Day 212 - It is not my tale but hers. xx

Wednesday 31st July

Scottish island mum has obviously ignited another debate and this time it cuts to the heart of how we live our lives.  My inbox probably exploded some time around 3am because my lovely American readers seemed to have a lot to say on the subject.  Yesterdays post on the value of the Eigg community and way of life touched a lot of us and has obviously given us to points to reflect on.  There does appear to be a consensus that we have, on the whole, over complicated life but also that we can not easily undo all that complication.  Modern western lives seem to depend on a more and more complex way of living that to undo it would not be easy or, indeed, helpful.  One reader stated firmly that she believes we are all addicted to our complications and have lost touch with the simple things in life.  She may well have a point.  I use technology all the time and would be hopeless without my ipad.  It is this technology that allows me to live on Arran and yet still reach out to people all over the world.  I think it is important not to demonize technology because in lots of way it has made life simpler. 

I was really talking about the way community living is constructed.  On Eigg it seems so simple and effortless and I think we have largely lost that elsewhere.  Here the island is in charge and the people respond and build their lives accordingly.  Mother nature is not complicated but she is also uncompromising and the people of  Eigg have responded in a way that transcends constructions that wider society become caught up in.  I have discovered, by being here, that I like simple and I am happy to leave Mother Nature to set the pace and the boundaries.  I am thrilled to announce that I will be writing a piece for Waverly Fitzgerald's site Living in Season.  I want this piece to focus on the central thesis that the islanders of Eigg have constructed a way of life that makes a full and honest response to the way this place has been constructed and the way it needs to be.  There is no compromising from an island only five miles long but capable of taking the full force of what the sea and weather can throw at it.  Regular readers will know that writing for Waverly has to be the most incredible honour and I will certainly post the link here.  Many of you have been on this journey with me and so will be, no doubt, very familiar with Waverly's work.  If you are a new reader can I just recommend her book Slow Time.  It would not be of an overstatement to say that her book changed my life.  I will say no more in the hope that you will read it. 

Today has been a day of writing as I want to finish as much as I can while having the peace and quiet to do it.  Last night I posted my Stress Busting Manifesto on my facebook page and then woke up to very humbling feedback that I was truly touched by. I never intended it to have all the answers and I think readers have understood that.  I have so many friends struggling with the effect of stress on their health that I just wanted to do something to help.  To know that it has been well received is a joy so thank you to all who took time to message me. 

This morning I revisited the old crofting museum because I had a piece brewing that I didn't think I could write unless I sat in her chair.  So I sat in her chair and the piece transferred from her to me in a matter of minutes.  You will understand that 'Walking with the land' is not my piece and it does not belong to me.  It belongs to her and I was just the vessel for sharing and I do hope you can hear her tale. 

This afternoon Molly and I took one last walk to the shore and met a lovely lady called Moss who would very much liked to have joined us.  She was every bit as friendly as the people of this island and Molly and I chatted to her for a while and took her picture.  Meet Moss. 

Quite unbelievably I have also managed to write the next months pdf for my Meditation Through Writing course.  At the half way point I have rather turned things on their head and I am pleased with the outcome.  All writers need to be challenged to feel alive and this pdf will certainly challenge.  Based on the role of the inner critic it takes the students to a place that challenges them to push their writing out there to be read and appreciated.  Feedback is such a vital part of the writer's journey and should not be avoided if the unique voice is to be shaped and developed.  My on going dialogue with my readers has made such an enormous difference and I now have a clear vision of the writer I want to become. 

So, my days on Eigg are almost over and I have been building a new flickr set dedicated to my time here.  It is by no means finished but do take a look if you have time and let me know what you think.  It has been a complete privilege to be able to add my footprints to this enchanting island and I have a feeling I will return.  I might be leaving tomorrow but I have some more writing to come telling me quite clearly that the quest for Scottish island mum to visit the Scottish islands and share her experiences through the written word is, indeed, a great quest.  It may take me some time to complete this quest, if indeed it is ever completed, but as Waverly tells me in her emails it will be done 'in good time.' 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 211 - Have we got it wrong?

Tuesday 30th July

I am not sure time exists on Eigg, at least not in the way we have grown to view it.  I have no idea what time it is and I see the whole concept completely differently on this tiny island.  I have no schedule so that helps to view time differently but I have also slept the best I have slept in years in my little cocoon.  I like that you can hear nature so well through the thin wooden shell and so when we have an almighty downpour, as we did last night, you fear you might be washed into the sea.  Then, when you are sleeping, you dream of the ark floating away over and over again.  You are somehow more connected with the outside world when you live in a wooden structure and it suits me well.  If you layer that with time determined by light and dark I think you just about have it right.  It is balanced. 

I am not absolutely sure what is going on with earwigs though as they appear to inhabit every tiny space within this wooden cocoon.  They are not my favourite creatures but I like ticks even less and found one of them in my bed last night before it found me!  They all get rounded up and released back into their world outside mine and balance is, once more, restored.  I have a pair of hooded crows who entertain me in the evening as they dance along the hillside looking for evening grubs before taking flight to the cliffs to settle in for their night.  In the morning I toss my toast crumbs onto the steps of the cocoon and my adorable female blackbird hops over for breakfast.  Her partner still keeps his distance preferring the morning worms to toast. 

These relationships are so easily and naturally established if you are living simply because I think you are somewhat closer to the resident wildlife.  Today we saw two pairs of Buzzards floating on the thermals and then hovering to hunt and even they didn't seem so far away.  If you plan to come to Eigg you should consider keeping your accommodation simple and strip back your needs to the very basic because the rewards will stay with you forever. 

