Day 304 - Creeping up on me. xx

Thursday 31st October

How did Halloween creep up without me noticing.  Giddy aunt!  Still nothing like a bit of immediacy for a seasoned Halloween Mum to get herself in gear. Over the years we have collected all sorts of horrid decorations so two hours later and the dining room looks like a cross between a spider's web and a hangout for all things spooky. This year we wanted to help the village hall party for the primary children so our baking was mostly for them.  George and I baked 60 cupcakes and iced them read for the party tomorrow and as I write Max is carving our pumpkin which can also be donated after we have used it tonight. 

I have lots of little games prepared and I do enjoy them all squirming!   My favourite is the forfeit game inside a balloon.  First they have to pop the balloon by sitting on it then they have to do the forfeit.  There are some shockers in there.... Every year we have a contest to see who can make the best mummy.  Using toilet roll one person wraps their partner up as a mummy.  Harry wins every year regardless of what team he is on but there is a bit of a twist this year and I can hear Harry objecting already. 



The goodie bags are also ready even though I say that I am stopping that the following year.  The sparklers are also ready as we don't do bonfire night because it scares the animals. I am thinking it is just the food to do and yet another Halloween party will roll out of the yard. 



Despite lots of boats not sailing (due to adverse weather) Molly's Halloween parcel managed to arrive in time.  We included a cake making gift so she is merrily baking away down in Lincoln.  It has been shocking weather the past few days and I am rather nervous about the conditions next week when I need to get off the island.  This is the downside of living on an island but I must make it to Paul's memorial somehow.  I may even have to go a day early and book into a hotel - very annoying!

Whenever I plan to leave the island there is so much to do so I am made busy getting everything and everyone organised.  I am so looking forward to seeing Molly and spending some time together in London.  We do have her masters application to get sorted so it is not a complete jolly. 

I completely forget to thank readers for their emails about my piece on egos.  You can blame being stuck in bed poorly for that piece.  Not much to say when you have spent the day in bed so I used the opportunity to talk about something else.  I have had some really interesting and engaging chats about egos in with some of you and I am grateful for your considerations.  The most common note from you guys was that we all know plenty of people who have obese egos and we know far less with lean egos.  I am quite sure that I should be the other way round.  I do have people in my life that will talk only of themselves if I let the conversation drift that way but I do try and make gentle interventions to get them thinking about others.  It is so refreshing not to focus on yourself and I think self obsession is a bad habit that is quite easily adopted.  I always tell Pete to shout at me if I end up going down that route.  I much prefer to be thinking of the needs of others because it is far more engaging and uplifting.  I am a very solution orientated person but it is important that you don't offer up solutions where they are not welcome. 

I learnt that the hard way when I was just 18.  I was working part time in a warehouse while studying and an elderly gentleman was in the team.  He would pass me in the aisles looking confused to where to find things so I would just tell him where to look.  I did it far too often.  The supervisor called me in to her office to tell me that I was becoming very annoying and this was leading to his frustration.  How bad did I feel?  I was too young to understand that not everyone wants to be helped and, even if they do, you have to sensitive about it.  With every person the experience is different so I don't think we ever stop learning how to help effectively. 

Some of my close friends get cross with me from time to time and insist  that I stop thinking about others and look after myself.  It is, of course, sensible advice and that is what good friends are for.  They will always tell it how it is.  That said, I think that living with a chronic illness makes you see the world differently.  Focusing on myself leads to registering far more pain and fatigue than if I busy myself with helping others and generally keep busy.  So I could just be being very selfish!  'Tis food for thought....'

I am off to make sure Max has not sliced his fingers off and get the supper organised and then let the fun begin.  Wishing you the spookiness of nights - is that a word?

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 303 - Her passion and knowledge shone through. xx

Wednesday 30th October

My goodness this is going to have to be short for fear that my brain might just explode.  I have just spent the afternoon with the lovely Mollie working on her UCAS personal statement as part of her university application.  I have lost count of the number of young people I have helped over the years but I always consider it such a privilege to be asked.  University land remains my 'home town' despite all the other things I have done in my life.  I recognise that it has its own language and cultural expression but I also know these can be very intimidating to a 17 year old and I am therefore only too pleased to be able to help. 

Mollie is applying to take film studies at a range of universities so she is in a similar area to my focus that was performing arts.  I understand film as an art form but I didn't need to because Mollie really understands film.  Listening to her talk about the use of film as a form of communication capable of limitless intervention was completely thrilling.  Hearing the passion but fusing that with her obvious knowledge was deeply convincing.  One the whole I do find young people know what they are talking about.  They have a unique view on the world that I find incredibly inspiring.  I am just not always convinced they have the right platforms to speak from.  Too many older people believe that they know better and I think that is a huge mistake.  There is no doubt that with age comes experience but it can also bring scepticism.  The young aren't damage by that outlook and see the possibilities not the problems. 

I have spoken before about the challenges facing our young people at this time.  With such high youth unemployment we simply must be doing something wrong.  I can't bear to think of young people disillusioned and feeling low worth but I know some do.  I am a firm believer in having a purpose that reflects your passion.  I can remember when Molly was at school and voiced her interest in animals and this was met with 'so you want to be a vet then?'  A distinct and very real lack of imagination and I was just pleased that we could work with Molly to outline more options.  There is a place for everyone in life but I do believe that lots of young people need help identifying where that place might be and how they might get there. 

So, my job was to listen to Mollie as she shared with me her passion, understanding and intention and then help her translate that into the language that appeals to university lecturers.  In my experience universities can be very precious places and they do love their words.  They can spend hours over selecting just the right word and are fiercely protection over what makes their course different from the rest.  Now put that alongside an application process that requires you to write one application to fit five different courses.  You see the problem.  That said where there is a will there is a way and if we had one thing in that room today it was a 'will'. 

Over the years I will have read thousands and thousands of UCAS personal statements and sadly they are nearly all the same.  That is because there is a formula that UCAS, universities and schools put out there and everyone sticks to it.  We stuck to it as well but we added Mollie's USP to the process and suddenly it took on a whole new life.  Trust me, there is a paragraph in the middle of her statement that will make even the most disinterested lecturer wake up and take note.  That paragraph was created by Mollie as a viewfinder to how she sees sensationalism in the media and her response to that.  No-one else could ever write that paragraph because this is all about her and how she makes sense of everything and I could not be more proud of her right now. 

