Day 181 - Fiona tells all. xx

Sunday 30th June

Regular readers will know that I was up early to check whether Scottish island mum had made it into print in the Sunday Post.  There wasn't really any missing it though.  So, the whirlwind of a week came to an end with my photo seeming taking up most of the page and an article that painted a picture.  The question you might be left with is 'was it accurate?'  Given that this is the media we are talking about you probably already know the answer.  I was slightly worried that it would drop some clangers but on the whole it navigated the story quite well. 

Let me share the short journey with you. 

I was emailed by the journalist on Tuesday and responded to that and several other requests in time for a phone interview on Thursday morning.  Most of you know that Scottish island mum is currently visiting a friend in Portsmouth.  I am especially impressed with the phrase that follows a couple of direct quotes that states that 'Fiona smiles'.  How clever for the journalist to see that down the phone line.  The direct quotes are largely not especially the one about me living the life that other people dream about.  I don't think so.  Regular readers who have read the piece will probably spot my words easily so perhaps we shouldn't dwell on journalistic sensationalism too much. 

This takes us nicely to the 'bonkers hour'.  Although I could send through images of the family and the island I had nothing decent of me.  So this is how it unravelled.  The paper booked a local photographer, Steve, to come to me to take some photos for the piece.  Steve knows of a small harbour nearby so off we go.  Steve does his very best to convert the garden of a pub backing onto the harbour into the Isle of Arran.  This conversion would not be complete without me sitting in amongst fag ends and bird poo.  Slowly the pub customers start to show an interest as Steve sets up his mini photo studio and I am already over this particular experience. 

Finishing in this location we are then on the move down the little boardwalk to the other end by the car park.  If Steve gets his angles rights and blurs it a bit there are a couple of sailing boats in the background.  These shots could be Lamlash Bay!  The experience would not have been complete with the four young guys sitting in a beat up car with music blaring out.  I can cope because they have their music on so loud nothing else can penetrate their world.  I am wrong because the music is turned right down so that they can concentrate on what is unfolding in front of them.  By now Steve is immersed in his art and we appear to be into the realm of tilting heads and wind in the hair.  The guys in the car begin to impress their personalities on my little photo shoot and at this point, inside my head, I am wetting myself.  The picture in the paper is that very shot so now you all know what I am thinking.  The brief was to look beyond the camera as if reflecting on something.  In reality it was very different.

Photo shoot complete we go back to the car and in minutes I am back at Donna's wondering quite what has just happened.  So by the end of play Thursday Scottish island mum has had a telephone interview in Portsmouth and a photo shoot in a pub car park.  Excellent! 

Fear not, I am not damaged by my brush with the world of the super model and I have survived unscathed from the article.  I hear, from Pete, that the piece has caused quite a stir in Whiting Bay on the island and this is reflected on a larger scale by my blog analytics that have gone bonkers.  But at the end of the day Scottish island mum is just the same as ever....

We had a lovely wander around Old Portsmouth today which is, perhaps, my favourite part of Portsmouth.  There is something so very real and immediate about the city and interest around every corner.  I could happily people watch for days at a time.  Wandering past a pair of swans in the filthy harbour making a nest out of our rubbish was less endearing but still part of the picture that defines this city.  It is not for me to have a view because this is not my home.  There is a lot of genuine pride in the people of Portsmouth that I find charming. 

Our little walk took in the lovely old buildings, the majestic (if quite humble) cathedral, the harbour and all the boats piled up like toys on shelves.  The sea breezes are so invigorating and my favourite thing about the sea front.  With a hot day out come all the people and off come almost all the clothes.  I loved the families gathered around the beach huts and the sea gulls begging for food.  The candy floss and the chips take up their place as do the bikes and the roller blades.  Portsmouth says 'family' to me and I think it should be very proud of that.  It might be a long way away from my little island but its existence is just as precious and home to a huge number of people.  For me, it is a writer's paradise and you could just leave me here for a month to write all the stories that are at the end of every terraced street and in every speck of green space.  A very special place indeed. 



Until tomorrow.  xx
P.S Booked my return flight so will be back on my little island on Saturday.  xx

Day 180 - I will always remember Ellie. xx

Saturday 29th June

On a beautiful sunny day my off island roaming continues with an annual family picnic at a local country park.  Over the years I have got to know Donna's parents quite well and love them both dearly.  On this day, once a year, the 'Taylor clan' assemble and catch up with it each.  I was a spectator to something that is quite alien to me.  Donna is one of five children and her mother was one of eight so it is a big gathering and almost impossible for me to remember names or who belongs to who. 

I have a very small family.  I am middle child of three and my mother was an only child.  My father died a few years ago as did his only sister.  My sense of family began with my birth family and then developed as I had children of my own.  With four children there is definitely a strong sense of family, but not a strong sense of extended family.  The Taylor's all seem to have both a strong sense of their own family and the extended version that was gathered today. 

Over the years I think I have constructed families as I have collected people.  I have spoken here before how I hold onto people and how blessed I am to have so many lovely friends.  I make these people my family as they are just as important to me.  Maybe this replaces the lack of extended family members.  When I took up my first teaching job in Tower Hamlets I got up close and personal with extended families as many of them lived in the same housing block.  Grandmas looked after children who moved effortless between various homes feeling safe and loved.  I have spoken about my wonderful Grandmother, Ella, here before and today I observed another wonderful Grandma.  Donna's mum Ruth is, for me, the definition of Grandma and mum all rolled up in a nice sticky bun.  She is adorable and adored and that is rare.  Ruth and her lovely husband Ken were right at the heart of today and must be very proud of their personal gene pool.  Not all their children could make it but those that were there brought along their children and even grand children.  Then there were the older children to play with the little children so that mums and dads could relax and catch up. 

This was family at its very best and a joy to behold.  From the almost 90 year old driving down from Reading to the unborn child there was a sense of belonging that transcended the generations.  I was very struck by Ellie who is Donna's niece.  She has just finished her first year at Bristol university reading English literature so we chatted about books and writing.  Ellie is an incredibly grounded young lady who is at ease with talking to all generations on all subjects.  But I watched Ellie watching her Grandma and making sure she had everything she needed and I just knew that she has an important place in this world. 