Molly and I walked to the tea rooms today.  Walking on Eigg is all about hills until you reach the top of the plateau and then it is flat for miles.  The problem is that you have to reach the plateau first and that is not easy for me.  I looked at the walk ahead and knew it was going to take a huge effort but also knew I would get to the top.  I did get to the top but it was not achieved quickly or with very much grace.  Once up you are rewarded with truly captivating views and a flat walk straight to the tea room.  The tea room is a house with a Mongolian yurt in the garden.  You knock at the door and a lovely lady answers and you put your order in.  In our case you then dart under the umbrella to avoid a heavy rain shower.  You meet the local, well rounded dog and a stray chicken that then takes cover under the hedge to see out the shower.  Tea is actually a wonderful pot of coffee and two wholemeal scones each with homemade jam.  Suddenly the walk is very worthwhile.

Over the road from the tea room is a visitor centre which looks like it was created in the 1970s but that is the charm of it.  Working your way round the exhibits you realise that you have noticed a great deal about the island already and that is rather satisfying.  Next door is a swap shop.  You just leave stuff there that you no longer want and pick things up that you do want.  Both places are completely unmanned and work perfectly.  This is the essence of the community life on the island.  The islanders do not over complicate their lives and, coming here, you realise how much we are all capable of making our lives unnecessarily complicated.  The issues of freedom and security come to mind as defining factors that allow the Eigg islanders to live the way they do.  They do not have the security issues the rest of us might have and they, therefore, have far more freedom.  They have freedom to create lives how they want them to be created rather than lives that are dictated by wider society.  This thought process can only ever end one way.  The people of Eigg have got it right and the rest of us have got it wrong.  We have lost our way in the world by deliberately over complicating the way we live and it would be very hard to undo that now.  I have believed this for a while and Arran teaches you that in its own way but Eigg really makes the point in a way that you can not avoid. 

So, if you take my earlier point about how easily and immediate the connections are with wildlife and add in the way the islanders live a picture is emerging of a very different way of living.  A way of life that is dictated more by the natural environment than the latest technology.  A world that is shared with all species in a balanced and cherishing manner and a way of 'being'.  Beyond Eigg I think we all carve out a 'way of life' but on Eigg you create a 'way of being' and they are very different concepts. 

Visiting the Isle of Eigg is thus life affirming and life changing in the same breath and the experience is to be recommended.  I already live on a Scottish island but Arran is very different from Eigg and would never offer the learning that is generated from being here.  Here it is a process of unlearning as you strip life back to the basics and see what contentment is really about.  It is about sitting on top of a hill watching the evening sky or walking for over an hour to get a cup of good coffee.  It is about a newly constructed sense of time and a connection with the natural world that is deeply rewarding and full of wonder.  Above all, it is a complete and utter privilege. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 210 - I almost missed the very obvious. xx

Monday 29th July

Today was about looking for connections that I could use to understand this small island and its place in the world.  Last evening I met with Lucy from Eiggbox and had the most stimulating meeting I have had for a very long time.  Eiggbox is a project that has a soul located in the island and the community that call it home.  A creative space that lives in the minds for now but going through a process of translation to a physical building in the coming years.  I have a very strong arts background so Lucy and I found ourselves on a similar page almost immediately but it was much more than that that inspired me.  Lucy understands the island and the uniqueness of it and can see the opportunity that Eiggbox offers.  A place creative work and potential collaborations between local artists and also involving visiting artists in the form of residencies.  For all her creativity Lucy is also a pragmatist and so has defined an economic model that has great potential as a self sufficient social enterprise.  I admired Lucy and felt privileged to have met her.  I am now working on a piece following this initial interview but this will only be the start.  Scottish island mum is committed to following the development of Eiggbox and, in due course, I will devote a page of this blog to the project so that we can all share in the journey. 

Meeting Lucy and seeing her evident connection with the island made me more determined to forge my own connections.  I have to put my feelings that I shouldn't be here to one side and have a more determined research strategy in my limited time here.  Before I came here I thought my research would be based on oral histories as I attempted to uncover the community that is Eigg.  That has now all changed and I think location has everything to do with that change.  My little cocoon is based in the north west of the island in a place called Cleadale and this is crofting country.  There is my most obvious connection and I almost missed it.  I might not technically run a tenanted croft but I do run a smallholding and, ultimately, the goals are the same.  Firstly to preserve the landscape and tread lightly and secondly to earn a living from that very land.  Lucy's husband Ed has a licence from the Scottish government to harvest and sell bluebell seeds.  I run a cut flower and willow smallholding so we are not worlds apart.  I had not realised the peril that bluebells are in until I read their website so I would want to do an initial appeal for readers to buy seeds from Ed.  You will be supporting him in making a real and critical difference. 

I have achieved two things together as part of this growing connection with the island.  I have walked along the road which passes most of the crofts and studied how the land is divided and used.  I have also visited the crofting museum and it was there that flickering thought patterns began to crystalize.  A traditional Scottish blackhouse the museum has been preserved as if the last inhabitants had just popped out to the shop.  These living museum always have a story to tell and this one was no different.  The story settles on a family owned croft for over 90 years which witnessed almost continual change and challenge.  Crofting was and is a challenging way of life and fell out of favour in the post war period.  Now, however, the Crofting Council have a large and growing waiting list of people wanting to take on a croft. 

This croft is typical I feel for the struggles facing crofters and this is captured by the words of Roy Gibson who says 'the land has held the people - the people have not owned the land'.  There lies the problem that dates back hundreds of years.  Crofting is based on a tenanted model so this limits what can be done with the croft.  Restrictions have been placed throughout history that have made it harder and harder to earn a decent living from a croft. 