I have absolutely no doubt that all Scottish island mum readers will come together to wish Mollie every success with her application.  She knows she is entering a highly competitive field so we spent some time looking at all her choices and reminding her that wherever she ends up will be fabulous because she will make it so. 

The morning was spent with her Mum who runs the village newsagent and gift shop.  The shop is in the middle of a major revamp so I was lending a hand with display and such like.  So Bev and I had a lovely time playing with colour, texture, form and selling power.  Wonderful. 

Wednesday is disappearing and I have still to get my last module of Meditation through Writing course off my ipad and into the students' inboxes so must dash or they will think I have forgotten about them.  If there is no rest for the wicked I am extremely wicked. 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 302 - Time for an ego detox?

Tuesday 29th October

Just for a short while I want to dwell on egos.  Of late I think this has become an ugly word and I think this may be an injustice.  An ego is part of who we are and how we present ourselves to the world.  It is a part of us that we can't ignore and, when in balance, our ego is a blessing.  I have stumbled across several articles that have spoken of egos as things that get in the way of a compassionate life and I think they both misunderstand the purpose of an ego. 

My ego shapes what I believe myself to be capable of and it stretches out my identity to meet others as they cross my path.  It is true that if my ego is overfed it quickly becomes too big for its boots and it needs a quick detox.  I detox my ego on a regular basis and this is best achieved by parking it up and starving it for a while.  When it has concluded its detox it emerges as a much leaner being and capable of interacting with the world in a thoughtful and reflective manner. 

Buddhism challenges our notion of ego and is keen to park it up permanently but I have always struggled with that.  If our ego is allowed to grow too large and take up too much space and time in our sense of being that will, inevitably, present a problem.  We will see ourselves as more important than other beings and that is a dangerous outlook to have.  I believe that, if fed correctly, our ego can serve us well as it builds our identity and our confidence in who we are and what we might contribute to the world.  The clue is in the second part of the previous sentence.  'It is what we might contribute to the world' that allows our ego to be kept in check and in a place that is at peace with the world. 

I can spot an inflated ego at a hundred metres as it thrashes about the place informing the world of its existence.  The sense of being equal is in the shadow of a rising ego that knows no boundaries.  Even simple communications revolve around that ego while other dimensions of being are blocked out by the sheer size and weight of the beast.  Empathy is one of our greatest gifts as a creature of this world but it stands no chance against an obese ego.  It is impossible to see the world from other people's perspectives if the view is blocked by a rather large and self satisfying ego. 

I think perhaps all of us have been guilty at one time or another of feeding someone else's ego and that has usually back-fired on us as that person becomes harder to like.  There are also those people who need their ego to be fed as often as possible and they are the most dangerous of us all.  We must resist the temptation to feed their ego in the hope that starvation will become its saviour. 

Every single day I go through a small ego detox just as some of you might pray every day.  I look within and consider how my ego has handled the day and ask to what extent has it served the needs of others?  I don't always get the answers I am looking for but this just strengthens my resolve to try harder the next day.  I might be slightly out of step with a life long philosophy that I hold very dear but I am confident that I could offer a  robust defence of my interpretation should the Dalai Lama ever fancy a chat. 

Max asked me recently - 'if you could have one wish what would it be?'  I smiled inside and out as I knew the answer immediately... 'that we could all learn to keep our egos in their rightful place by resisting the need to over-feed them'.

Imagine a world like that......

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 301 - Gingham reindeer & chimps that jig. xx

Monday 28th October

It can rain on this small island and it seems to have been raining for days.  With the rain comes the darkness and you know winter is on its way.  Lots of my friends and family struggle with the darkness but I like it.  It feels like a cocoon in which to escape for a few months.  I do some of my best thinking in the darkness of the winter months which is just as well as I have a lot of thinking to do this coming winter. 

My new site One soul many hearts has been so well received that contributions are starting to come in on a daily basis so I must work out a better system of dealing with them.  I can't resist opening the files to look at the photo or read the words and then all is abandoned why I am taken somewhere else by the inspirational offerings.  This needs to be resisted though because it is very distracting and my working day is very confused!  I am going to organise my time much better and make a time of the week to respond to all who contribute something in that week.  As the interest in the site grows so do my plans for where I might take it in the future and they need serious reigning in!  I could make this site a full time occupation in a heart beat but it will need to grow more slowly than that.  I am very close to announcing One soul many hearts very first 'Ambassador.'  This is a key role as it will ensure that the site is being promoted by a person who really understand what One soul many hearts is all about.  It requires at least a 12 month commitment and there will only ever be 3 ambassadors at any one time.  That allows the four of us to work closely in the best interest of the site.  In return for this commitment One soul many hearts will support the ambassador's projects.  Ideally the ambassador will already run their own business but also be involved in charitable projects as well.  I hope it will be a rewarding role and I very much look forward to announcing our first Ambassador soon.  

Our first newsletter may only just have gone out but Robyn and I are already working on the  next one.  Robyn has researched some lovely recipes and Christmas projects so the next newsletter promises to be a really good read.  I am a life long fan of the Country Living magazine but I was so disappointed by their new December issue as it is crammed full of adverts and little else.  I want One soul many hearts to make a response to that by doing the opposite and cramming our publication full of content that will delight and beg to be shared.  If you have a good recipe or project to share do get in touch.  Subscription to the newsletter is growing at a steady pace which is pleasing.  I am advised by my chimps that mail that the industry standard is less then 30% of people receiving a newsletter actually open it.  I have just been on my chimp site and they are all most excited to share a 100% open rate with a 45% click rate on the links supplied in the newsletter.  How chuffed are we?  I am currently teaching my chimps to jig. 

Scottish island mum has quite a lot on her plate as well and I seem to have started something with my West Highland Way walk project.  I have both real and spiritual walkers expressing interest and I do think this is going to be a project that we will all remember for some time.  I am ploughing through the various options for a charity to raise funds for and this is a slow process which can't be rushed.  It will take as long as it takes but I will know when I have found it; I always know. 

