Day 243 - Tis magic! xx

Saturday 31st August

Tomorrow I will begin the final third of the Scottish island mum project and there is much to do with this third.  The months leading to Christmas are some of the busiest of the year on the smallholding and this year we aim to launch Whimsical Wreaths on the island.  It will be a relatively gentle start because our willow crop is in year one but we are all looking forward to getting underway.  It is a new direction for the smallholding and it is not something that can be rushed.  Mother Nature will dictate the pace and we shall do our best to follow.  Wreath making has long been my passion so to be now able to make some of my own bases is a step in the right direction.  Ultimately, we will be extending this business beyond the island but it always feels good to let the islanders give us feedback that will shape the future direction. 

As well as the launch of Whimsical Wreaths we have the products from With Love from Arran to continue making as Christmas is our biggest selling time of the year.  We have events already in the diary but we do not have any products.  This will be a familiar story to regular readers.  I always plan to get ahead but never quite manage it.  It is not that I am disorganised it is that other ideas pop up and rather take over and I suspect I am not alone in this. 

The most dominant distraction is, of course, my new site One soul many hearts which has finally got a lunch date.  It will be launched on Friday October 11th so that gives me just 41 days to get it all ready.  My gliding swan with the desperate paddling is looking less graceful as the days progress but I am buoyed up with the feedback I have already received and, most importantly, the generosity of spirit that has led to so many fine contributions for the site.  I love what happened today.  As a result of lots of feedback confirming that a book review page would be a welcome addition to the site I posted a call for reviews on facebook.  I then head off to the delightful Co-op to do the shopping and on my return a review has already landed in my inbox.  Tis magic!  Magic or not it is incredibly impressive so a big thank you to the lovely lady concerned.  I do want this page to be full of passionate reviews about books that have inspired us and so we are off to a great start.  If readers will forgive me I am going to kick the page off with a review of the book Slow Time by Waverly Fitzgerald.  This is the book that started it all as it made me stop and think more deeply than I had ever done before.  It truly changed my life and set me along my current path and One soul many hearts would not exist without this book.  I will consider it the greatest honour to do a review and I hope that it will set the tone for reviews to come.  If you have a book that has inspired you greatly do consider doing a review as I think it is our way of giving back to the author something of what they have shared between the pages of their book. 

Somebody called me an inspiration today and, although very kind, I think not very true.  Perhaps what I am is someone who likes to take people with her on journeys that ultimately offer great rewards.  For me success is only measured in the context of other people.  Shared success is always such a joy and this is how I see One soul many hearts.  This project has already attracted people to submit writing having never previously written before.  Many contributors are telling me the last time they wrote something was when they were at school.  For some of us that is rather a long time ago.  So perhaps you can sense the thrill of this project and sense the place it could occupy.  We all have moments when we feel a little low and to be able to click onto One soul many hearts and know that you will find something to lift you has to be a good thing.  Perhaps, in the context of the modern world, it is more than a good thing; it is an essential thing.  Our little virtual haven will be updated on a very regular basis bringing something new to refresh our minds and our souls.  Will we be ready in 41 days?  We have to be is the answer to that because the date has been announced.  October belongs to my beloved father who died almost 16 years ago.  It was his birth month so I always take time in October to record some more memories.  He was a writer and I am aspiring to be one so I am dedicating the launch of One soul many hearts to him.  We didn't always see the world the same way but I am who I am because of my father and my mother and it is important to remember that and pay appropriate tributes. 

So as we turn to face September I have hydrangea heads drying all over the house for Christmas wreaths, writing filling my inbox and green tomato chutney to make for Boxing Day.  Just a regular day in the life of Scottish island mum........