On Eigg the Trust owns the land since the 1997 buy out and they assign the crofts.  Cleadale in a crofting community that is of this century with its harvesting of bluebell seeds, its gardening courses and its organic vegetable growing.  The diversity in intent is all about each crofter finding their way on the island and that speaks volumes.  However, I still believe that it is a challenging existence and no one does it to make their fortune and that is an accepted part of crofting.  Interestingly, I realised today that my writing residency on the Isle of Lewis is based on a croft and they have a completely different model from the one operating here.  I feel this crofting story will run a little longer yet. 



Now I have something to connect with I feel slightly more at ease about being here and sharing the island with the wildlife.  My second research strategy was to use a tool that I have spent the last few years developing.  I took myself off to the beach to do a meditation that had called me the very first time I stepped on it on Saturday.  Although not alone it was easy to find a spot to sit and prepare.  Using the relatively simple technique of visualization I followed a shard of blue light that hung in the air above the Isle of Rum.  Taking that view into my minds eye the meditation was easily accessed and rewarding to complete.  I am currently leading a course on meditation through writing so I recorded the meditation and have published it on my Isle of Eigg page. 

I then went on a scramble around the rocks with their volcanic histories so evident to see as they created the natural pools.  These more spiritual activities further connected me to the island without erasing the questions that I think Eigg asks of all of us.  I have not changed my mind as I still believe that Eigg has spoken to me and asked me to rethink how much I take from the world compared to how much I give.  These deeper reflections are in my mind constantly as I reconsider the way my life on Arran is constructed and the changes I feel I need to make.  More on that as the days unravel towards my return home.

As I walked up from the beach I could hear band practice with some serious heavy metal music making.  A line of sheep chilling on the path having arrived just in time for the start.  I even saw heads bobbing up and down.  Another example of how the Isle of Eigg works and believe me this place really works. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 209 - I take too much from the world. xx

Sunday 28th July

I am in the middle one!

I am already in a different space and time noted last night when it didn't get dark until almost midnight.  I watched the sun setting over the Isle of Rum and drank tea.  The most perfect evening.  I am loving my little wooden cocoon and already getting so much writing done that I have proved my own theory correct; that I need to be alone to write.  Convincing myself of an Eigg monster got me out of my sleeping bag to find a rather large gull dancing on my roof just as it got light. 

Today the island has been shrouded in fine, misty rain and it makes the remoteness more acute.  After a productive morning of writing Molly appeared out of the mist and off we went in search of the singing sands.  Within moments our feet were soaked through and that was before Molly led us through a bog.  We had somehow managed to miss the beaten track down to the coast so ended up in a boggy field complete with rather large bull.  We shouldn't be allowed out on our own.  The complete lack of car sounds makes Eigg immediately appealing as the soundscape echoes the chants of nature.  You enter a new type of alertness and it feels slightly alien.  Nothing is quite how it usually is and that creates a continual process of reflection.  Despite living on a Scottish island this is a very different experience and it is a much deeper connection with the natural world.  You instinctively know that mother nature is in charge of this game and you are rather insignificant.   I like insignificance and I like Eigg. 

My internal struggle remains in tact as I discover a land where I feel I should not be.  I have never stepped onto a place where I didn't feel I had every right to be so it is a completely unique feeling.  I tried to put that aside on our walk so I could just listen to the land and see what it was saying.  One boggy detour later we find the path we should have been on and make our way down to the singing sands.  To my delight the sands did, indeed, sing as I stepped onto them.  It is a high pitched sound made by your shoes so no mermaids emerging from the sea in full choral glory.  The white sands are  dusted with black specks from the dominant rocks and there is a virgin quality about the landscape that is truly captivating.  With the shrouded Isle of Rum watching over us we walked the length of the beach and scrambled up the rocks. 

Let me tell you these are not any ordinary rocks.  The tales of time are etched into every layer and the vivid colours and shapes create the most stunning sculptural experience.  The salty sea erosion has created small cracks that shape views and call you over.  Nature has even created a natural walkway to move from one part of the sands to thee other.  Despite the lack of natural light a camera is a must on a walk like this as Eigg reveals its many charms. 

 

While on the beach I was struck by the difference.  There were footprints in the sand made by seabirds and humans.  The seabirds had the lightest of touches while our footprints left a noticeable hole in the sand.  All at once my feeling that I should not be there returned and when we began to leave the sands behind us we came across a skeleton of a small gull and the imagery in my head became about as vivid as it gets. 

Molly puts up an excellent and well considered counter argument that I know to be true.  In the short time I have been here I can see evidence of an harmonious relationship between people and wildlife so I am not debating that.  My debate centres on a deeply personal challenge about just how much I take from the world compared to how much I give.  I take more than I need and do not give nearly as much as I should. 












It is a good internal struggle that is reflective and responsive and so I am contend to let it stay with me for further pondering.  How much do I really need from the world to exist happily and how much more can I give and in what ways can this be achieved?  Useful questions I think that had their roots in the very first step I took on Eigg. I am already in debt to this most beautiful of places. 

Knowing that this trip is captivating my every thought I have sensibly created a separate page for it so that I might share some more photographs and creative writings.  I have also found time to put my first entry onto the balanced child page including notes from one of my lovely readers.  I have managed a first draft of my stress busting manifesto so I am now more confident of publication in the coming days.  All this in one day.  I rest my case about my coccon living on the Isle of Eigg. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 208 - a journey to feed the soul. xx

Saturday 27th July

Pete and I have been married for 23 years today and never spent an anniversary apart until today.  We were married in the New Forest on a beautiful summers day and it was just perfect.  I am back in the forests today but this time on a train journey through the Highlands and what a journey it is.  If you haven't done it put it on our 'to do' list because it is breathtaking.  We just keep climbing and I keep yawning.  It is difficult to believe that people live here but they must do because this train stops every few minutes - no wonder it takes so long to get to Mallaig. 

