Thursday 31 October 2013

Day 304 - Creeping up on me. xx

Thursday 31st October

How did Halloween creep up without me noticing.  Giddy aunt!  Still nothing like a bit of immediacy for a seasoned Halloween Mum to get herself in gear. Over the years we have collected all sorts of horrid decorations so two hours later and the dining room looks like a cross between a spider's web and a hangout for all things spooky. This year we wanted to help the village hall party for the primary children so our baking was mostly for them.  George and I baked 60 cupcakes and iced them read for the party tomorrow and as I write Max is carving our pumpkin which can also be donated after we have used it tonight. 


I have lots of little games prepared and I do enjoy them all squirming!   My favourite is the forfeit game inside a balloon.  First they have to pop the balloon by sitting on it then they have to do the forfeit.  There are some shockers in there.... Every year we have a contest to see who can make the best mummy.  Using toilet roll one person wraps their partner up as a mummy.  Harry wins every year regardless of what team he is on but there is a bit of a twist this year and I can hear Harry objecting already. 



The goodie bags are also ready even though I say that I am stopping that the following year.  The sparklers are also ready as we don't do bonfire night because it scares the animals. I am thinking it is just the food to do and yet another Halloween party will roll out of the yard. 



Despite lots of boats not sailing (due to adverse weather) Molly's Halloween parcel managed to arrive in time.  We included a cake making gift so she is merrily baking away down in Lincoln.  It has been shocking weather the past few days and I am rather nervous about the conditions next week when I need to get off the island.  This is the downside of living on an island but I must make it to Paul's memorial somehow.  I may even have to go a day early and book into a hotel - very annoying!

Whenever I plan to leave the island there is so much to do so I am made busy getting everything and everyone organised.  I am so looking forward to seeing Molly and spending some time together in London.  We do have her masters application to get sorted so it is not a complete jolly. 

I completely forget to thank readers for their emails about my piece on egos.  You can blame being stuck in bed poorly for that piece.  Not much to say when you have spent the day in bed so I used the opportunity to talk about something else.  I have had some really interesting and engaging chats about egos in with some of you and I am grateful for your considerations.  The most common note from you guys was that we all know plenty of people who have obese egos and we know far less with lean egos.  I am quite sure that I should be the other way round.  I do have people in my life that will talk only of themselves if I let the conversation drift that way but I do try and make gentle interventions to get them thinking about others.  It is so refreshing not to focus on yourself and I think self obsession is a bad habit that is quite easily adopted.  I always tell Pete to shout at me if I end up going down that route.  I much prefer to be thinking of the needs of others because it is far more engaging and uplifting.  I am a very solution orientated person but it is important that you don't offer up solutions where they are not welcome. 

I learnt that the hard way when I was just 18.  I was working part time in a warehouse while studying and an elderly gentleman was in the team.  He would pass me in the aisles looking confused to where to find things so I would just tell him where to look.  I did it far too often.  The supervisor called me in to her office to tell me that I was becoming very annoying and this was leading to his frustration.  How bad did I feel?  I was too young to understand that not everyone wants to be helped and, even if they do, you have to sensitive about it.  With every person the experience is different so I don't think we ever stop learning how to help effectively. 

Some of my close friends get cross with me from time to time and insist  that I stop thinking about others and look after myself.  It is, of course, sensible advice and that is what good friends are for.  They will always tell it how it is.  That said, I think that living with a chronic illness makes you see the world differently.  Focusing on myself leads to registering far more pain and fatigue than if I busy myself with helping others and generally keep busy.  So I could just be being very selfish!  'Tis food for thought....'

I am off to make sure Max has not sliced his fingers off and get the supper organised and then let the fun begin.  Wishing you the spookiness of nights - is that a word?

Until tomorrow.  xx

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