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 242 - No previous experience necessary.....xx

Friday 30th August

Our first quite damp day on the island for sometime and perhaps not the best day to take Scott and Molly to the castle.  Sadly, not a day for photographs either so I will have to try again next week.  On the shore the autumn winds are very noticeable now and the leaves are beginning to fall from the trees on our smallholding.  We do need a last blast of summer sunshine to black up our green berries but I can see that the Hazel nuts are doing really well this year.  My tomato plants have been put on their sides for the last few fruits to ripen and the grow bags are being cleared out of the way.  I now need to make space for my bulbs that I plant in a whole range of containers.  Some will be forced for Christmas and others will be left to over winter for flowering next spring.  I have also begun harvesting sweet pea seeds despite some of the stems still flowering.  I think the hedgerow harvesting will be underway earlier this year as I saw some early rosehips down by the shore yesterday.  I use these on my Christmas wreaths along with hedgerow seed heads.  I have written a piece about seasonal wreath making for a course I am on with Waverly Fitzgerald so I intend to publish it on my Seasonal Creativity page on One soul many hearts and will let you know when it is live. 

Let us talk books.  I have an inclination to include a book review page on One soul many hearts where we might share reviews of uplifting books both fiction and nonfiction.  This came to me after an old school friend shared that she was about to start reading To Kill a Mockingbird.  For me, this is the stand out book of that century and my favourite book of all time.  It got me thinking that many of us will have read inspirational books and might like to share a quick review or at least comment on a review that someone else has written.  A good book review never betrays the story but does highlight the things to look out for as well as stating their overall opinion on the read.  I wonder if a page dedicated to sharing reviews of inspirational books might be a useful addition to the site?  I am not interested in reading reviews of poor books and that would not be in keeping with the site.  Do let me know your views on this possible addition to the site while I continue to mull it over. 

Meantime I am continuing to work my way through all the writings that have come in in time for the launch of One soul many hearts.  In the vast majority of cases these writers have not written much, if anything, before and I can not tell you how impressed I am.  People have really responded to the call for pieces that come from the heart and the stories are all the more enriched for this approach.  There is a realism about the writings that allow you to connect with the writer on a level that is rewarding as well as asking for some personal reflection.  Writing that stimulates thought is writing that has achieved something that makes it, somehow, worthy.  This is memorable writing and that is what One soul many hearts is about and I could not be more thrilled. 

I am about to expand the 'pool' of potential writers with call for submissions going out on various writing networks but I will always treasure these embryonic beginnings that have allowed new writers to start the journey of finding their voice.  I remember when I wanted to write a dance degree where applicants did not have to have previous dance experience.  Many people thought I was mad then so not much has changed.  But I will always remember my very favourite final group dance that was made up of students who had never danced until they joined the course.  The piece pushed the boundaries of the dance genre and at the same time created memorable dance language that will stay with me forever.  I have a piece of writing going out for the launch of this new site that I will never forget and the writer has never written anything before.....here we go again. 

Making space for writing from the heart will probably define my work going forward.  The writing coming through from my very first meditation through writing course is testament to this.  These students have spent the past few months digging deeply into their unconscious minds and the writing is getting better and better.  For me, writing must be authentic and this is what is the aim of my online course.  Students are not only discovering a writing voice but they are also finding things that they feel compelled to write about.  One student described herself recently as a 'vessel' as the words flowed from her onto the page.  That is so often the case in writing when you are in the zone and this is just the feedback I needed to extend my online portfolio of courses.  2014 will be a busy year and I hope it will include a month away to finish my novel.  I am completely paranoid that someone else will stumble upon the idea before I have time to write it.  I just need somewhere quiet by myself to get the job done. 

Must dash as Scott and Molly are joining us for supper.  Those of you that know me well will be desperate to know what I think of Molly's boyfriend.  She will quite literally kill me if I say too much so I will keep this short....adorable!

Until tomorrow xx

Day 241 - cooking on gas. xx

Thursday 29th August

The turn to autumn continues on the island and I had quite enough evenings of feeling cold.  So preparations are underway to begin the evening fire in the sitting room and I am autumning (!) up the house to reflect the season.  Check out my Pinterest board to see what I mean.  There is a chill in the air and more cloud cover than we have had of late.  I adore autumn so I am quite happy but it just takes a few days to get used to the drop off of temperatures. 