Beyond all that the day to day making for this year's Christmas collection continues and I am liking the homespun feel this year offers.  My boxes are getting quite full now and I certainly have enough for the first fair in the middle of November but there are two more fairs after that and the shop in the village to stock so lots more making to be done. 




I am also starting my creative planning for our 2014 range and I can feel a slight change in direction.  Less will most definitely have to be more if I am going to have enough time to work on developing our cut flower and willow business.  I am opening my books for small weddings from June 2014 and it would never do to disappoint a bride!  I am off to the flower market in Glasgow in the next couple of weeks to discuss options with them as I won't be in a position of providing 100% of the  flowers next season.  The aim is to provide as many of the primary and secondary blooms as possible but all the herbs and greenery.  The plan is to increase yield every year as demand strengthens.  The only courses I will run next year are bespoke courses on request so that should free up some time. 

The boys are busy with Halloween work books that has become a family tradition with prizes given out at our family Halloween evening on Thursday.  Molly's Halloween box is on its way to Lincoln but, as usual, we shall miss her.  I am away most of next week down south for Paul's memorial and then to London to meet Molly to celebrate her 21st birthday. 

George has planned his cakes as he is making  cakes for the primary children in the village for their Halloween party on Friday and tomorrow he is making his first chicken and mushroom pie from scratch.  So the house is full of activity - just the way I like it.

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 300 - 300 days of blogging. xx

Sunday 27th October

I feel a growing sense of unease as I track this storm that is almost upon parts of the UK.  I have many friends who live in the south and my thoughts are with them as they prepare to be battered by huge winds.  It is usually the Scottish isles that are caught in the paths of autumn storms but this time it is our English neighbours that stand in the way.  Facebook is telling me that the winds are increasing so I am watching and waiting along with everyone else. 

Mother Nature has a way of asserting herself at this time of year and our autumn storms can be the worst of the year.  As islanders we are always weather watching for disruptions to our ferry crossing and it makes for an interesting life.  I have always refused to see the ferries as the life blood of the island and I think that is what motivates us to grow some of our food.  I also believe in keeping a good store cupboard and we taught all our children how to bake their own bread.  Perhaps we have to think slightly differently than people who live on the mainland.  That said I watched a programme this week about a family who live in the Scottish highlands on a croft that has no mains electricity.  Their lives looked challenged on a daily basis and I am not sure I could cope with that.  I did, however, love the isolated valley that they lived in....

Our smallholding is now moving into its development stage as we prepare for next year.  Our priorities are much clearer now so we now need to extend our potential as a supplier for cut flowers.  We are about the clear all our beds of the last of the annual crops so that we can mulch with seaweed for the winter months.  This will feed our soil as it rots down using the natural rhythm of frosts and warmer periods.  We also use seaweed mulch around her perennials after a fairly hard cut back.  We also fleece our less hardy crops when we know a hard frost or snow is on its way. 

Beyond that Pete will be building more raised beds ready for new crops for next year.  I spend the next few months researching varieties to ensure I only grow varieties that can thrive on the island.   Our first willow crop took really well so will be taking cuttings to plant another 200 trees early in the new year.  I love the fact that we planted different colours of willow because it opens up the options for their use.  I need to spend some time researching where this might take us in the future.  That is a good way to spend a winter. 

Today has been devoted to writing the final module for my Meditation through Writing online course.  It has been a real journey the past few months working with students as they develop their meditation and extend their writing voices.  It has felt like such a privilege and I shall miss the regular contact with them.  Many of the students have gone on to publish their writing in one place or another including One soul many hearts.  I am pleased that I have been able to offer a platform for publishing their work as it is so important to receive feedback.  It is this feedback that develops your writing.  This final module tests the students as they extend their meditations into longer and more deeply penetrating explorations.  Our inner minds are a labyrinth of experiences that are largely untapped and meditation is capable of reaching these.  Combining it with writing allows you to hold onto these explorations and make greater sense of them.  Overall, I am thrilled with the first running of the course and I have a growing list of interested people for the next delivery in the new year.  I will have to place a limit on numbers so that I can support the students so if you are thinking about it let me know and I can make sure you get first refusal. 

 

It felt good to get the first newsletter published from One soul many hearts as it has been a steep learning curve working with the little chimps that mail!  I love that their graphics are such friendly little chimps as this makes you feel even more inadequate when you can't navigate yourself successfully through the programme....  But, with a bit of determination, our shiny new newsletter went out on time and we have already started work on our next one.  This one will take us up to Christmas and promises to be jam packed with lovely things. 

Scottish island mum will benefit from the many hours spent with chimps who mail as she will be issuing newsletters from 2014 onwards.  She will have a much easier ride. 

I am ending noting that we appear to have reached day 300.  Important to say thank you. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 299 - A day to reflect but also to look forward. xx

Saturday 26th October

Gosh winter seems to have arrived with a very cold wind and driving rain.  I was hoping for sunshine as we say our goodbyes to Connor.  It seems that the whole island is involved in his day today.  If you weren't at the funeral you were covering the work of people who were and that is how the island works.  We decided to stay together as a family today and cover the work of someone who wanted to be at the funeral as well as doing our scheduled work.  The boys and Pete have taken on a very large prestigious house to clean on a Saturday for new guests arriving later in the day.  I am sort of supervisor but I always end up doing more than that and today the pressure was on as we had a second house to get ready in order for that housekeeper to make it across the island to Connor's funeral.  Working hard and staying together felt the best thing for us and I think it helped Harry get through the day. 

I am snuggled under my blanket with kitten on lap and fire on and I still feel frozen.  My body is not in a happy place at the moment and I can't seem to stay warm.  As soon as the cold sets in the pain levels rise so you see the problem.  A recent poor health review has made us all address a number of issues as a family.  One of the most important for me is a determination to keep moving as long as possible and that includes unaided walking.  With that firmly in the front of my mind we have decided to bring forward a long held ambition to walk the West Highland Way which is approximately 100 miles of captivating trails and countryside. 

