Sunday, 14 July 2013

Day 195 - In a bit of a pickle but not for long. xx

Sunday 14th June

The birds were in great song this morning and although I couldn't get out of bed immediately I opened my window fully and enjoyed their company.  It has been a strange day of missed opportunities that I do not seem to care about.  Over the years I come to realise that I can't always do what I want to do when I want to do it and so I just let go.  Today I figured that anything I could do towards my two big events coming up would be a bonus.  Even at plodding pace I can still achieve quite a lot and today was no exception.  I completed the mosaics and did my usual trick of covering myself with grout.  I then moved on to hand painting a selection of scarves and other accessories including a customer order.  Tomorrow I will move onto candle making and the stall is beginning to take shape.

I did make three cups of tea that I then forgot about them and I also stubbed my toes on numerous pieces of furniture but these are not surprises to me.  It takes a while for things to return to normal and so my elderflower cordial and strawberry jam dropped off the list but I think I will survive.  But I had enough movement to do a little jig when a favourite tune came on so I can't be that bad.  I am trying to perfect my bad dancing for when we meet Molly's man later in the summer.  I am quite sure she would love me to show him my moves....

I have a structure for my stress busting manifesto and I appear to have generated quite a bit of interest in it along the way as well.  Now all I have to do is put it together and then get it online.  I do have quite a bit of writing to do while on the Isle of Eigg in a few weeks time but I also have lots of time.  So, I will be taking all my ideas with me and hope to publish soon after.  It seems to me that writing a stress busting manifesto from the isle of Eigg might set just the right tone. 

Sometimes I get myself in a pickle and this often happens when I have had a relapse.  It is as if I lose my sense of judgement.  I am fortunate that I have a lovely family and lots of lovely friends who sort me out.  Today one of my friends rescued some of my thinking and I am so grateful.  I am an extremely positive person but this illness makes me more tired than words could ever describe.  When I get this tired some of my decisions head off in the wrong direction and then I get a bit lost.  My friend found me feeling a bit lost and set me back on the right track again.  Friendship is a massively important part of life and often under-estimated.  My take on friendship will feature in my stress busting manifesto and so it should.  I am blessed with so many lovely friends and I do hope I never take any of them for granted.  If I did I would expect them to yell at me. 

I see friendship in different places and my studies in Buddhism have taught me an enormous amount about the importance of other people.  I work really hard to limit any impact that my ego might have and I spend some time each and every day thinking about the needs of someone else.  It has been a tough few weeks for some of my friends and I think I have been acutely aware of that.  Sometimes you just want to take the pain away but you know you can't.  That has been my experience of late so I got myself in a pickle and then another friend came along and sorted me out.  I think this is what makes the world go around.

I am, without doubt, my cat's best friend.  When she lies down next to me she puts a paw on me and then she feels connected.  Only then will she go into a deep sleep.  I need to take note.

Until tomorrow. xx