It is the scale of the landscape that makes you feel small and so it should.  We are all guilty of being full of our self importance from time to time.  This landscapes reminds us that Mother Nature is in charge and we are but a small pawn in an expansive and complex game.  You can clearly see where glaciers would have cut a path through the land and left behind deep and impressive valleys.  Every so often the trees part and we get a glimpse of a loch with its deep blue water and its sense of stillness.  Then we are plunged back into green either side and I feel a little closed in.  The contrast is good for the soul, I think. 

 

The clouds are low in places and sitting on top of the hills as if they have always been there.  To be up with the clouds is making everyone sleepy and eyes are closing all around me.  You see the occasional flock of sheep on the lower hillsides and this the odd house completely alone and isolated.  There is so much ungrazed land that meadow buttercup dominates and turn the odd corner a butterfly yellow. 

As we pull into a station I could never hope of pronouncing suddenly we see houses and lots of them.  We see a road and cars and this little settlement signals a community existing deep in the valleys.  The train shunts about a bit as we separate in two for different journeys.  I am on to the end of the line so I am hoping people will be getting off en route because there are too many people on this train.  There is also far too much chat although I have been reminding myself of my school days German.  A bit more shunting and a bit more waiting and finally we are underway again.  Staying in the moment means that Eigg has been lost from my mind as I focus on the drama that is all around me.  Just the occasional break to text Di and Pete but the rest of the time is spent being completely aware of my surroundings. 

We have stopped climbing and find ourselves on a plateau with farms dotted across the fields.  A pair of border collies are herding a flock of sheep as they make patterns on the earth.  Quite suddenly a buzzard joins the train and stays with us for a few minutes.  We are so close we can see the detailing on the wings and his eyes.  I watched it glide away towards the other side of the valley and wondered where its mate was.  We start to climb again.  Are we not at the top yet?  Below is another small village with roads winding through and beyond. 

I see a river bed completely dry and it is difficult to believe I am in Scotland.  The clouds are parting and the sun is emerging to wash us all with warmth.  The rock outcrops seem to get more and more spectacular as this journey unfolds.   Time for a cup of tea.....

Emerging out of the the dominant scots pine forests we are flanked by the most stunning avenue of trees.  All individual and all beautiful even the dead ones that sculpture the view.   A huge dry cracked river bed follows our journey for a while as green grasslands are peppered with scorched brown patches.  This lack of highland water is a little unnerving and not at all familiar.  It seems like everyone around me is sleeping and all is quiet on the train at last.  Peatlands return us to scots pine once more with the dead forest floors and the shrinking light.  They might be an excellent cash crop but they offer very little to the eye and I find myself craving my dead tree sculptures again.  The distance mountain ranges steal the view and you know that you are in the land of the eagles.  Somewhere out there there are eagles and this feel likes their home.  We are intruding briefly as we pass through in the knowledge that the mountains will not give up their secrets.  We will not see any eagles but they will see us. 

Rannoch seems like a ghost village will dull whispers around every corner.  You start to feel that you are not welcome here either.  In the last few minutes you feel like you are not wanted because this land belongs to others.  We climb again.  Wild deer are just there, close enough to touch and looking right at us.  Now I know why we are intruding but they know we are just passing through.  No one got off the train and no one got on at Rannoch.  A deer fence begins to stretch as far as the eye can see and the separation seems artificial but, at the same time, accepting.  The deer graze close to the fence and everyone is sleeping.  I was the only one who saw the deer.  I am blessed.   A little dog barks and everyone wakes up with a start and I smile.  Heads flop and eyes close once more and peace is restored.  I am tired after a hot and sticky night but I couldn't sleep through this if I tried. The scale of it begs attention and every valley is different and I don't want to miss a second.  Deer are much higher in this valley and edge the skyline which is not so far from us.  A majestic stag watches us as I count the hinds and make that 24.  Lucky boy!  Suddenly a little girl spots them and shouts 'deer' and the eyes are all awake again just long enough to see the stag take his hinds out of view.  My eyes are skyward searching for birds of prey but part from the lonely buzzard the sky is empty. 

The rivers have stopped flowing into the loch and the rocky edges are exposed.  Empty channels litter the hillside where the water should be and you wonder who has switched the tap off.  The loch stretches for miles but still no rivers flow and the shallow waters are full of silt and weigh heavily towards the centre of the loch.  At last, three hours into the journey, I see the heather.  Plums and purples seep down the side of the hillside reminding me that I am, indeed, in Scotland.  A river cleansing the valley floor and the heather sits up and takes notice. The most majestic colours in the Scottish landscape are not lost on my fellow passengers as cameras emerge from bags.  A small child is crying so sleep has been abandoned by most and the constant chatting begins again.  The sun washes the train people start to shuffle.  I fear I have rather taken root.  Time to visit the toilet to get this body moving again.  I will, of course, ignore the pain. 

Ok so the toilet was right at the other end of the train so a good wobbly walk there and back and my body knows it is awake.  My stick is, of course, in my suitcase which is completely buried under a mountain of bags.  Half way through my wobble a lovely gentleman stood up and asked if I needed any help.  Brushing my disabled thoughts from my mind I gladly took the help and he steered me to the toilet and I thanked him and rushed in.  When I emerged he was waiting for me and I was really touched.  How thoughtful and kind and I told him so as he insisted on walking me back to my seat.  I can't sit for this long without consequences but that experience could have been worse.  All that is left is a stagger from the train to the ferry and off the ferry at Eigg where my beloved daughter will be waiting.  I am beginning to feel a sense of achievement. 

