As the autumn mists continue to inhabit the island I feel that we are somewhat suspended. I was hoping that two solid days of rain would cleanse us but I fear not. As I lay awake listening to the rain last night I could feel the hurt. I could feel the sadness seeping through the heaviest of downpours and I think that is where we are. We are a small island and we feel things deeply when one of us departs. We feel it especially deeply when it is one of our young people. The atmosphere on the island is quiet and just a little broken as we all feel the loss of young Connor. It is a time to come together and support the family and friends the best way we can. Harry has kept himself very busy this week and I think that works for a lot of us. I have tried not to sit down with a cup of tea because the tears just come and I can't keep crying.
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| Dawn provided the words & David the photograph - always in your debt. |
As a parent you wish you could take your children's pain away but, of course, you can't. When I was at school we lost a significant number from our year and there was no explanation then and there is no explanation now. I was just 17 when one of my closest friends, Denise, was killed in a car accident. I can go back to the day I heard the news in a heart beat. So, here we are now years later and the same pain and the same disbelief echoes in the autumn mist. After a while there are no words so everyone just stays quiet. Arran is a very quiet place at the moment.
Following Harry's example I have kept busy too and so a little production line of Christmas crafts is now underway. Things would be better if I could stop getting distracted by bits and pieces lying on the table. I have now gone off on another little jolly designing pictures to be made inside embroidery hoops. What has that got to do with my design strategy? Absolutely nothing would be the answer to that. I have, however, decided that this year is different from others because I have been so busy with my writing. I am using this as an excuse to indulge my constant distractions and just go with the flow. I am happy with what I am producing so that might be all that is important. I just need to hope that others will like the gifts and buy them.
I am keen that both Scottish island mum and One soul many hearts support handmade gifts this year and I still have space on an editorial piece for more makers. If you make and sell handmade gifts and would like to be featured do get in touch and/or pass my details on. Many thanks. xx
I read this wonderful blog today written by Sara who is a writer and a photographer. Have a look at her gallery page. She has a book due out in the Spring next year and she has taken a year off to write her next one. She is combining this with touring the country in a van and visiting some truly memorable places. You just know that I would love to do that. Of course I would need to have published a book first to ensure an advance on a second. These advances are never large so Sara must be living quite a simple life in order to make this year work. I am sure she is inspired by her travels and I also read a piece written by her in this edition of Earthlines. This magazine/journal is focused on nature writing and place and space and is a delight to read. Sara's piece was strangely moving and it has lingered in my mind.
Sara has made me think of my own book that is a fictional memoir but based on a true encounter in a railway station. The encounter was so profound that it nestles deep in my soul and I feel that it is a story for the modern world. A world that sometimes loses its way and individuals get rather lost as a result. Compassion is the narrator and serendipity is its plot but it is the characters that speak the tale that I hope will take us through a never ending journey of love and loss.
We have lost this week but we still love and that I think is the most important thing of all. Now where can I borrow a van from....?
Until tomorrow. xx
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