With such a large family they don't see each other all the time but I am not sure that matters.  Through Grandma they all know what is going on in each other's lives and communication is just so easy.  Grandma doesn't miss a trick though and takes in everything even when she looks like she isn't.  She has one of those all seeing eyes and I think they all know that.  I watched Grandma as she made sure she talked to all her children and did a proper catch up to check all was well.  I also watched her as more and more grand children sat down beside her for a chat.  Meantime 'Granddad' (with two ds) spent time with the little ones in a way that only a Granddad can. It is as if these grand people were weaving the finest gold thread through the gathering and touching everyone.  They even wrapped their gold thread round me and I don't belong to them! 

It was an easy and contented afternoon sitting among the trees and gently chatting.  It is something they do every year and it must have created so many wonderful memories.  I have known and loved Donna for many years and now I love all her family too.  Mind you, don't ask me to tell you their names, except Ellie.  I will always remember Ellie.

Do you think if we all keep our fingers crossed all night we will wake up knowing that Scottish island mum is a feature article in a national newspaper?  If it has been included you just know you are going to hear all about it!  And yes you can expect me to go pop!  A 'trying not to get too excited blogger signing off......'

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 179 - I told you I can't keep secrets! xx

Friday 28th June

Someone very wise once told me to always remember to take life one step at a time.  Over the past week this has returned to me over and over again as situations have presented themselves.  As this week closes I am left with a simple gratitude for life itself.  An untimely death is always hard to comprehend and a family I know are in the midst of that as I write.  In time, the comfort of happy memories will surround them in all that they do but for now there is the shock and the pain.  This family is a strong one and I can see them supporting it each other and that will see them through this dark time. 

Continuing with the wisdom of taking one step at a time I am going to take a gentle punt here.  Since Tuesday I have been bursting to tell you something and I think this might be the time.  The slight gamble is that it may still not come together but the back story is worthy of sharing.  On Tuesday I was scanning through my emails only half concentrating with my head full of my travels to Portsmouth the following day.  Glancing across an email I had to immediately go back and read it again.  To my complete disbelief it was from a journalist from a national newspaper wanting to write a feature on Scottish island mum.  The journalist for the Sunday Post had come across this little blog and had read backwards to see what it was all about.  She had then decided that there was a story in it and sent her email. 

Thinking this was a gentle enquiry that may lead nowhere I responded and by the time I had got to Portsmouth I had a list of questions and photo requests to attend to.  On Thursday morning I then did a telephone interview.  As I write this the article is on a page but with no absolute guarantee of publication such is the way of the newspaper industry.  We will only really know on Sunday.  As Pete receives the papers with the boys ready to sort at the local newsagents he will know before me! 

Taking stock a little on this whirlwind of a week I am still struggling to comprehend the level of interest in Scottish island mum.  I am, of course, thrilled but just trying to get to grips with it.  The questions from the journalist have already made me try and explain why Scottish island mum has been so successful.  I struggled then and I am struggling now.  I do have some components of the answer but I can't give a conclusive answer. 

I do know that this little blog is a complete joy and my relationship with my readers is the absolute best bit about it.  I also know that this relationship has helped to shape not only the writings on the blog but the course of my year.  That has to be pretty special and I am not sure would be a feature of all blogs.  I also know that I try very hard to create a piece of virtual space that is positive to, perhaps, counter some of the doom and gloom out there.  But if you add all those components together that still doesn't create the answer.  Maybe I am not the right person to ask?  Perhaps you guys would be better placed to answer that question? 

Ultimately, we may never know and perhaps never need to know.  What I am very sure of is that this has been a deeply humbling experience for me and we are only half way through the project!  I have no idea what the article will say and that does make me slightly nervous.  I would have been happier if I had written it but this is the way of things.  The fact that a national newspaper has made a connection with our little space is enough to try and get my head round.  The momentum surrounding Scottish island mum is a little crazy and when I was asked if I had a publisher for the book I think I let out a little squeal.... I am starting to get questions that I haven't anticipated so I think I need to get with the programme a little.  Scottish island mum is incredibly precious to me and I just want to wrap it up in delicate tissue paper and protect it.  This might not be possible after Sunday but, regardless, I need to give some thought to what I would like to do with this body of work once the year is over.  But I am taking one step at a time.  The article might not even run......

Today has been a mixed day with enormous sadness alongside a need to just get on with things.  I took Joshua to the park and this time remembered my camera.  Portsmouth is full of lovely green spaces and we had fun timing Joshua over various climbing frames.  In spending time with him we are exploring the natural environment available to him and we both loved the elderflowers.  We couldn't name all the trees in the park but we did pretty well and we even caught site of a squirrel as it disappeared up a tree at great speed.  Through these lovely shared experiences we also continued to chat about preparing for secondary school in September.  Joshua is a lovely boy and you would all love him. 

I end with my feet planted firmly on the ground following a mortifying experience.  Donna and I get up to all sorts and really shouldn't be allowed out...ever.  While picking up a prescription we were served by a new chemist that Donna had not seen before.  I could tell she had never seen him before by the way we both almost melted into the floor as he looked right into her eyes.  They weren't even my eyes but I thought I would melt as well.  As only two ex dancers could do we then sort of contorted our bodies as we turned and floated out of the shop.  In the sure knowledge that this display of giddiness had been captured by CCTV Donna then proceeded to melt against a lamp post.  This shameful act was then defended through declaring shared hot flushes.  I don't think so.  Donna will never be able to set foot in that shop again.  We did giggle though and that was very much needed.  Call it therapy.

There is a delightful post script to my week connecting with the national press and it unravels as 'my bonkers hour' that I touched on yesterday.  I will let the Sunday Post have their moment on Sunday and then I will tell all. 