Back to the journey.  Spean Bridge I have visited before when we had a holiday near Fort William.  It is a delightful centre for walkers and climbers as we are near Ben Nevis.  We are therefore climbing again and this time we shall reach the top before we turn west.  This last hour or so of the journey promises to be the best.  Any Harry Potter fans out there will know the journey as it is the one the steam train takes on its way to Hogwarts.  A gentle tingling from within signals some real excitement.  I have done this journey across to Mallaig before in a car but everyone tells me the train ride is far better.  Ben Nevis is first and not a small mountain by anyone's standards.  The couple behind me are planning to climb it tomorrow because I heard them talking about it.  It will be quite a climb and I do hope they get a clear day for it.  I will be safely delivered to my cocoon on Eigg by then and hopefully sitting on the signing sands painting what I see. 

The landscapes is opening up as we approach Fort William and cars are most evident.  We are on the edge of civilisation and lots of people are planning to leave the train.  Excellent.  We are probably as high as we are going to get and truly up among the tree tops and the clouds.  The air seems thin and I am yawning once more.  For a while the track is edged with industrial buildings and housing estates and it all seems a bit odd.  I had quite got used to the mountains, trees and lochs.  There is a queue to get off the train and this is very encouraging.  I do like people but not when I am travelling.  I like to inhabit my own space and time and people disturb that with their constant chatter.  Ok, plan might not be working because lots of people are getting on.......

Lots of 'excuse mes' and tutting later and we seem to have found seats.  Close the doors so that no one else can get on.  I am door watching and hoping because the seat next to me remains empty and that is the way I would like it to saty.  I am mindful of that lovely ex army guy who sat next to me on the train from Edinburgh to Retford.  When the train killed that person I was grateful for the company and the two of us jumped into gear helping dozens of distressed passengers.  I wonder what he is doing today?  We got on really well and he was the perfect companion on a traumatic journey. 

At last we are underway and I feel nothing but relief.  There is lots of chatting but I am trying to zone that out.  We are on the final stage of the train journey and it is to be savoured and remembered me thinks.  Journeys are destinations and destinations are journeys to me and that is why I love to travel.  You will, perhaps, understand my frustration about the difficulties I now face but appreciate my determination to keep doing it.  Travel has expanded my mind and this trip has been a delight.  The Scottish landscape has shared its hidden valleys and memorising lochs with me and I feel recharged.  The Neptune staircase comes into view and I am suddenly mindful of my desire to live on a canal boat.  Every day could be a journey then and so enriching as long as I am not in a hurry.  There are lots of important looking cameras emerging from bags and I think we are getting ready.  My shots have to be taken with my iPad as I switch between typing and taking photographs.  It is perhaps this that has kept me awake. 

The train is making a different sound now we have stopped climbing.  It sounds exciting as it trundles along its way to the coast.  It is like the child in the back seat asking when will we be able to see the sea.  The excitement is palpable.  The German guys who have been on the train with me since Glasgow are now drunk having shared the contents of a welly  boot.  I am thinking whiskey by the smell and I don't much fancy their hangovers later. 

Minutes out of Fort William and words fail me.  It is beyond beautiful as it stretches ahead of us.  Deep blue lochs go on for miles and sailing boats bob up and down as if abandoned  to their own fate.  There is a balance to what we can see now with mountains leading to valleys and onto into lochs.  There is also running water down mountainsides and my familiar view of Scotland is restored.  The grey clouds hug the tops of the mountains and in places it all closes down into a more intimate experience.   Then there is the viaduct and I can't get a shot because I am way too polite and get barged out of the way.  Will try on the way back next week.  Lots of very big men with important looking cameras who clearly think they are far more important than me. 

With less than an hour to go I now see what Molly meant when she said you don't really notice the time on this journey.  There is so much to take away from this but my solo encounter with the deer is perhaps my favourite moment.  I love deer and these were very good specimens and they were a picture of calm and all that is well.  Perhaps I will come back as a deer?  Beyond the deer it is the scale of the beauty as it humbles me reminding me of the small space I inhabit in the world.  Largely uninhabitable by humans the landscape creates its own drama and highlights and it is for us to capture it in our minds eye so that we can recall I whenever we want to. 

 
Slowly but very surely my head turns towards Eigg but before that the ferry journey and some glimpses of other islands.  Islands that I want to visit one day.  Skye is high on my list that I don't have because of the dramatic cliffs that are a 'must see'.   As the train ambles ever nearer the sea we are weaving our way through smaller lochs with delightful tree islands rising from the middle.  Once at Mallaig there is a bit of a wait for the ferry which is then another hour and a half until it reaches Eigg.  I am thinking a gentle end to the day with an early supper and bed.  I have a meeting tomorrow morning with one of the Eiggbox team so I need to be focused and with the programme.  After that I am off to explore the singing sands and see if they speak to me.  It is difficult to comprehend an island only 5 miles long and almost totally without cars.  The soundscape will be different.  The first glimpse of the sea as we begin to track the coast down to Mallaig.  I can't help feeling incredibly lucky that this opportunity has presented itself. 

Until tomorrow.
Post script
I have arrived and its beauty is quite beyond comparison.  Molly appears to have gone native and I have had my feet in the sea.  So much more tomorrow.  xx

Day 207 - it is against me. Xx

Friday 26th July

I had planned to post our lovely Di's first blog but things are against that today.  First the Internet was down all morning on the island and now I am having to nick someone else's wifi.  Don't tell them!  I think I will admit defeat and just say Hi from my mobile device instead.  I hope this isn't going to be the pattern for the whole week.  I know that Molly can blog from her house on eigg so I will be over there if needs be.