The original plan was to walk it over a 14 day period with a couple of rest days but I have to be realistic and that is now not possible.  The danger is if I wait too long it won't be possible at all.  So, after discussion in the family, we have decided to go for a tag team approach where the baton is passed along a line of walkers until the whole journey is complete.  We always had it in mind as a charity project and by involving others we can raise more money as well as raising the profile of the charity.  We haven't decided the charity as yet but research is underway and we will be announcing that decision as soon as possible. 

The plan is to aim for the walk in early autumn 2014 and to involve as many people in the project as possible.  That gives us a year to plan and raise the profile of the walk before we actually do the walking.  We want to use the walk as a source of creative work using art, photography and writing to draw attention to what we are attempting to do.  We also want to think how this work might be shared beyond the project and we have some ideas brewing for that as well.

So, Scottish island mum puts out a gentle call of support on facebook last night and we were overwhelmed with the responses.  So many people want to help that the project becomes immediately feasible.   So now the planning needs to begin and I need to step up my training through the winter.  As you know I do a decent walk once a week already but I am going to double that during the winter before increasing it further in the spring and summer of 2014.  I am grateful for my walking partners most of whom will be joining me on the West Highland Walk. 

If any of you would like to get involved do let me know.  We will need people to help with the logistics of the walk with cars to move people around and we need lots of writers and artists etc as well.  We will also need people to help promote the project that will feature on both Scottish island mum and One soul many hearts website.  We are already keen to announce the feature of 'spiritual walkers' who are people who can't do the walk but want to walk alongside one of the walkers in spirit.  That means for every person who actually walks it is, effectively, two people.  Those partnerships will then work together to fundraise as hard as they can and to also spread the world.  I have already secured my spiritual walking partner because Lisa lives in Canada.  She is one of our photographers on the One soul many hearts team and she will be able to promote the project with her Canadian friends.....you begin to see the value of the spiritual walkers. 

I can not say how much of it I will be able to do but I don't want this to be about that.  If someone can walk just half a mile that is just as valuable as others who might manage 10 miles.  I will just walk as far as I can and that is all I can say on that front. 

I am off to jump about to try and get warm but do drop me a message if you would like to be involved in our charity project.  This one promises to be very special indeed. 

Photograph provided by David & words by Dawn

I am ending by sending all the love and blessings I can muster to the family of Connor.  I know that you are so proud of all his wonderful achievements and we share in that pride.  Connor will always have a special place in all our hearts.  xxxxxxx

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 298 - Reindeer, ribbons and special people. xx

Friday 25th October

I do like a good Friday and although not much has been achieved I have had a lovely day.  I had a flower order to start the day and I am sure that is my personal calling. I should start every day creating with flowers.  If I could work with flowers in the morning, write in the afternoon and sew in the evening I think I would have found my perfect day. 

When you work with flowers you are acutely aware of the seasons as colours change as you pass through the year.  We are beginning to move away from the bright oranges and into the deep reds contrasted with ivory that beckons the beginning of winter flowers and foliage.  Although the order was for a tea cup arrangement it still takes quite a bit of time.  I find that the smaller arrangements often take longer than the larger.  The attention to detail is enhanced as you know the eye is settling on a smaller area.  It is also fiddly work but I am quite sure the tea cup arrangement will remain my signature piece for the rest of time.  Knowing  I was meeting a relatively new friend later in the day meant that I took the opportunity to create one for her as well. 

While I was working away I was listening to the growing excitement coming from the next room as the boys are working with Pete on electricity and travelling sound.  Lots of little experiments and lots of fun was being had and you just know that lots of learning was happening too.  There is a tendency in school to make the children record everything they do in science and I think that sometimes takes the joy out of science.  In our home school science is where the magic happens and it is a voyage of discovery.  I wish I had been taught science by Pete because he makes it come alive and the whole experience is memorable. 

This afternoon it was a girly social at the Douglas hotel in Brodick so that the gang would meet Kathy.  They all know her from a shared group on facebook so it was lovely to meet up face-to-face.  There were some creative women round that table so lots of ideas were flying around.  It is important to have time to bounce ideas around and swap notes so it was a really lovely afternoon and Kathy is fully fledged into our little group. 

Inspired by my flower work this morning I have started to plan my Christmas flower arrangements for our home.  Christmas is a big deal in our family and the Christmas table is a joy to work on and always makes the centre of our day.   Reindeer is our Christmas theme this year and we are going to attempt to make our own reindeers using wire.  I am thinking that one of them could take centre stage on the table and be surrounded by the floral wreath made with holly, rosemary, berries and deep red roses.  I could then continue those choices in all the arrangements in the house.  I always have plenty of flowers at this time of year because I am busy with orders.  I found a new holly bush up the track that runs alongside the smallholding so I have plenty of scope this year.  I always do a Christmas floral swag around the fireplace and I used to do one on the bannister on the stairs but have been a bit lazy the last couple of years.  I am ahead this year having dried so much from the hedgerows so there is really no excuse. 

Many thanks for all you lovely emails about your favourites bits from Scottish island mum thus far this year.  It would seem that my visit to the Isle of Eigg was favourite with a lot of you so my instincts were right.  Beyond that some of the creative projects that I have been involved with were very popular too as well as my work with the butterfly tree.  It has provided me with great feedback ahead of the restructuring of the site and I am hugely grateful.  Still lots of time to share your view if you haven't had time yet.  Just drop me an email anytime. 

I am off to find my sketch book to design my Christmas flowers while I am inspired.  I can't remember where my sketch book is and my house has not officially disappeared under Christmas ribbons, buttons and fabric so I may be sometime......

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 297 - She sulked all evening. xx

Thursday 24th October

It is a proper little production line now with fabric trees, hearts and pillows all in various stages of completion.  The Christmas collection seems to have got as far as homespun red and stopped so if customers don't like that look they won't be buying from me.  I, of course, love it and therefore can't seem to move beyond it.  The combination of the hessian and the red homespun fabric is working so well I think I will stay in that area and just order some more fabric.  My wooden fruit boxes are slowly being filled up with stock as Christmas comes early to Hazelbank.  Next is the nutmeg and dried fruit hangings and wreaths before another batch of candles.  I hate getting stuck with Christmas stock and all I have left from last year is a few pincushion mice so I got it pretty right last year.  This year, however, we have added an additional event so we are in unknown territory again.  We shall have to wait and see how we go. 