Can anymore be packed into one week?  Life has a way of hitting you hard sometimes with that feeling that everything is coming at once.  There is, of course, only one solution for that - one step at a time. 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 178 - The best bonkers hour of my life. xx

Thursday 27th June

I am late blogging today because I have just had the most bonkers hour of my entire life.  I might have had to wait 48 years for it but it was well worth the wait.  Bonkers doesn't really do the experience justice but it will have to do for now.  It is an hour that I can share with you and  I fully intend to do so.  There is such a funny story in it and I just know you will love it.  Sadly, I can't share it with you just yet as I am on a bit of a hush hush at the moment.  This is all a little odd as I am supposed to be writing a blog about what I do in the day and I can't write about it.  I am also not very good at keeping secrets as I am that small child that can't sleep Christmas eve and drives everyone mad.  If I was bursting to tell you yesterday imagine how bad today has been. 

The very second I know I can write about it I am locking myself away until it is down and then logging on like my life depends on it.  I was worried that if this little secret adventure I am right in the middle doesn't amount to anything I will have nothing to write about.  That has now all changed with my bonkers hour so, whatever happens, I have something to say and, trust me, you will like it. 

So, Scottish island mum is ever so slightly all over the place and very out of her comfort zone.  I am not on my island, not with my family, not with my plants and no where near my beloved studio.  I think I am more of a roaming Scottish island mum and I am going to try and make that work for a while.

What interests me about Portsmouth is that, technically, it is an island!  Don't you just love that?  It is only 10 square miles but has approximately 186,000 people living on this rather crowded island.  Arran is about 60 miles if you walk all the way round and has approximately 5,000 people on it. 

You might expect me to write about the contrast between the two islands but I might surprise you there.  Firstly, and importantly, I need to tell you that I adore Portsmouth.  On paper perhaps I shouldn't as I travelled hundreds of miles north to escape this sort of environment.  It is busy and almost definitely over populated.  I do struggle with the pollution sometimes but thankfully the strong sea breezes work their magic there.  So there are some aspects that I struggle with as they are such a contrast to my own experience on Arran.  But let me tell you that Portsmouth has real soul and a heart fit to burst.  The people are some of the friendliest people you will find anyway.  Some of the families living on this island have lived here for ever and you can tell.  Portsmouth people are often very proud of their island and the strong community that comes with it. 

Portsmouth is an interesting and engaging place with its own history and charming stories and in past visits we have unearthed some tales that speak of the strategic importance of the city.  Then there are the oddities.  You can be wandering along a very busy built up street and at the end it opens up to a view of the sea with sailing boats bobbing about.  The harbour is very busy all the time as far as I can tell.  A few years back I was at a small festival afternoon on Southsea common and laid down on the grass to enjoy some rays.  Then, quite suddenly, someone took my sun clean away.  It just vanished so I sat up to see what was happening in the world.  The biggest boat I had ever seen was tanking out of the harbour with so many levels to it that it should have sunk.  It was carrying lots and lots and lots of people to France and it, temporarily, blocked out the sun. 

A couple of years ago when I was here I stayed in a hotel on the front with a sea view.  It was the summer and I spent a completely memorable evening watching a kite event on the common as the sun set.  That evening will stay with me forever.  There are some lovely little places in the city that speak of quiet moments and I think the Cathedral is very special indeed. 

All this makes me think of my Creative Arran project which is nearing completion.  The purpose of this writing project is to connect me more deeply with favourite places on the island.  The writing exercises have all delivered what they promised and I have found creative inspiration from very different spaces.  I think I might be onto something here.  I would love to hear about some of your favourite places in the area you call home.  The creative Arran project and my recent visits to Portsmouth have convinced me that sometimes it is a good thing to take some time out of our busy lives and reconnect with our surroundings.  Do you have a place that evokes lovely memories of past moments?  Do you have places you like to go to be by yourself?  If you would like to share I would like to include it in my writings as we discover just why some places move us.  Just email your thoughts and we can take it from there.  You know I will ask for a picture!  On my travels out and about today with Donna's son Joshua I forgot to take my camera.  This girl must do better.  Sincere apologies. 

Bit by bit and conversation by conversation more and more of you are finding you have something to say.  More and more of you are moved to write that something down and are also willing to share.  I am currently working with lots of people as they write their pieces and we chat about small edits that will deliver greater impact or a more sensitive message.  I am finding this such a joy so if any of you want to work with me to have your say or speak about an important person or time in your life, do get in touch.  Somehow this little blog has moved on again and, as usual, I have no idea of how this latest momentum began.  I know I should be more in control but how much more fun is it doing it this way?  Between us we are giving new meaning to 'going with the flow.'

Scottish island mum has sprouted a new and very shiny pair of wings that are trying hard to include as many of you in this journey as possible.  All this means we are all going to be reading some fabulous pieces both here and on One soul, many hearts once it launches in October.  We are going to feel topped up to the brim with inspiration and positivity.  Lucky us. 

I should say another big thank you for the continuing messages of support for my lovely Donna.  We are gently working through things and I am sure you wouldn't want me to say anymore than that. 

Somebody said to me today 'watch this space' and I am passing that onto you.  No really, watch this space!

Blessings to you all.

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 177 - Right by her side. xx

Wednesday 26th June

I am right by her side and exactly where I need to be at this time.  Arrived safely but acutely aware that I probably shouldn't be allowed in the real world on my own.  It may have been the very early start but I think I was locked into a trance like stare the whole journey.  I failed to connect with much around me and just moved through the different stages of the journey a little lost in my own thoughts.  Now you are going to ask me what I was thinking!  Sadly, I can't tell you that because it is a little hush hush at the moment and may, in fact, amount to nothing.  But if it does turn into something it will make us all stop and take in a breath.  I am absolutely busting to tell you but, on this occasion, I am exercising some personal discipline.  This doesn't happen very often so it feels slightly alien. 