Sorry to Di and I will make it up to you!  Large glass of white stuff on me.  I have arrived in Glasgow and my goodness it is hot and busy.  Trying out the euro hostel cos it is cheap and this is only a stop over.  Let me tell you it is the cleanest place I have ever stayed in Glasgow!  Of course it is a bit basic and full of young people making me feel ancient but those are the breaks.  There is only one thing for it and that will be a glass of wine and some people watching.  Got to make the most of my visit to the city.  Mindfulness teaches us to live in the moment so despite the ridiculously loud music I am staying put for half an hour to see what I can see.  Might put some updates on my facebook later or might just try and sleep.

Whatever you guys are doing this weekend I hope you have a lovely one.  Hopefully my next blog will be once I am on the Isle of Eigg which will be an absolute and complete contrast to this.  I feel very old.

Until tomorrow.  Xx

Day 206 - I am surely going to burst.....xx

Thursday 25th July

This Scottish island mum is getting excited.  I have managed to do some packing and I am little better organised.  I leave Arran tomorrow afternoon and get as far as Glasgow for an overnight stay.  On Saturday I take the train to Mallaig and then the ferry to Eigg.  If the wind is in the right direction Molly will be at the pier waiting with my food shopping.  Tis easy. 

I did wonder how much you guys know about the Isle of Eigg.  Assuming nothing might be simpler at this stage so apologies if you know lots.  Part of the small isles Eigg is located off the west coast of Scotland and is close to the much larger Isle of Skye and the wildlife sanctuary that is the Isle of Muck.  It is approximately 5 miles long and 3 miles wide so I hope to see most of it in the time I am there.  In the late 1990s Eigg was the subject of a community buy out ending a long period of instability.  The islanders are self sufficient in energy and apparently they has internet.  Let us hope so! 

 

There are only about 100 people resident on the island and the main settlement of Cleadale is in the north west and that is where I am staying.  Molly is also in that part of the island currently working as an assistant warden for the Scottish Wildlife Trust.  Cars are only allowed on under special licence so walking and cycling are the preferred modes of transport.  During my time on the island I am staying in a wooden cocoon which is kind of posh camping.  I am near the singing sands which is a truly special place and I expect to spend quite a bit of time writing there. 

Why am I going?
Tempted to answer that with 'because I want to' but that would be only half the story and I don't do half stories.  I am going because I have been fascinated with what the islanders have achieved since I first heard of the buy out.  I have two writing projects to do while on the island.  The first is an open ended piece about my take of the island so I am not sure what the specific focus will be.  The second piece is about their Eiggbox scheme which is an arts project that involves building an arts resource centre with studio space for islanders and additional space for residencies.  Due to be completed in 2015 I am keen to learn about the vision for the project and how they are bringing that vision to life.  I am meeting a member of the project team on Sunday so that will be a critical time to make sense of this project. 

I also hope to do some creative nature writing while on the island but have no idea where that will take me as I sit here.  I hope to spend some time with Molly although she will probably be working through the days.  My final reason for going is a new one.  I have seriously dipped my toe into contemplative photography and I can't think of a better venue.  I want to try and capture the essence of the island through carefully crafted photographs that offer up their own questions and observations. 

This project is the start, I think, of a plan to visit as many Scottish islands as possible in order to tap into what makes each one unique.  Regular readers will know that I am off to the Isle of Lewis next May and I have some other potential island projects brewing under the surface.  Although these first two projects are solo I am hoping to do some visits with other people.  The lovely Di is in my sights for at least one visit but I have a few other people that I know that might be interested.  This is really a long term project and integrally linked with my new site One soul many hearts as I aim to get behind the headlines offered up by an island and tap into the essence through contemplative photography, well chosen articles and creative writing.  If you can connect with any of this do let me know and we might end up on a Scottish island together.  What fun!  There might seem a slightly random feel to all of this but I think that is partly the point.  I am resisting any temptation to have a view on Eigg until I am actually on the island as that is what will make this project work.  It has to be a true response to a unique place and that is my intention for each and every one of the islands I manage to visit over the next few years. 

So, today has all been about getting organised and that is mainly because of my limitations with carrying luggage.  It makes the whole packing thing a bit more strategic.  I might have enough knickers for the entire trip but most of the rest of my clothes have come out of the bag so that I can fit in my watercolour painting set, journal, sewing stuff and ipad.  I think this is a good thing. 

I will blog earlier tomorrow as I introduce you to the lovely Di with her maiden piece.  Di is a complete and utter joy and our reconnection has been life changing.  You will all get to know her really well over the coming months and once the new site is up she will joining me as a writer but also, I hope, helping with some editorial work.  Did I mention I have an idea for an online magazine linked to the site?  Best leave that for another day. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 205 - I blame Kirsty Allsopp. xx

Wednesday 24th July

The sun has returned but this time with a wonderful sea breeze and is just perfect.  A girl who is about to leave the island for a week should be busy making lovely things for her two large events in August and doing her washing.  This girl did neither today and I blame Kirsty Allsopp.  Last evening I watched the first in her new series about furnishing your home from other people's junk and that was that.  As soon as the programme had ended I am into the studio in the house and taking it apart.  I have been meaning to do that for weeks because I have my new studio now but did I need to do it last night?  Of course I did because under my stacked wooden fruit boxes was a bookcase that I wanted to turn into a bench for the sitting room. 

Pete completely despairs at me when I am taken over by an idea because there is absolutely no stopping me.  I unearthed the bookcase that was to become a bench and created just what I wanted in the sitting room.  Then there was the tiny matter of the mess I left behind in the studio.  I went to bed.