While we are discussing temperatures I have had the wind taken out of my sails.  For ever I have been behaving rather smugly about the dreaded hot flushes and night sweats while I see my friends inflicted.  Now, all of a sudden, I am under attack.  This will, no doubt, be because of my smugness so I should perhaps just grin and bear it.  That is not happening because they are arriving thick and fast and are more than a small irritant.  A raised temperature is very bad news for fibromyalgia sufferers as it triggers pain so I need to get on with it.  I have begun some research to see what I can bring to this particular party and that doesn't involve hormone replacement treatment.  This girl has to take too many pills as it is.  I have a little rule.  Medication should only ever provide 25% of the solution and the 75% has to come from somewhere else.  My rule is different for the menopausal symptoms and I am bringing it all to the party.  So, I have a piece underway and hope that it might be of use to all ladies of a certain age and if you are a man you need to read it too just to understand how grim it can be.  I do understand that Mother Nature has to have her say at this stage of my life but she needs to tone it down a bit.  Diet is always my starting point for everything and if I tell you that there is no Japanese words meaning hot flushes you will see where I am heading with this.  If Japanese ladies don't have hot flushes nor will I once I have figured out where I am going wrong!  A case of watch this space.....

I am so very busy at the moment in the count down weeks to the launch of One soul many hearts.  Writing is arriving in my inbox daily and all of it is just what the site needs to start gently growing its wings.  I am putting together a publishing schedule and starting to edit the pieces that I want to launch the site.  I am pleased to see most of my students on my meditation through writing course feeling confident enough to put forward some pieces so something must be working for them.  My biggest thrill to date is the addition of 'A side order of Purple' which is to be a fortnightly column written by the lovely Di who gave us Purple is the new Pink a few weeks back.  Di's take on life is such a tonic and I felt we all needed a regular fix.  We shall await it with real anticipation and settle down with a cup of tea and a side order of purple.  Perfect! 

I am continuing with my open call for submissions while encouraging people to view the site to find out what the different pages are all about.  In the next few weeks I will do my first themed submission call and we shall see how that goes.  All the call for submissions will be posted on the one soul many hearts facebook page so keep checking in with it.  If you have an idea for a piece of writing I am always happy to chat it through with you - just message me anytime. 

I am still receiving and responding to emails about my piece 'A soulful spirit' from the day of Paul's funeral.  It is very humbling to think that a piece of writing has touched so many souls and, of course, Paul would be delighted.  Paul was one of the people that encouraged my writing from the start and I feel more determined than ever to keep writing.  What I am so pleased about is that I worked on that piece with help from other people who supplied wonderful photographs and excellent references.  This is a strong signal for what One soul many hearts could become. 

It is writing that has seen me through the darkest of days.  I have a journal that I wrote around the time of my father's death and I think that is where the seeds were sown.  My father would be happy to take the credit so I shall let him!

Today has been a very good day.  A very good friend of mine had a recent health wake up call a few weeks ago and has since made lots of changes for the better.  One of those is to do 30 minutes exercise every day so I have quite decided to keep him company.  I am back into my yoga and today I walked down to the village and back minus my stick.  The fact that everything is now stiff and sore is irrelevant as I did it and that is all I care about.  The sabbatical was such a good idea and has made all the difference in the world to my health.  Less is most definitely more.

Today was also a fabulous day because the adorable little Lottie (who we have all met before) is walking.  She walked into the coffee shop like she had been doing it all her life.  I have a thing about beauty and for me Lottie and her lovely mum, Angie, are such beautiful beings and I love spending time with them.  You will see what I mean from the photos.  Ladies, not the multi-tasking from Angie!

So, Scottish island mum is cooking on gas and all that is left to do is to decide the actual date of the launch of One soul many hearts.  Small matter that may have been rather overlooked.....