In fact the whole of yesterday evening was in my head as I review the communications I had.  It has become part of my daily routine to sit down after supper and respond to emails from you guys and yesterday I was a little distracted with plans for my journey today.  Creating a real and meaningful dialogue with my readers is my number one priority with this blog so I shelved my thoughts of my journey and focused.  Many of the emails were quick questions requesting more information or web links and I can deal with these quite quickly.  But there are always some that are longer and require much more careful attention and thought.  I had several of these last evening including one from a reader who visits Arran quite often and follows this blog.  As a piece of communication it was written from the heart and read like it had to be written and I immediately appreciated that.  I read it several times before considering my response.  When people take that much time out of their busy lives to give me feedback and connect with what this little virtual space is busy with I am always humbled.  I was very humbled last night and I do hope my reply did justice to the original communication. 

I did have moments today when I focused on communication and, I think, there lay my problem.  I went into my head because the quality of the communication around me was so disappointing.   For me it is all in the faces.  I think it must be easier to frown than it is to smile because I saw very few smiles.  I saw a lot of heads down and a lot of menacing looking frowns.  The worse things for me was when people just ignored other people who were trying to communicate with them.  Many of these people were wearing headphones and looked like they were blocking out the world. 

 

Perhaps this is how we travel these days and perhaps that is the best way to survive it.  Ultimately, I was no better because by the time my plane landed in Southampton I had gone into my head.  That said, I did not forget to thank the cabin staff on my way off the plane.  It is not as simple to say that people failed to polite because it felt more than that.  It felt like we were all closing ourselves off and cocooning ourselves in our own day regardless of what was going on around us.  Living on the isle of Arran is not like that and so I noticed the contrast.  On the island we talk to eat other and seem to smile a lot more.  We seem to have more time for each other and more interest in each other's lives.  When Annie visited last week she really noticed this and has referenced it in her own blog post that she posted yesterday.  It is a really interesting read and shares a different perspective on the island. 

So, I have some things to ponder as I live on the mainland for a while and I expect them to test my thinking a little.  A change of environment should shake us up a bit as new observations and reflections work their magic inside our minds.  All my years teaching means that I have fairly well developed observation skills so let us hope I can find the time to reflect on what I am seeing as Scottish island mum exists in a very different environment. 

Our family has a very special person in our lives called Nikki and on Monday she had a baby girl called Summer. Summer, her mum, dad and sister and brother are visiting Arran in August so we will all meet them then.  There is a story to be told.  Welcome to our lovely world Summer.

Until tomorrow. Xx

Day 176 - I hope the wings are strong enough. xx

Tuesday 25th June

A little overcast on the island today but still dry and lovely.  I spent a long time in the tunnel this morning making sure all my lovely plants are happy ahead of my absence.  I am harvesting salad leaves, strawberries and sweet peas daily and I told everything else to hang on until I am back.  I am not the type of person who likes missing out on things.  Planning ahead I harvested some sage leaves and flowers as I need them for my next course.  I have a lovely metal herb dryer in my studio so I expect the whole place will smell of sage on my return.  Could be worse. 

I now have lists popping up everywhere and Pete said today 'you do do rather a lot!'  Loved that.  I am quite sure they can all cope without me but the lists will keep them on track.  Today I have met myself coming back the way I have just been as I dash about trying to get everything organised.  As I write this I still have to pack but I think I am there with the rest.  I was hoping to get some writing work out of the way before I left so I will just have to hide away when in Portsmouth to get it done by the end of the month deadlines. 

I have been busting to tell you about a lovely email I received last night from a fabulous supporter of our fundraising campaign for the Butterfly Tree charity.  As many of you know we are holding a Butterfly Supper on the island in September to mark the end of the campaign.  This supporter lives off island and we were chatting about how off island supporters might mark the end as well.  Between us we came up with a plan.  The Butterfly Supper on Arran is on Tuesday September 10th starting at 7pm.  We thought it would be a lovely idea if off island supporters considered hosting their own smaller and more intimate version - more of a Butterfly dinner party.  Of course, it doesn't have to be on the same night as weekends might suit people better.  The plan would be to ask for donations from their guests in return for a lovely supper and a butterfly goodie bag.  We would supply the goodie bags to support these dinner parties and everyone would leave with information about the charity and a couple of thank you butterfly gifts including a tulle butterfly. 

It would be a lovely way for supporters to end their work over the summer and I could write about all the wonderful evenings on this blog.  I would also do a piece for the Butterfly Tree newsletter and facebook page.  If any of you lovely off island supporters would like to host a dinner party do get in touch and we can chat and I will do all I can to support from here.  I am trying to learn the technology around podcasting and if I am successful in time I can send a podcast about the work of the Butterfly tree and our contributions to it.  I am so not promising that though because my first look at it was a bit scary.  I am excited about September despite it being a way off and lots happening in the meantime. 

As the boys played tennis I began drafting my media pack for my new site One soul, many hearts.  I have a really strong vision of how I want this site supported and, in particular, the type of companies I want advertising and sponsoring the site.  Although it will be a new site I am already aware of a buzz of interest coming through via messages so I am hopeful of good readership numbers from the start.  That being the case I should be able to attract advertisers and even sponsors fairly immediately.  I did get two emails yesterday expressing strong interest and it doesn't launch until October.  As I still have six months to run on this site I have agreed to some limited advertising here and that way both parties can see how we go. 

A further development came in this morning with a email asking whether I will be hosting a marketplace on this new site.  I love marketplaces when they are done well and the listed items for sale are in keeping with the site.  It has gone on my 'to do' list and I will keep you posted.  Meantime if anyone makes/sells anything that they think is in keeping with the site do drop me an email.  This site is really starting to sprout some strong wings.  Let us all hope that like the house martins I saw fledge a few days ago, it can take flight without falling on its face.  Bless. 

I can not believe the time.  Oh dear this is going to be a busy evening.  I leave on the 7am ferry for a morning flight and, all being well, I will be with my soul sister by 2pm.  I have my camera and journal packed so blogging will continue as normal.  I love the city of Portsmouth and all its history so hopefully we will spend some gentle days exploring it once more and feeding our souls.  I am, however, down there to support and be an extra pair of hands and pair of ears.  I just hope it helps.

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 175 - Such a child!