In the middle of all this drops an email from a small publishing company who would like to 'explore' the possibility of publishing some of the body of work that is Scottish island mum 2013.  Asking me all sorts of questions - not least what are my favourite blog posts from the year.  I have absolutely no idea and I certainly don't have time to start reading back to the start now.  Isn't it funny how we could probably all pinpoint the sad posts quite easily...

I have promised to give their questions some serious thought but have just not said when.  I wonder if any of you could help with this task though and I would certainly be fascinated to see the results.  Let's not worry about identifying specific blog posts but if any of you could tell me your favourite bits from the year so far I would be ETERNALLY grateful!  I know my visit to Eigg is right up there for me but that might not have crossed over into interesting blog posts.  Any thoughts you have would be so helpful. 

I do want to do something with this body of work but I also want to finish the project first and we still have a way to go yet.  November and December are always the two busiest months of my year so I am sure there will be some dramas to capture yet. 

Scottish island mum has a whole bunch of new American readers so I do want to say a special 'hello' to them.  You have come via One soul many hearts and I am not sure I anticipated that so many would cross over but you are all most welcome.  This is the site of my personal blog which is part of a year long challenge to blog every day.  We get up to all sorts here and some of my readers have been with me since day 1.  When I have some decent time I will read from the beginning again as it will be fascinating to see if my life is what I think it is.  We all have a sense of who we are and the life we inhabit but this project will see just how close my views are to reality. 

Scottish island mum has a Pinterest board that shares some of my favourite photographs from the project so far and it is a bit of a memory board for me and probably some of my readers.  It does illustrate, quite well, just how much we do in a year and how many experiences we have.  The board also serves to remind me just how beautiful the island is.  Of course I could do with Lisa or David visiting to take proper photographs.  They are the photographers on the One soul many hearts team and people are just loving their work. 

After much deliberation and discussion I have decided to end this project on December 31st before bringing Scottish island mum back in a new lifestyle format on a new site as soon as I can in 2014.  I need some time to do this work properly and there is just no time left in 2013.  In the meantime I hope readers will pop across to One soul many hearts to keep up with all the new offerings on that site.  I will use the facebook page of Scottish island mum to keep you all up to date with the restructuring job and likely dates of it being ready. 

So this week has been a constant juggle between making our Christmas collection and writing assignments sprinkled with editorial work.  I have discovered that my kitten adores the sewing machine and now sleeps curled up right next to it - she likes the noise and the vibration.  She also likes to curl up in my button basket and I have to lift her up to find the buttons I need.  She looked at me really strangely yesterday when I came home from the hairdressers and she sulked most of the evening because I was gone from the house for too long.  If you ever thought that Scottish island mum rules her household you would be very much mistaken.  Mimi rules all of us all of the time.

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 296 - Everything just had to stop. xx

Wednesday 23rd October

It is important to take your chances with the weather when you live on a small island and yesterday afternoon the sun came out for a short while.  Lately life has just got busier and busier and so we decided that everything had to stop for a while.  A last visit to the Castle for the year beckoned so see the autumn colours so Pete and I headed out with the boys. 

I would describe it more of a wander than a walk but it was still refreshing to be outside after days of almost constant rain.  We were not disappointed with the colour show as autumn has well and truly taken hold of the Castle grounds.  You know that these colours are not going to last long so it is important to savour this time.  Soon the leaves will be a distant memory and the visual gallery will be of sculptured trees as they hibernate for the winter.  Winter is, by far, my favourite season and I like nothing better than a walk around the smallholding when the frost has taken hold.  I use my winters to plan the rest of the year but I also take stock of where I am and that is so important too.

The wildlife garden at the castle was already in winter mode with its various support strategies for the wildlife.  The solitary bee homes were so good to see and so easy to achieve.  Cut up bamboo canes stuff into a bucket and hung in a tree.  I must admit that I fill any empty space with hay for additional warmth.  Our solitary bee home as been ready for sometime.  Bird feeding was also evident in the wildlife garden and we really need to get on with that.  In the winter the various cats on the property don't venture out much so this year I want to set up a bird feeding station on the steps of my studio.  We make our own bird set cakes and that keeps them going along with the peanuts.  We have a young Robin on the property who has decided that Hazelbank will be its home for the time being.  We do love the Robins as they are so seasonal but they can be real bullies when it comes to the other birds. 

I was reading about the plans for the redevelopment of the Castle and I saw some mention of sustainable strategies as it related to energy use but not specifically the grounds.  The National Trust have the space to grow their own plants instead of shipping them across on the ferry.  There is a lot of tree felling and ground clearing going on and you do sense a plan but it is not easy to see what it is.  We were once tenant farmers on the Chatsworth Estate in Derbyshire and when we visited the house and gardens I would disappear off to check out their kitchen garden and cut flower borders.  I learnt most of my companion planting from those gardeners.  I do wish the National Trust would look into the sustainability of the grounds as well as the building and if they fail to do that they are certainly missing an opportunity.  I would like to see the wildlife garden extended and developed so that it might become a living classroom where course can be run and school children can visit.  The ranger centre is right there so the potential is enormous.  People often make the mistake of assuming that wildlife gardens are low maintenance and that is not the case.  They need to be carefully managed to keep the correct balance of habitats to service the greatest range of species.  I will be watching the developments of the Castle grounds with interest and I hope to be able to report better news. 

Today has been a delight as I finally got to meet one of the most loyal supporters of Scottish island mum.  Kathy reads this blog most days and tends to know more about my life than I do.  She runs the most enchanting wedding stationery business from her home in Helensburgh.  Although it was our first face to face meeting I feel like I have known her for years and we chatted and chatted and chatted... Kathy has done some writing for One soul many hearts which I hope to get up in the next week or so.  Something tells me that Kathy is going to be important in my life. 

I then finally got to the hairdressers.  It has been more months than I care to reflect on but Shirley has waved her magic wand and all is well with the world.  I now feel that I can leave the island and re-enter civilisation.  I also feel that I can attend Paul's memorial service without looking like some mad hippy from a small Scottish island.  Of course you feel marvellous when you come out of the hairdressers and try not to reflect on the fact that within 24 hours your hair will look completely different.  I just hang onto that marvellous feeling as long as possible. 