So, this morning when I should have been putting finishing touches to my candles and ensuring everything is labelled I am actually sat in the middle of an almighty mess.  This does not phase me and three hours later I have created a small workspace that will do well in the winter when it is too cold to work in the studio.  I have also refashioned my wood fruit boxes to make a new book case and display area for my beach finds in the sitting room.  I was very pleased with my efforts.  Bit by bit we are on a mission to 'get rid' and so there was another dustbin bag full created and some more pieces for the local charity shop.  The next room is the kitchen and I have some ideas brewing for that space.  I have an original 1950/60s kitchen cabinet that I inherited from my Grandparents and that will be the main feature of the room.  The rest is going to be done 'Kirsty style' so let the skip hunting begin.  I want to create an original vintage kitchen so we shall see if I have this in me.

This afternoon I still avoided what I should have been doing and went for an iced coffee and scone with my lovely Angie and her two children.  We went to the Glenisle in hotel which is not somewhere I have been very often.  I was really impressed and will go again.  We sat outside under huge umbrellas in the shape with a view to the Holy Isle.  After coffee we then took the children onto the grass to play ball and completely lost all sense of time.  Angie is my partner in crime at these two craft events and is no further on than me.  The difference is that she has an extra week while I am on Eigg but who is counting.  Sometimes, it is lovely just to step off for a while and lie in the grass and so that is precisely what we did.  I am 50 next year (horrors) so we began planning a girly weekend away and that was way more important than sticking labels on products.  I think we have our priorities right. 






It all went a little wrong when I then went into one of the shops that sells my products and saw just how low in stock they are.  There was the briefest of guilt feeling rising within but I squatted that away quickly.  It will all wait until I am back from Eigg when I will be so chilled that I won't care.  That is the plan anyway.

I have calculated that if I don't go and put some washing on I will have no clothes while on Eigg.  Shrinking your wardrobe down to less than 20 pieces is all well and good but you do have to keep up with the washing.  I may not be as clever as I think I am. 

Until a more focused tomorrow.  xx

Day 204 - The last to get my homework in. xx

Tuesday 23rd July

Not to miss out on all the fun Arran had its very own crackles and light show this morning as the humid air was well and truly broken.  Now we are just shrouded in mist and I fear the island is lost at sea.  It is as if we are drifting quite alone and I love that. 

The Doubledays have been busy today.  Pete, George and Max got deep into economics in home school leading to how money is made and moved about.  They also watched a film showing our gold reserve which they found completely fascinating.  Harry was at work with the crackles and light show and we have just finished the cardiovascular system in his diploma.  We are about to move onto the respiratory system which will be good for him as he needs to understand what is going on in his lungs as he is a little prone to infection there.  Speaking of lung infections Pete went off to the doctors yesterday thinking chest infection and was told pneumonia so that was a bit of a shocker.  He insists on getting on with everything but I am trying to persuade him to slow it all down at least.  I am thinking we are not the healthiest of families at the moment. 

I have been busy making and making and think I almost have a table worth of lovely things for the Victorian day at the Castle.  I won't have any spare things under the table so that should be interesting by the end of the day.  Then, a week later we have the Highland Games so lots more making still to be done.   I managed to make just a few of our herbal healing gift bags that are so popular.  They contain one of our herbal soothers and a dream pillow and make a lovely gift. 




Today was also the final batch of candle and melt making which was ylang ylang.  This is my personal favourite as it has a wild coastal smell and I decorate these candles with beach fragments.  It is, for me, the ultimate candle experience.  I have had a couple of emails asking about soy wax so it might be useful to explain why I only use this wax.  Soy wax comes from soya beans and is completely natural.  Most candles are made with wax made from paraffin so when you are relaxing burning a lovely candle you are actually surrounding yourself with a nasty and destructive chemical.  That is not the case with soy wax.  I also only use essential oils while most candle making uses artificial fragrances and colouring.  I do not colour my wax.  The aim is to make candles that are genuinely therapeutic and feedback would suggest that we have, indeed, achieved that.  I am slightly obsessed with vintage tea sets so I collect up part sets that nobody wants anymore and use them in my candle making.  My best seller is the vintage teacup candle but a close second is the vintage tea plate with cupcake candles.  It brings out the girl in me. 

I have also been asked if I sell online.  We used to sell a huge amount online but this year all that has taken a back seat as Scottish island mum has sprouted her wings.  I think what I will do is start listing our gifts on the With Love from Arran facebook page from September onwards so that off islanders can buy from us.  We do sell locally in shops and craft markets but that is no use for our supporters who live off island.  So if might be worth clicking on the link and liking our page and that way you will get updates. 

I have received a couple of really interesting emails from people happy to share their experiences of parenting so will aim to put these up on the Balanced Child page before I go to Eigg.  I am looking for little gems that have made magical moments with your children and led to appropriate behaviour developing.  The more of these we can share the better me thinks!

I do not know how I am finding time to work on my two online courses with Waverly Fitzgerald but I just about squeeze them in and I am quite sure my homework is the last to be delivered.  Today I wrote about calendula (pot marigold) which is possibly one of the most useful plant to grow in your garden.  The ancient Greeks and Romans used it in culinary and healing ways and the people of India discovered its oil properties.  We use the petals in salad in the summer but I discovered today that dried petals can also be added to your winter stews.  This year I am going to draw out the natural oils by covering some flowers with olive oil and storing in a jam jar away from sunlight.  After one lunar month I will then strain off the flowers before adding a fresh batch to infuse into the oil for a further lunar month.  Once I have the oil I can use it to make skin balms for my family. 

My calendula have just burst into flower so once this rain has cleared and the flowers have dried I can pick them to get underway.  I am not quite sure which recipe I will use for the skin balms yet but I will share it here.  I have been studying edible flowers and flower essence making with Waverly who is so incredibly well educated on all these topics.  Her pdfs are inspirational and it is by using her work as an example that I have began to tread that path too.  I enjoy learning through distance learning and my children have been hugely successful with it so I am pulling on all that knowledge too.   