Monday 24th June

When the sun shines we sparkle and we are sparkling today.  The light bouncing off the sea never fails to captivate me and transport me to a different place.  I have to tear myself away otherwise I would never get anything done.  The ebb and flow of the tide always reminds me that all will be well.  I have a couple of friends facing really challenging times and I somehow need to learn how to bottle that feeling so that I can pass it on.  I will need to work on that. 


The ups and downs of my day ebbed and flowed mainly centred on the development of my new site.  However, I need to confess......I might have got a little distracted by discovering Deviantart.  I am sure you are all way ahead of me on this one but I got ridiculously excited over it and felt like a child in a sweet shop.  I played around with it for ages and then set up my own account.  I might not have an important looking camera but some of my shots are half decent and can stand alongside some of the ones on the site.  I can see a lot of photo editing at work on the site but for me the simple shot of nature often speaks more.  I am starting to mess about with digital art so it will give me a place to share and get feedback.  I also posted some of my silk work so I was a busy little bee.  If I am honest I have far too much to do to be playing around with a new site so I will now be playing catch up until I leave the island on the early ferry on Wednesday. 

If that was one of my highs the universe sent me sprawling downwards as I attempted to get to grips with creating a banner ad for my new site One soul, many hearts.  Don't you just love these sites that tell you that you can complete the task in 60 seconds and two hours later you are still at it?  You can see my new banner that I have created as an example in the sidebar of my new site.  It is far from good but it works and I have a handle on the software so the next one should be easier.  That said, the intention is not for me to creating the ads at all.  This is, ideally, for others to do so that I can offer advert space on my blog.  I am not a fan of websites with too many banner ads and even less so if they have unrelated adverts included.  I want my new site to have space for relevant companies to advertise in the sure knowledge they will be in good company. 

I have resisted advertising on this blog as it wasn't really part of the purpose of the project.  However, now I have mastered the technology I will be offering a few advert slots in the style of the one on 'One soul, many hearts.'  If you are reading this and are interested do let me know.  I will be producing an advert/sponsorship page but in the meantime email me for a chat.  As I approach 15,000 very loyal page views I think the opportunity is a good one.  If you know of anyone who might be interested please pass on my details.  Hugely grateful.  xx

Before plunging into the banner ad sphere I continued to work on the structure of the site and if you haven't visited it lately you might want to take a wee look.  I think I am almost there for the overall structure and I am now able to concentrate on building copy.  This is my favourite part so far as I get to talk to some really interesting and talented people and work with them to create writing or an image with maximum impact.  I think my promise of a light editorial touch has appealed to people as they are perhaps new to sharing their work.  I have cast the net out a little more today and have an evening of responding to emails ahead of me.  I am trying to avoid a UK centric site so if you are reading this from beyond our shores and have an idea for a contribution I would be delighted to hear from you.  I know from my analytics that this blog is read in countries from every continent so I know you are out there!! I have also sent out a first call for creative writing contributions - check the site for more details. 

Wimbledon is underway so I am dashing into the other room as Nadal looks in a very precarious position.  The joy of the first round dramas.  Tie break now so George is shouting at the telly and all is well in Doubleday land.   We do love our sport and the boys are playing tennis in the morning all fired up.  Sadly, despite my intentions I am not able to play yet so I will be off for a walk with my camera while resisting the temptation to go anywhere near Deviantart. 

What is clear is that my intention to move my professional life online is beginning to take shape and I can see how this might work.  That said, I can also see how much start up work is involved but my parents taught me never to be afraid of hard work.  Bless them!

So, lots achieved and even more still to do in what will be a demanding week.  Important for me to remember that I will get to everything in time and, more importantly, I will be in Portsmouth by Wednesday afternoon.  That is the most important thing of all. 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 174 - It would appear we are bleeding. xx

Sunday 23rd June

It would be sensible to assume that anyone who writes a daily blog would know what day of the week it is.  You would be wrong.  All day yesterday I thought it was Sunday and when I woke up this morning I thought it was Tuesday.  There are consequences to this as today has witnessed.  Thinking I am meeting Angie for coffee tomorrow which was, in fact, today I then find myself running down the road to meet her.  I used to run in my youth and even quite fast but running isn't really what I should be doing now.  As it was a self inflicted run I will not be asking for any sympathy.  So, when I can't move later everyone is to just ignore me. 

Leaving the island on Wednesday has rather focused the mind in other ways though and every bit of my life has moved into top gear.  My poor plants are all lined you and standing to attention ready for their surrogate parents to take over.  I have shifted as much of my professional life online as I could squeeze in to my tiny virtual home and it is nestled in nicely ready for the journey.  I have considered the up and coming needs of all of my children and have lists popping up everywhere.  My house, on the other hand, has not done so well and is quite shocking.  I expect that, on my return, it will be gleaming!  Harry is a whizz at getting the troops organised when he knows I am on my way home.  I wouldn't want to deny my children this pleasure so the house can stay shocking.

I may have to put my kitten in my hand luggage and if I am not allowed I will have to speak to her on the phone several times a day.  I will be phoning George to discuss the days play at Wimbledon anyway so he can just put her on when we are done.  A rather late coffee with Angie has helped us move forward on a joint project which is hush hush at the moment so I can leave feeling that I have dotted and crossed with pink fluffy bells on.  I know what you are all thinking because I am thinking the same thing.  What has she forgotten because there is bound to be something!  If there is I will simply ask my very nice pilot to turn the plane round and land in the playing fields at the bottom of the hill so I can attend to it.  Perfect!

Sometimes my body doesn't move when I wake up so I have to stay put for a while so that my nervous system can get with the programme.  This morning was one of those mornings but thankfully my brain still works so I work while I am waiting.  With the very necessary large mug of tea I began to send out messages for submissions for my new site One soul, many hearts.  October will be upon us before we have had our morning coffee and I want to give people plenty of time.  All day I have had offers of pieces under various headings and all day I have been stopping to reply to emails.

I am mindful of my friend Kev who is joining me as a writer on this new site.  Kev's writing career began as status updates on facebook until I asked him for a guest post on this blog.  Kev now has his own site and we are starting to work together for One soul many hearts.  It has been a fast and enchanting journey that I have felt privileged to witness.  From the correspondence today I feel we have many more similar journeys to witness.  I have people offering pieces who have never thought about writing before. 