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 240 - kindness all wrapped up. xx

Wednesday 28th August

There is so much kindness in the world and it makes living a joy.  I have just spent almost two hours replying to all the kind messages that came in following my soulful spirit post yesterday.  Death is not an easy subject to write about and not one I had anticipated writing about during this year long project.  It has been impossible to avoid with two tragic deaths in as many weeks so I tackled the subject with some trepidation.  It would appear, from the feedback, that my words were welcomed and helpful so I am, of course, relieved and pleased both at the same time.  Paul's candle remained lit all day and well into the night.  In the darkness it looked truly beautiful and I can't help thinking that rather captured his soul. 

 

The kindness continues as pieces of writings are coming in for the launch of one soul many hearts.  Not only is it kind of you to share your stories but many of you are kind in your words for me.  They are really not necessary as I consider it a privilege to be the editor of a site that hopes to share all that is good and positive in the world.  I am working hard at promoting the site and about to enter the world of squidoo which is already proving an interesting experience as I grapple with their software.  I am quite sure everyone else manages quite well but sometimes my brain just can't compute.  With a good dollop of determination I am almost ready to publish and will post the link here.  I do wonder if I might ask a favour?  The best way to promote this new site is one email link at a time that is targeted to friends or family who you believe will appreciate what we are trying to do.  If every one of you could send such an email the site might get more readers once it launches and I might get more people willing to share their experiences and/or creativity. 

And still more kindness......

The kindness came wrapped up in cushions this morning when Me Postman delivered two wonderful butterfly cushions handmade by the lovely Di.  The larger one is for a raffle prize at our final fundraising event for the butterfly tree charity and the smaller one is a gift for me.  I am not sure Di's kindness knows any boundaries and I am most certainly blessed to have her back in my life.  There was a little tear shed for this kindness before the maker in me starting looking closely to see what stitches she had used on the detailing!  Thank you so much Di and my little cushion will be going in my little studio.

 

 

 

 

 

So with all this kindness a girl can not help but be lifted and for that I will be eternally grateful.  Even last night when I was tired and feeling a bit emotional a brilliant facebook banter broke out with two of my old school friends and I giggled my way through the rest of the evening.  Paul and I used to laugh so much so it was a very fitting end to a day that blessed him as he takes his next journey. 

I worked my way through yesterday because that was the only way I knew how to cope and, as a result, got much done.  I have begun the huge task of creating a Pinterest board of my favourite photographs from the Scottish island project.  I am only back to the beginning of July but take a look and see what you think.  The point of the board is for it to act as a memory board that we can all visit from time to remind us of the year with Scottish island mum.  Pinterest will be a major feature on my new site one soul many hearts as this board will aim to share ideas, projects and inspiration that may be of use to the readers.  This board is also underway so have a look to see how it is shaping up.  This board will be changing constantly but the link will always be on the right menu of the home page. 

Moving forward my homework this week for my course with Waverly Fitzgerald is all bout seasonal wreaths so I am creating a piece that I can also share here.  Wreaths are my complete passion and as we start to prepare to launch whimsical wreaths they are in the front of my mind.  A timely homework and something I look forward to sharing. 

I am on my best behaviour at the moment because Molly's boyfriend, Scott, is visiting.  Need I say more?.......

 

Until tomorrow.  Xx

Day 239 - This is the day......xx

Tuesday 27th August
After the joys of yesterday we witness the sadness of today as this day is Paul's funeral.  I am working on my own personal dedication to Paul which I will publish on the day of his memorial later in the year.  Below tells you something of how I am coping with this day.  My thanks to David Newell and Helen Sell for providing me with the photographs and Dianne Cosgrove for leading me to the poem.  xx

A Soulful Spirit

I have not always been a Buddhist.  In fact that has been a fairly recent development in my life but I have always been spiritual.  I have always felt something.  I have always felt connected. 

 

This connection is most profound and vital when I am working with the land and I have a deep and rewarding connection with the seasons.  Recent events have prompted slightly deeper thinking about spirituality and in particular the soul versus the spirit. I have always seen these two things as being different but I have rarely thought much more than that.  I was in the midst of researching some North American Indian customs and rituals when I heard of Paul's illness and then his untimely and tragic death.  My first response was one of drowning as the tragedy of it all came to rest.  But slowly and very quietly my recent research began to poke at my drowning mind like a stick from the river bank and I grasped it and hung on.  The river continued to rush by but I clung onto the readings and the understandings of cultural practices far removed from mine. 