So, now it is time to try and catch up with all the new emails I have received particularly from American readers after One soul many hearts was recommended on Waverly Fitzgerald's newsletter.  Such kind comments have come in and I do try really hard to reply to everyone individually.  One soul many hearts will be issuing its own newsletter at the end of this week so you still have time to subscribe by entering your email address into the box in the sidebar to the right.  With 4,500 page views already this brand new site is punching way above its weight.  Last night I published the most fascinating true story written by Annie on the Towards Wellbeing page.  If you have some time pop over and have a read. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 295 - New ways to preserve.....xx

Tuesday 22nd October

I am passionate about preserving summer and autumn harvests to see us through the winter.  I have made my own pickles, jams and jellies for years but this year I have tried to look more widely at preserving.  Preserving speaks to frugal living but it also appeals to me as I have grown most of the produce so I know what we are eating.  I plan for gluts just so I can preserve as much as possible and I absolutely hate waste.  On one soul many hearts I wrote a piece about free food taken from the hedgerows and I am now turning my attention to fridge freezers.  We probably all have a fridge freezer but do we underuse it?  I most certainly do. 

I am not negating the fact that fridge freezers cost money to buy and run but if you purchase wisely you can get one with a good energy rating and a low carbon footprint.  It is important to maintain your fridge freezer well in order for it to run efficiently.  This article can point you in the right direction of how best to achieve that. 

 

 

My focus is on what we can put in them, especially our freezer.  I need to move beyond just using it for batch cooking and saving leftovers.  I have successfully preserved berries for years in my freezer by first freezing them on a tray before bagging them to use in deserts and baking throughout the winter.  I didn't know that you can use the same technique with cherry tomatoes and that is much better than having to find time to turn your tomatoes into a sauce before freezing. 

We grow a lot of herbs on the smallholding and dry many of them.  I do clip leggy parsley and freeze it ready to be crumbled into stews and soups in the winter.  I did not know that you can also freeze basil.   If you just cut it and freeze it it will turn to mush so you first need to blanch it in boiling water, let it cool and then freeze it in ice cube trays.  These can then be added to soups and saucers as required. 

Blanching is an excellent way to start the preserving process on lots of vegetables. The process stops enzyme action when the vegetables are frozen, effectively suspending them in time.  The pick your own organisation site will provide all the guidance you need on this process.  Essentially, blanching slows or stops enzymes action and therefore suspends the food ready for you to put in your freezer.  Importantly, this suspension helps to preserve the essential vitamins and minerals contained within the food.  

 

I love it when I find a new way to do things and this year I have discovered freezer jam.  You obviously need plastic jars rather than glass to go in your freezer but the process is really easy. You can read about the whole process here.   With Halloween approaching we will all be awash with pumpkin.  I am wondering how many of us just through away the inside pulp after the children have created their masterpiece?  I am guilty as charged but things are going to be different this year.  Two things are going to happen.  I am going to make pumpkin paste and put it in my fridge to use in the next day or so and I am also going to get to the pumpkin before the children and cut out the middle section before they start hacking.  I will then remove the seeds before chopping this section into cubes, putting them in a freezer bag and placing in my freezer.  The frugal side of me is also going to dry the seeds for use next year.  Suddenly we have a waste free pumpkin.   

 

So Scottish island mum has big plans for her fridge freezer moving forward and I will keep you posted on my progress.  As this daily blog moves into 2014 it will become a fully functional lifestyle blog where you can access all sorts of ideas and projects to make for a more fulfilling life.  In 2013 I have pushed quite hard on my frugal button but I am quite determined to really stamp on it next year.  The price of food is increasing at a shocking rate and we have it especially hard living on an island where additional costs of transporting the food on the ferry are added on to the price we pay.  I need to continually find new ways to grow more and preserve more and that strategy also allows me to know where the food has come from.

 

 

If I am honest I probably need to make some changes to some of my equipment as well.  For example the energy rating of a fridge freezer is not only important for the environment for our purses as well.  My mother has become quite obsessed about the cost of energy and is tackling this head on by changing some of her key equipment for newer version that use far less energy.  All good retailers selling fridge freezers will share the energy rating including the output figure per year.  These are the things to pay special attention to.  Living a more sustainable life needs to take full account of the modern world and what options are available to us. 

 

If Scottish island mum gets the bit between her teeth in preserving using her freezer she can reward her self with a new fridge freezer as part of her cost cutting strategy.  Sustainable living is not just about saving it is also about spending less.  If you have any preserving recipes using your fridge freezer I would love to receive them and share them as widely as possible.  I am off to hoover the back of my fridge freezer!

 

Until tomorrow.  xx

 

Day 294 - So much to tell you. xx

Monday 21st October

Our little island is getting quite soggy now and I am rather concerned that we might sink.  The sogginess has combined with English half term and Brodick was heaving with tourists.  They were all in the shops and the cafes to get out of the rain.  I do hope the weather improves for their week here.  It is not much fun having small children on holiday in the rain. 

Skimmia Japonica - perfect for wreaths

Today has been a typical Monday with home school in the morning followed by lots of domestic jobs that are neglected over the weekend.  I do like a good Monday and today was made all the better by receiving a lovely email from Waverly Fitzgerald.  She has just published my piece of wreath making on her site Living in Season so there was a gentle but definite jig to start the week.  I engage in a range of crafts but nothing gets me more excited than wreath making and they are not just for Christmas.  But if you are considering doing a Christmas wreath there is lots you can do now to prepare.  The hedgerows are full of glorious things that can be dried in readiness for attaching.  I will be doing a piece on making Christmas wreaths on my new site One soul many hearts and will let you know when it is live. 

So, the writing continues to move forward and I am just so incredibly pleased.  I have lots of pieces due this week so it will be another week of juggling writing, Christmas stock making and home school.  That said I am having a bit of a sabbatical for the rest of the week with home school to give Pete the chance to continue with his science and maths work.  Next week the boys and I begin studying the cold war.  It is not something I have studied before so we shall all be learning at the same time.  Modern history is such an important part of education and the boys have not got excellent skills in interrogating historical evidence so the time is right to tackle such a tricky period in history. 