You all know me well enough to know how thrilled I am about that.  I am not interested in well structured, well considered but benign writing.  I am interested in writing that comes from the heart and tells us something of the soul that framed it.  As a light touch editor I can work with the contributor to tidy up small details to ensure maximum impact but, ultimately, the piece must maintain its own voice and integrity.  So I now have a gentle queue forming of pieces that we will all be able to read on the new site later in the year. 

I can tell you immediately that the memoir writing is really going to tug at the heart strings but, at the same time, leave us full of hope.  Despite a day peppered with email conversations and early drafts there was one piece that stood out for me.  I am clearly not going to tell you about it here but you will, perhaps, be interested to know that it is from yet another old school friend.  I am not sure we were a remarkable year in school but let me tell you that tiny year roaming about in their little village secondary school has grown into some truly amazingly talented people.  I would add one more word to that description and that is brave.  The bravery, along with the talent, will reveal itself in due course.

I have a message for each and everyone of you reading this post.  There is a writer in all of us.  It is not the occupation of a favoured view.  It is a medium of expression that binds us together and, as such, is available to us all.  If you have something to share this is your chance.  A light editorial touch means that your piece always belongs to you.  Once you have written it and shared it you are a writer.  I am committed to finding the writer in as many people as possible and, as such, will support you the whole way.  A few short months ago Kev updated his status and now he tells me that his love for writing just keeps growing.  That is what happens with writing because we all have a lot to say once we get started.  So please do get in touch even if it is just to toss an idea about for a while.....

To those of you who are now working on pieces I think you understand my gratitude but just in case - thank you so very much.  I will be working on the new site when I am away so drop me an email if I can be of any help. 

It might be a good time to leave the island because it is suddenly a bit chilly up here.  What is the weather like on the south coast?  Through me my soul sister has received over 60 messages of support from all over the world and she wants me to share this -  "your soul sister is moved to tears and lifted by the kind thoughts and comments of your virtual community. Today was a bad day made better. Thank you xx"

We are doing good people, we really are.

Someone once told me to listen to these lyrics often and if I ever needed him he would be there.  He has been true to these words.  Sometimes life is one step at a time and nothing more complicated than that.

Until tomorrow xx

Day 173 - footprints in the sand. xx

Saturday 22nd June

As it turned out it was quite a summer solstice this year.  A day of highs and lows punctuated with moments of careful reflection.  It ended with a fabulous night out with friends where the giggle radar went right off the scale.  Earlier in the day I wouldn't have thought that possible and that is entirely down to having such lovely friends.  I have always considered myself blessed because I have such lovely friends and these friendships help to ground me. In quieter moments yesterday I realised just how many close friends I have now.  That has rather crept up on me.  I take my friendships very seriously and try my best to be a good friend. 

Yesterdays post touched on the fact that I am relocating to Portsmouth for some time to help my dearest friend and almost as soon as it was posted the emails started coming in.  Emails from you guys offering kind words to my friend despite most of you not knowing her.  There was also lots of offers of support for me.  So this is how this little virtual thing appears to work now.  If I needed to support someone I then, in turn, feel supported by you guys.  Points of connection that now span the globe and operate in different time zones.  I woke this morning to emails from some of my lovely American readers offering kind and thoughtful words.  I am trying not to be overwhelmed by this reaction but, instead, take a step back and see what is happening.  Some how I appear to have created a small piece of the virtual world full to the brim with people who care and want to help other people.  Maybe this began with the Butterfly Tree project but maybe it began before that?  However and whenever it began I am completely humbled by it.  For me, it gives blogging a higher purpose and creates a real opportunity to create a cleansed space where we can offer support and friendship.

I had a dream last night and I was weaving the biggest spider web I had ever seen.  I just kept weaving and weaving with no sense it would ever be finished.  Occasionally, the weaving was interrupted and I scuttled at great speed to a point of connection on the web and, at this space, I felt incredibly lifted.  I repeated this scuttling over and over again as vibrations were felt at points of connection.  Slowly, I began to realise that other people had also scuttled at speed and were sometimes there ahead of me. 

I woke through the dream with an absolutely clear understanding of it.  The web is clearly our little virtual world and the points of connections are all of us.  In time we shall be able to lift each other as required and I see that as a critical part of the new site One soul, many hearts that will develop from this daily blog.  I want it to be a space that we can all turn to when we need lifting and also a space where we all invest in lifting others from time to time.  That could come through the message board on the forum, or through the sharing of a stunning photograph from the natural world or a poem written as a gift to us all.  These are just meant as examples but I hope they illustrate the potential of the site.  I don't subscribe to doom and gloom and I want to help create a space where that is firmly off the agenda.  It becomes very clear to me that this is becoming possible because of all of you.  I get a regular readership of between 150 and 250 a day and a profile that rarely changes.  This tells me that I have regular readers and so it you guys that are really making this a possibility.  Perhaps we are at a time when we are all getting a bit fed up with doom and gloom and a self centred approach to living.  Perhaps that is something that binds us on our very lively and busy little web. 

One of the emails that I received said 'I really hope that your soul sister feels better soon and although I don't know her I know you.  So through you I wish the very best for her.'  I rest my case.

It is a joy and a privilege to get to know so many of you and through me again I wish you all the very best in all that you do.  I know my soul sister will feel lifted before I even get there.  How utterly fabulous is that? 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 172 - Important to know when to step up. xx

Friday 21st June

If my Dad taught me one thing it is to know when to step up.  Receiving a distressing email from your soul sister is just the trigger to step up and offer to help.  She would do it for me and there is no question I will do what I can for her.  So, as of first thing this morning a restructuring began to enable me to extract myself from here and relocate to Portsmouth for how ever long it takes.  I have been banging on for months about how I am moving my professional life onto the Internet so this will be an early test of how well I am doing. 