I am taking some small sewing projects to Eigg with me because I will have so much time on my hands.  I am really going to do my very best to walk as much as possible.  The absence of cars on the island makes walking a far more pleasant experience and I am really looking forward to it.  And then there is the writing which will occupy a lot of my time and that will be bliss.  To have no interruptions will make all the difference in the world. 

I have heard back from the residency just to confirm that my application has been received but also to let us all know that there has been a huge amount of applications and the standard is very high.  There is a surprise.  I wait, with interest, to see who gets it and what they make of the opportunity....  There will be more on this once I have returned from Eigg as I am going to push on with part of the project anyway and will be looking to involve others if at all possible.  There is much to do. 

A far too small a picture from the sand sculptures competition yesterday because I had to take it with my phone.  Number one child has my camera on a remote Scottish island. 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 203 - A thoughtful debate. xx

Monday 22nd July

Some coastal winds have washed the island today making it feel a little fresher than the last few days.  I have tried to use this natural momentum to get as much done as possible and I am quite pleased.  Home school was a delight as we worked on our spring/summer journals and began the process of pulling this project to its natural conclusion.  Come September George will be working through his level 2 qualifications and so this type of activity is coming to an end.  When Molly and then Harry left general home school to concentrate on their qualifications we missed them and it will be the same with George.  Home school will feel very different with just Max but  I also think he will benefit from some one to one.  Things have a way of working out. 

I have been rather scratching my head for a way of celebrating reaching 20,000 page views and then it came all in a rush.  George had done a watercolour painting of some summer cut flowers today and one of them looked a bit like a ladybird and so we worked up an idea.  We probably all have fridges with magnets or notice boards in our home.  We want everyone to print off this picture that George then created asking us all to grow wildflowers.  You will see that instead of blooms on top of stems he has drawn insects.  Our insects desperately need wildflowers which are often easier to feed from than cultivated flowers.  If all our readers printed off the picture and pinned it somewhere as a reminder then next year we might see more wildflower growing.  If you can manage to do that you can even send through a picture of his picture on your notice board and we can share some on the blog. It is such a simple idea but some of the best ideas are simple.  We can also all thank George for his picture.  Do send through your pics if you can. 

Creating lovely things continued and today was back to candle making with my own floral recipe made with a secret blend of essential oils.  This fragrance is our best seller so I am taking the recipe to my grave.  Floral fragrance is at its height towards the end of July and as I was making up more posies for the local shop this morning I realised how the flowers change week by week as the season progresses.  Today we had very fragrant posies with a blend of cut flowers and herbs.  Mint is in flower all over the smallholding and so incredibly fragrant.  Oregano is also in flower so that graduated into the posies today.  I have a slight dilemma here though as I have a limited stock and I dry flowering oregano for my winter wreaths as it holds its plum colour once dried.  I was just careful how much I harvested.  Calendula made it into the posies alongside sweet peas, snapdragons and lavender.  The scent of summer spread through the house as I tied each posy ready for delivery. 

I promised you a little peek at my mood board for next season.  It isn't finished but you can see the general direction on my Pinterest board.  We are moving away from selling potted herbs so all our herbs are being planted out for inclusion in the cut flower business which is taking off all by itself.  Fragrance and seasonality will be at the heart of all we do and we are excited about the future.

You will remember me talking about my long lost friend Di who I finally reconnected with after a 13 year old gap when I was down in Portsmouth.  I think we now chat most days via email and facebook and we have lots of plans brewing.  I simply adore Di's writing as it captures the way she sees the world.  I had quite forgotten how much Di and I used to laugh and now she is back in my life that lady is never leaving it again.  I want you all to meet Di and enjoy her writing so I delighted to announce that her first piece of writing will be published here this coming Friday.  Make a date with a cup of tea or a glass of wine and your lap top so that you can enjoy her work and begin to get to know her.  She has one of the warmest souls I know and you will all fall in love with her.  You will get to know her well over the coming months as she is doing more and more writing and then there are the joints projects.......more to come on those later. 

I have some lovely people in my life and most of us use facebook to chat on a regular basis.  I sometimes share things that I see that inspire me or make me stop and think.  I shared this picture and quote today put up by two women and a hoe which is a fabulous site.  I agreed with the sentiment but others didn't and a wonderfully reflective debate began in the comments.  So I thought I would share it with you to see what you make of it.  The main objection to it seemed to be that it suggests that forgiveness is automatic and therefore without understanding.  I didn't read it like that though.  I read it that the violet was ready to forgive and that that is a state of being.  Another friend then made the point that it may depend on the state of our own mind when reading the sentiment that affects how we interpret it and I think this is true.  I have spent a very long time on issues of forgiveness born out of compassion which, in turn, comes from an open heart.  This has come through my Buddhist teachings and I now find myself in a different place that a few years ago.  I find that my heart is, indeed, open and I am far more compassionate towards others and, perhaps, ready to forgive.  However, I do not do that without understanding.  It is simply that I weave that understanding into a compassionate outlook.  If I had to choose one text that has guided me the most in developing an open heart it would be the book edited by Nicholas Vreland following the visit of the Dalai Lama to New York some years ago.  Much of the book entitled 'An open heart - practising compassion in everyday life' is lifted from speeches made by the Dalai Lama.  For me the book teaches us ways of opening our minds up and training them to see the world in ways that lead to greater inner peace and happiness.  Compassion and forgiveness are absolutely central to that goal. 

I would be really interested to hear from any of you about how you interpret the sentiment of the crushed violet.  Do comment below or message me and I will feed that back in my next blog post.  I do like a thoughtful and reflective debate because I think we will all benefit from listening to the views of others. 

I am off to water in the tunnel and then down to the beach to see the sand sculptures.  Enjoy your evening.

Until tomorrow.  xx