We had a 'word' morning today where we worked through the next bit on their respective spelling lists before playing word games.  I could hardly pronounce the words on George's list let alone spell them and he found that particularly amusing.  I am never happier than when one of the children demonstrates that they have moved beyond me.  It is happening a lot more now that they are older and it is the natural order of things.

Photographs from Helen Le, David Newell & Lisa Valancius.

I am becoming quietly obsessed with good photography at the moment and I blame the readers of One soul many hearts for this because the Contemplative Photography page is drawing a huge amount of interest.  I also blame the rewilding challenge that I did in October because the facebook group included some stunning shots.  For me though it is all in the seeing.  A good photographer can see and capture images that the rest of us walk right passed.  We all love David and Lisa's photographs as our resident photographers on One soul many hearts but I also love Bridget Mackenzie's work and this is her flickr account.  I love her photos taken in the natural world.  So, I can now be found lurking on people's facebook pages and flickr accounts hunting for the perfect images for the site.  This is slowly being supported by others submitting photos for the site and this is, ultimately, the way I want it to go.  Just a reminder that in November we are running a rolling showcase of photos that make in a response to the theme 'Keeping it real.'  Some amazing images are beginning to come in but there is plenty of room for more. 

Last night I posted our second piece of inspirational writing and this piece lit up the night sky as the site went bonkers.  Bravery comes in many forms but this story speaks of bravery from and through the heart and it was incredibly well received.  The author has used the writing of this piece to help close a door that has needed to be closed for sometime.  One soul many hearts was very proud to be able to share it.  I would just remind readers that notifications of new material are published on the blogs facebook page so you might want to pay it a visit and hit the like button.  While you are at it you might also like to subscribe to our newsletter by typing your email in the box in the sidebar on the main site. 

Using writing as a way of working through things is not a new concept but it is a concept that I explore with my students on my online course Meditation through Writing.  We take both writing and meditation and establish a dialogue between them.  The results have been truly diverse and I am confident that writing voices have strengthened as a result.  I will be repeating this course in the new year so if you are interested in joining drop me a message and I can give you more details. 

You are probably getting the impression that lots is going on and that would be accurate.  I might be taking this 'keeping busy' thing a little too far but that has always been my weakness.  That said, I am delighted at how things are starting to come together and can see how projects will develop in the future.  Scottish island mum has not been neglected in this thinking and planning but I do keep changing my mind; evidence that more thinking is required.  All I know is that I have big plans for a mum who lives on a Scottish island and appears to have quite a bit to say...

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 293 - Important to know how to jig. xx

Sunday 20th October

At the beginning of this journey is was all about the discipline of writing something every day.  I am not sure I thought beyond that and I certainly didn't think about the potential readers.  That changed very quickly though and thank goodness it did.  For me blogging is all about the dialogue with the readers and those that forget that are missing an essential part of what it is to blog.  I knew I would be able to blog everyday because that was the challenge and I am good at challenges.  What I didn't know was how much the content would change the way I think.  I see the world differently now as I am always on the hunt for good content.  Consequently I notice more things and I observe more closely.  I feel more in touch with the world that I inhabit and I feel every bit the Scottish island mum that this blog has created.  It is a comfortable place to be and I would miss it terribly if it wasn't here anymore. 

So when I woke this morning to my giant mug of tea I logged on to see if my American readers had done their bit.  I never had any doubts that they would because some of my most loyal readers come from the US.  As I went to bed we were just under the 30,000 page views mark and we have now sailed right beyond that target.  In blogland that might not be huge but it is huge to me and I intend to jig for the entire week by way of a celebration.  I get my fair share of unique visitors in that figure but the majority is made up of people that visit again and again and, for that, I will always be incredibly grateful.  It might have been a bit of a lonely journey blogging every day for a year but the interaction with you guys has made it an absolute delight.    I have provided you with a little youtube link to help you with your jig....

 

Jig over and quite recovered I find myself once more thanking you for your kind and thoughtful messages.  Harry is doing a little better and the island is preparing for the funeral of Connor when I think the sky will turn very black indeed.  I have tugged hard on my faith this week in order to be the supportive parent I so need to be at this time.  Last night Pete and I watched the most amazing spectacle from Mother Nature.  With a full moon taking centre stage a jet stream high above us blew the clouds along at a rate rarely seen.  There was barely a puff of wind at ground level so it seemed a little unreal.  Looking skyward has always helped me through the difficult times because I always feel that there is life up there somewhere and that there is so much more going on than we could possibly know.  Of course, Buddhism believes in reincarnation and I certainly believe that souls live on in some form or another.  So last night I let the drifting clouds carry Connor onwards to his next  great adventure and I felt the beginning of calm.  Grief is a complex emotion and  I have had my fair share of it this year but that is, of course, part of life and none of us can escape it. 

 

Photograph from David Newell 

 

I have found enormous comfort in photographs of the natural world and even on these greyest of days I can take myself off to look at the wonders of the world.  The two photographers on the One soul many hearts team take the most amazing shots.  They see things that others might miss and they capture it for us to share.  It is a rare and very special talent.  Today I saw this photograph taken by David and it made me think of how connected we all are.  Even with those departed from us can surely feel this connection.  David has a new flickr account and Lisa has had one for a while.  If you ever need to escape and the outside is grey and cold take a wander over to their flickr accounts and just breathe.  David and Lisa are two of the kindest people I know and I am always so grateful for their friendship.  Lisa lives in Canada but I have a little ambition in life and that is for the three of us to spend some real time together.  It will make a change from our virtual times. 

 

So as we start another week Scottish island mum is, perhaps, a little stronger than she was.  She can be the parent she needs to be and she can also jig with some considerable style.  Connor would, no doubt, roll his eyes just as Harry does.  Excellent. 

 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 292 - The autumn mists suspend the quietness. xx

Saturday 19th October

As the autumn mists continue to inhabit the island I feel that we are somewhat suspended.  I was hoping that two solid days of rain would cleanse us but I fear not.  As I lay awake listening to the rain last night I could feel the hurt.  I could feel the sadness seeping through the heaviest of downpours and I think that is where we are.  We are a small island and we feel things deeply when one of us departs.  We feel it especially deeply when it is one of our young people.  The atmosphere on the island is quiet and just a little broken as we all feel the loss of young Connor.  It is a time to come together and support the family and friends the best way we can.  Harry has kept himself very busy this week and I think that works for a lot of us.  I have tried not to sit down with a cup of tea because the tears just come and I can't keep crying. 