It is however, Annie's last day with us so, once my flight was booked, I focused on our day on the island.  We drove to the north of the island to Lochranza with one of Pete's famous picnics.  It is another glorious day on Arran so the whole journey sparkled as well it should.  Stopping off at various points to explore and take photographs and, importantly, spot deer.  A small issue, however, was the distinct lack of deer spotting talent in the car aside from myself.  The slight problem we had there is that I was driving the car along Arran roads and should not have been looking for the deer.  Driving is not one of my talents and I can only ever drive and not consider trying to anything else at the same time.  Despite this I did see some deer and on the way back spotted the most impressive stag I think I have ever seen on Arran.  I have been deer spotting on Arran since I was a small child. 

I did manage to get us all to Lochranza in one piece and we sat on the edge of the shore with our lovely picnic.  A pair of Oystercatchers bleated at us in objection for a while.  I have quite decided that coming back as an Oystercatcher could have its merits as that noise is deeply irritating.  I can do deeply irritating if I try hard enough!  One of my favourite things to do on the island is to sit and look at sailing boats all bobbing about on the water.  There is something very calming about that and today was no exception.  Lochranza is really the most beautiful place but I always feel that it is the end of the world.  I feel like if I sailed away in one of those little boats I would fall off the end. 

No visit to Lochranza is complete without a coffee at the Distillery.  A lovely art exhibition by an amazing man who works in a orphanage in Nepal took my breath away.  Not only is he a talented artist but he also knows how to release the talent in the children and their art was on display as well.  Sales from this exhibition is to raise funds for art materials for the next year.  There really are some special people in the world. 

A gentle drive back home and a chance to reflect on what has been a lovely week with Annie.  It has been wall to wall sunshine and calmness and I have loved every minute of it.  Annie departs on the early ferry tomorrow but leaves armed with estate agent details.....watch this space!

As it is the summer solstice we are out with friends this evening which will just tie off the visit nicely.  Then tomorrow I will pick up the reins of organising my departure while making sure the children have all they need to carry on without me for a while.  It will mean that I will miss seeing Molly off to her job on the Isle of Eigg but she is more than capable of sorting all that for herself.  All four children are very capable individuals and will cope fine without me for a while.  They also know that I am needed elsewhere and wouldn't have it any other way. 

I spoke to a friend yesterday who has children that are coping with a very difficult time at the moment.  Children never cease to amaze me and I have worked with them all my adult life.  I firmly believe that if we do not learn from our children we are somehow missing the point.  So, I will take the lead from my children and do what needs to be done in the full knowledge that they will be absolutely fine.  Incredibly proud mummy moment!



Until tomorrow. xx

Day 171 - Restored with your help. xx

Thursday 20th June

Firstly, and importantly, thank you so much for all the messages of support over my hissy fit over the cutting down of all the wildflowers yesterday.  I did think some of you might think me a little foolish but so many of you took the time to email me to encourage me in this little fight of mine that I felt quite restored.  More than that many of you are prepared to help and are now planting wildflowers in your gardens and that is the very best of news.  I am recharged and will, indeed, contact the National Trust of Scotland and see what they have to say.  I am expecting them to defend their actions by diverting me towards the wildlife garden at the other end of the Castle grounds.  Of course, if they do they have rather missed the point.  But let us see if they reply and what they say.  I will 'keep you in the loop.'

Annie and I have had a lovely series of days enjoyed in full sunshine and today was no different.  Annie is an animal communicator and healer and her work is utterly fascinating.  She kindly took a session with George and Max while Pete and I went to collect our girl from the ferry.  It is so lovely to have Molly home for a few days before she does a little trip back to Lincoln to spend time with her man.  Then we have her back for another two days before she takes off for the Isle of Eigg to take up the post of assistant warden.  Regular readers will know that she will be there for a month and I am joining her for the final week as I am writing an article on a project the islanders are running.  I am not always successful with independent travel now so I am keeping everything crossed that I am fit to go.  Strictly between you and me....I am going anyway!!

Annie has fallen so in love with the island that she is considering a move here.  Her house in Derbyshire is already on the market so we shall see.  Arran is not right for everyone but I can see Annie being very happy here.  Today we went across the Ross road today which cuts across the bottom third of the island and allows us to take in the south end.  It was as we approached Kildonan that Annie started getting very excited.  I can see Annie here and I think she could too.  It was time to pull off the road and get a cold drink and soak up the view. 


A gentle, warm breeze washed over us and it was another example where we could have stopped time.  Sitting there looking out to sea you get that feeling that this is what life is really about.  The light glinting off the sea takes you to a different place and time and I love that feeling of inner peace.  We did, indeed, lose time and scrambled off to find a house we had seen for sale before heading back to Whiting Bay.

Annie asked me today what were the disadvantages of living on Arran and I could only think of the midges.  They are not always present and not always a problem but I struggle more than most because I am a grower and therefore outside a lot.  I also have a reaction to their bites which makes life a little challenging as well.  I am always trying new things to try and deter them and I never give up hope.  Other issues were teased out of me especially anxiety when Molly is travelling home and we are unsure whether the ferry will sail due to high winds.  But, in all honesty, I struggled with Annie's question.  For me island living is a little haven and a great place for our children to grow up.  It brings me joy on a daily basis and it is where I call home.  I feel completely connected to the natural world here and yet I can operate my professional life with a little help from the Internet.  I can be in the centre of Glasgow in less than two hours where there are more shops, galleries and restaurants than I could count and then I get the ferry home again.  I know of worse commutes than that. 

It is often when you are sharing where you live with visitors that you realise just how lucky you are.  But I am not sure I even needed that because I count my blessings on a daily basis. 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 170 - Mind battles that I simply must win. xx

Wednesday 19th June

Two things collided this morning and I had to dig deep to stay calm.  The council came and cut down our wildflower hedgerow that borders our property because that is what these people do.  You all know how much I love wildflowers so this was difficult for me.  Pete did try and stop them but, of course, it is more than their jobs worth and all that.  They did agree to leave the section at the top so I will focus on that.  The other part of the collision was far more palatable because Pete, Annie and I finished planting out all the cut flower plants which included many options for the bees and butterflies.  I will focus on that as well. 

