We got well and truly battered last night and there is yet more damage to the smallholding. I have never known such a dreadful run of big storms to hit the island and I think we have all had quite enough now. In the middle of it the emergency helicopter was forced to negotiate a landing and then take off as someone needed emergency care. It is in times like this that you absolutely know that you are living on a small island.
Cocooned in the house over the festive period the 27th always signals the start of a time of reflection in the few days until the new year beckons. I am ridiculously excited about 2014 but I don't want to charge head long into this new year before I reflected on the current one. 2013 has been a barnstorming year with so many developments and new things. I can't be anything but incredibly thankful and I will bottle this feeling and keep it for evermore. I am currently working on that bottle of fabulous things and will share it with you just before the year turns.
I can now tell you that the new Scottish island mum has come into being on a quiet shore of the world wide web where she will remain until she is ready to spread her wings. She is sitting on her site and studying the growing structure with interest. Let's face it the new Scottish island mum could go off in lots of different directions so the structure becomes the single thing that needs pegging before any content can be added. Essentially, it is important to remember the essence of the site as one that belongs entirely to me and my place in this world. It is, however, more than musing and reflections as it rests it's ambitions in a lifestyle context. There is a lot of competition out there is lifestyle blog land so it is important for Scottish island mum to find her own, unique, space.
Your feedback over recent weeks have guided this process with a steady and informed hand and I will be forever grateful. Blogging does more than just reflect life. A committed and dedicated blogger places the process at the heart of the thinking mind and the feeling soul. Blogging allows us to stare at things for longer than we otherwise might and this ensures a growing and developed perspective on life.
I will now be my usual brutal self and tell you that that causes some problems. You start to see things that you might have, otherwise, missed and not all of these things are welcome. By definition the personal blog falls into aspect of our world that are not always attractive. If you marry these experiences up with the inevitable inward looking that goes hand in hand with personal blogging you can be left quite dis-orientated. Looking back on my year of blogging I can spot the times where I have stumbled across something that I am not sure about it and it has caused me to question. Reflecting on this I would say that my 2012 may have had a lot to do with this. In that year I took a 12 month dharma on Buddhism and it constantly questioned and stretched my understanding of humanity. Studying issues such as ego and compassion in real depth inevitably leads to a change of perspective. If I put 2012 and 2013 together I can now clearly see changes in me that are quite fundamental. These changes have not only asked questions of me but those around me and I now find myself in a new place and it is not a place I am, at all, familiar with. Inhabiting this new place with fundamental changes to the way I view the world is, I think, quite isolating.
I am not necessarily using the word isolating in a negative way as I strive to feel more comfortable in my new place. The most obvious change rests in what I now view as important. What we hold as important helps to shape who we are and how we are viewed and understood by others. By placing humanitarian issues at the centre of my being I may have lost contact with some people who have known me for most of my life. My motivations have changed and my perspective on others has changed as well. I remember when Molly went on her first RSPB placement for two weeks. She was really emotional when it came to the time to leave. I understood that as her being in the company of people where, for the first time in her life, no translation was required. She understood them and they understood her. That is what I need to seek now. In shedding so much that was Fiona I have failed to migrate towards people that understand this new place I find myself in. It is not a total picture though because there are clearly lots of people out there that think in a similar way to me, not least many of my Scottish island mum readers.
So, my review for these few precious days before the new year enters our perspectives is to reflect on people I have met along the way on this transformational journey and ensure that my connections with them are secure. Perhaps Waverly Fitzgerald is my best example and this was obvious to me when I read her recent newsletter. Not only do we dwell on similar things in this world but we also face similar challenges in our professional world. No translation needed there.
This reflection might well lead to me waving a gentle and loving goodbye to some people as it becomes clear that we don't connect as we used to and our lives have moved in different directions. Those that have known me a long time know that I have a tendency to 'collect people' and rarely let them go. My sabbatical in the middle of 2013 and my more recent shedding exercise has made me realise that I do need to let some people go if I am to make the contribution to the world that I think my humanity requires of me. I can't help wondering if others feel the same as we welcome a new year? Buddhism teaches us that we should surround ourselves with positive minds that lift us up and enable us to be the best person we can. It also teaches us how to spot egos that are over-rated. I take from this that my pathway into 2014 and beyond will be, by definition, much quieter than was my way but also much more compassionate and understanding. Within that I intend to follow a perennial Buddhist practice which tells us that if we have done all we can for someone but we remain disconnected we should put them in a little boat and let them sail away without us. Wise words.
Until tomorrow. xx
No comments:
Post a Comment