Dawn provided the words & David the photograph - always in your debt. 

As a parent you wish you could take your children's pain away but, of course, you can't.  When I was at school we lost a significant number from our year and there was no explanation then and there is no explanation now.  I was just 17 when one of my closest friends, Denise, was killed in a car accident.  I can go back to the day I heard the news in a heart beat.  So, here we are now years later and the same pain and the same disbelief echoes in the autumn mist.  After a while there are no words so everyone just stays quiet.  Arran is a very quiet place at the moment. 

Following Harry's example I have kept busy too and so a little production line of Christmas crafts is now underway.  Things would be better if I could stop getting distracted by bits and pieces lying on the table.  I have now gone off on another little jolly designing pictures to be made inside embroidery hoops.  What has that got to do with my design strategy?  Absolutely nothing would be the answer to that.  I have, however, decided that this year is different from others because I have been so busy with my writing.  I am using this as an excuse to indulge my constant distractions and just go with the flow.  I am happy with what I am producing so that might be all that is important.  I just need to hope that others will like the gifts and buy them. 

I am keen that both Scottish island mum and One soul many hearts support handmade gifts this year and I still have space on an editorial piece for more makers.  If you make and sell handmade gifts and would like to be featured do get in touch and/or pass my details on.  Many thanks. xx

I read this wonderful blog today written by Sara who is a writer and a photographer.  Have a look at her gallery page.  She has a book due out in the Spring next year and she has taken a year off to write her next one.  She is combining this with touring the country in a van and visiting some truly memorable places.  You just know that I would love to do that.  Of course I would need to have published a book first to ensure an advance on a second.  These advances are never large so Sara must be living quite a simple life in order to make this year work.  I am sure she is inspired by her travels and I also read a piece written by her in this edition of Earthlines.  This magazine/journal is focused on nature writing and place and space and is a delight to read.  Sara's piece was strangely moving and it has lingered in my mind. 

Sara has made me think of my own book that is a fictional memoir but based on a true encounter in a railway station.  The encounter was so profound that it nestles deep in my soul and I feel that it is a story for the modern world.  A world that sometimes loses its way and individuals get rather lost as a result.  Compassion is the narrator and serendipity is its plot but it is the characters that speak the tale that I hope will take us through a never ending journey of love and loss. 

We have lost this week but we still love and that I think is the most important thing of all.  Now where can I borrow a van from....?

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 291 - I got a little distracted. xx

Friday 18th October

The sewing machine is out and the foot is on the metal so we are in full Christmas craft mode.  I was doing quite well sticking to my plans but I have now got a little distracted.  Every year I spend ages designing and less time than I should making and this year is no different.  It was a relatively simple idea this year because I want to use hessian in as many ways as possible to create a natural and homespun effect.  Goodness me what a mess!  The hessian threads are everywhere and I am happily walking then around the house.  I won't be deterred though because I like the rustic feel of this collection and I think it will sell well.  I have quite decided that making raggy wreaths is incredibly therapeutic so, as well as the hessian ones, I embarked on some other fabric ones as it is a great way of using up offcuts. 

It was in the middle of trimming my wreaths that my distraction moment occurred.  I don't like waste and on the table I could see the necessary bits and pieces to make bookmarks with.  Bookmarks aren't on my design board for this collection but I fail to take any notice of that and get into bookmark making.  Over an hour later and six bookmarks finished and I am pleased but I do have to accept that this was not part of the plan.  They will make great stocking fillers though so I am relatively happy with my distraction. 

So, now at the end of this week I have managed to make natural fire starters, soy candles, vintage tea cup candles, raggy wreaths, willow wreaths, hearts, dream pillows and bookmarks.  I know it doesn't exactly hang together as a collection yet but it will - trust me!  Of course now I have made the bookmarks I need to make the books to go with them.....a little more research will need to be completed first.  One year I might actually manage to stick to the design board. 

When I am focused on my crafts the day disappears so the woodland walk will have to be another day.  It has rained all day on Arran so that is a good excuse to get the fire on early and keep sewing.  As the week comes to an end I am feeling slightly less worried about the Christmas markets as I now have some stock to sell.  Molly and I are off the Convent Garden Christmas market this year so I will no doubt get some last minute ideas to add in and then we will be good to go.  Most of my sales come at this time of year but this year has been compromised by other things.  That said, my simple design strategy has worked well and meant that things are quite quick to make.  I am a real fan of Pinterest as a place to collect ideas.  Take a look at my wreath board to see the range of ideas around at the moment.  I am doing some beach fragment wreaths as well as my Christmas ones and we shall see how they go. 

Once the sales are underway I can turn my attention to making presents for family and friends.  George, Max and myself make presents every year and the trick is to come up with something different.  Last year we make handmade journals for everyone and spent hours and hours cutting and gluing.  The boys always have the final say so we are just starting to talk about it now.  It would be lovely to hear your ideas for handmade presents - there is something really special about taking time to actually make something for someone that is important to you.  I am blessed with lots of lovely girlfriends and I have just the idea for this year but, of course, can't share it here.  I also try and make the children something as well and that gets harder every year. 

I worked late last night researching potential options for making a real contribution to supporting our young people.  I have had several encouraging emails today so I now need to decide the best direction for this work.  I do my best to avoid politics as it usually makes me very frustrated but one of the options has a strong political edge to it.  There are various national bodies set up to support young people as they make decisions about their future but there appears to be a lack of joined up thinking.  This is not going to be a quick solution.  It is my intention to dedicate a part of Scottish island mum to supporting young people as it moves into 2014.  It seems a natural extension of home school.  When you home school you do spend a lot of time looking for opportunities that your children can become involved in so it would be sensible to share.  If I start to drift towards politics I expect my readers to pull me back with some force. 

I am off to attempt to tidy up and I maybe some time.  Let us hope I don't get distracted with another idea although there must be someway to use like all these jute threads....

Until tomorrow. xx