Getting away from Hazelbank this afternoon was welcomed to allow my mind to process the events of the morning. Some of you will, no doubt, mourn with me as you saw the picture of my hedgerow last week when I contrasted it with our neighbours. I celebrated that too early because it is all gone now.  When I lived in Bakewell I campaigned so hard to stop the council cutting the water meadows before the end of July after self seeding has taken place.  I am obviously going to have a similar battle here.  I won in Bakewell and I will win here.  It may just take some time. 

My therapy is always a wander round the gardens at Brodick Castle and so off we went and my mood soon lifted.  The egg mayonnaise sandwich and orange and cranberry cake may have helped as well.  I may not have an important looking camera but my sexy little red number does have a few different programmes so I had a lovely couple of hours playing with it.  I do a lot of black and white photography in the winter when the natural shapes are so distinctive but I rarely shoot black and white in the summer.  So, today I have changed some of that and I am surprisingly pleased with the results.  Bit by bit and shot by shot I am now building up an image bank to use in my meditation through writing course and beyond.  I am always on the look out for images that tell their own story and allow us to find our stories within as well. 




With the events of the morning behind me the last place to visit was the walled garden.  Once again I was met with a mental collision.  Last year the National Trust had taken four large borders and planted wildflowers in them.  I had hoped they would repeat that this year.  Sadly, that is not the case as we could clearly see as the gardeners were busy planting up their annuals.  Worse than that many of them were double blooms making it impossible for the bees and butterflies to collect pollen.  The other side of this collision featured the outside borders of the garden which are full of beautiful perennials all starting to burst into bloom.  I focused on that as you can tell from the photos. 

Beyond that, the pond areas were the real highlight with the Irises and the Primula both in full glory.  It is a bit early to see dragonflies but the pond was teaming with life and that, in itself, is very rewarding.  The colours danced by the side of the water and the whole space stole every scrap of light it could.  We could do very little but stand and stare at what Mother Nature has achieved. 

One can't help thinking that we left more to her and stopped interfering so much the planet would be a far more interesting and engaging place.....

To focus on what is good and positive is my personal intention in life so I have let go of the welling anger and taken myself out of that moment.  Maybe I will take on the National Trust of Scotland one day?  What do you think?  Could I win that battle as well?

That is for the future but for today I celebrate two happenings beyond Mother Nature.  The first being that Waverly Fitzgerald is revising her book Slow Time and I am playing a small part in that process.  Regular readers will know how this amazing woman transformed my life and so you will also know how thrilled I am about the revision process.  The second celebration is that I have added two more pages to my new site One soul, many hearts that will be launched in the autumn.  The first being an easy addition where I offer little gifts to my readers.  These can take the form of a seasonal recipe, gardening tip or guided meditation or, indeed, anything in between!  For me this captures the spirit of the entire site which is one of sharing.  The second is Seasonal Creativity where I will post creative projects that help us all stay in the season and use these inspirations to feed our creativity.  New pages don't get added easily and many end up on the 'cutting floor' of my mind so these two have done very well indeed and should be proud of themselves. 

I am tired so I will just drift towards the end with some more photos from Brodick Castle which is my idea of heaven - least it will be when I have taken on and won the battle with the National Trust! 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 169 - Our perfect day. xx

Tuesday 18th June

Annie and I have had what is probably a perfect day and we feel truly blessed.  We headed off to the other side of the island to Machrie Bay for a look round the Old Byre shop and lunch at their restaurant.  As we turned shore side again on the western coast of Arran there was nothing to do but stop and get out for a wander along the beach.  The light on the west side of the island draws you in and the air is as clean as it gets.  You have a real chance to get up close and personal with Mother Nature and we didn't miss that opportunity.  A short wander along the beach was halted by manic calling only to discover a pair of Oystercatchers objecting to us.  We were obviously too close to their young so we turned to stroll the other way.  Within a few short minutes an identical manic calling erupted as another pair of Oystercatchers made their objections felt.  I loved that.  This was Oystercatcher land and we were only welcome if we sat on the green bench provided and watched from a distance. 

We did as we were told and sat down to breathe in that glorious air and look out to sea.  I sat among the wildflowers and within minutes was joined by a honey bee feeding off white clover.  For that short time the world stopped and we were silent while the natural world sang its tunes. Behind us were the hardy Machrie sheep and in front the adorable Oystercatchers.  In the cliffs above we spotted two seagull nests with one mum sitting.  If I am honest I am not sure it gets any better than that. 




Back in the car we turned into the Old Byre which has been through the most amazing transformation in the past couple of years.  Their brand new shop was a delight and after polishing Annie's credit card we then retreated into their restaurant for lunch.  Influenced by the Turkish co-owner the restaurant serves the most wonderful menu including their own bread made in their wood fired oven.  The view out to the bay and the captivating light in the sea rooted us to our seats.  There was simply no reason to move. 

Reluctantly we left the Old Byre and headed back along the string road to the east of the island where most of the islanders live.  Dropping down into Brodick bay is always breath taking but today we pulled off the round to follow a lovely pebble path leading to a circular seat from where the view hangs in the air for your serious consideration.  Annie and I both sat side onto the view facing the side of the hills and gazed long enough to spot the deer grazing. The gentle breeze stroked the cotton grass into the most delicate of dances and, once again we felt blessed. 


Annie has a deep and growing connection with the island and we began considering her plans for the future.  There is a lot of synergy between our two worlds and a real possibly for joint projects in the future.  Energised by the scale of the view and the joy of the deer we headed down the hill.  Almost at the bottom of the hill is an old graveyard.  It is one of my favourite places on the island and last year I wrote one of my favourite ever pieces while sitting in that space.  I felt that I was introducing Annie to some old friends.  You can read my piece on my personal blog.  As we approached the graveyard Annie had her own personal encounter with a gorgeous red squirrel who just lingered long enough to make her presence a strong memory. 

The Isle of Arran is the most beautiful of places and the encounters with the natural world the most special of blessings.  Just a perfect day. 

Until tomorrow. xx