It is fair to say that Buddhism is good with death but it is also fair to say I am less so.  When I lost my father 16 years ago I drowned then and there was no stick from the riverbank so I got lost in the depths of the muddy river for a very long time.  Since my fathers death I have begun to follow the buddhist path and I felt a sense of knowing that I wish I had had back in the day.  It would be logical to expect me to reach to my faith when my drowning for Paul began and, in part, I did.  Buddhism teaches us about the soul and it persuades us to keep calm around the time of death to allow the soul to depart and move on.  I did that to the best of my ability but I was still drowning.  Then came the stick from the most unlikely of sources but it was, for me, a good solid stick capable of holding my weight. 

 

Although at a fairly early stage the understandings of the North American Indians seem to make sense to me.  I found myself persuaded by the belief that the soul lives on beyond death of the earthly body and that it moves onto its next stage in the journey.  The rituals that the tribes engage in are to assist the soul on its way and I found them illuminating and comforting at the same time.  Although differences exists between the tribes there is a generally held belief that, at death, the soul and the spirit separate to follow different paths.  For me, the soul is what made Paul Paul and that has a timeless, ageless life but the spirit is something different.  The spirit is what connected him to the earth and that is, perhaps, less tangible.  But I am happy with that and I am happy to let the spirit float and drift as it needs to until it finds a new place to rest.  My spiritual connection is clear to me and I feel it in all my work with the land and after I am gone I sense it will stay and find another soul to connect with the land. 

Grief is a natural part of death and the North American Indians do not shy away from it.  They embrace it with ritual and tears and this shows respect for the departed soul while soothing their own souls.  I am a simple girl so my ritual is simple too.  Today on the day of Paul's funeral I have lit a candle and it will stay lit all day.  I will spend some time sitting quietly with the candle and think of how blessed I am to have known Paul. 

 

 

                   BED IS TOO SMALL

Bed is too small for my tiredness.

Give me a hilltop of trees.

Tuck a cloud up under my chin.

Lord, blow the moon out, please.

Rock me to sleep in a cradle of dreams,

Sing me a lullaby of leaves.

Tuck a cloud up under my chin,

Lord, blow the moon out, please.

 

 

 

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 238 - An incredibly special day. xx

Monday 26th August

We are celebrating the first of three important birthdays in almost as many months as Harry turns 18 today.  George will be next with his 16th and last, but not least, Molly will be 21 in November. 

Harry is a truly remarkable human being and it is a privilege to be his mother.  He joined the family when Molly was almost three and from almost day one had us all in stitches.  That young baby knew how to make us laugh and he also knew how to get up on his feet.  At 10 months old he stood up and walked to the bottom of the stairs.  He wanted to climb them and that was clearly the fastest way of getting there!

Throughout his early life he developed his sense of humour and then one day it just stopped and we lost our little boy for a while.  That roughly coincided with him starting school so after a few years of watching him become more and more unhappy we took him and his younger brother, George, out of school and we have never looked back since. 

Slowly Harry's sense of humour returned and we had our precious boy back.  Harry is remarkable in so many ways but they perhaps all come from the size of his heart.  He is, without doubt, the most compassionate person I know and I have learnt so much from him.  He has a strong sense of natural justice that has steered him through his youth well.  In our eyes Harry has been an adult for some years but now it is official and gets to buy his dad a pint.  Harry began work at an organic vegetable farm at the beginning of the growing season and he has worked so very hard and his time keeping has been exemplary.  He has had just one day off when he had a very nasty chest infection.  His boss can not get over our Harry and says he is excited about potential growth now Harry is on board.  All this speaks volumes about his work ethic and we could not be more proud.

So, as he turns 18 I am excited about his future as he juggles a physically demanding job and distance learning study.  But it is somehow more than that.  It is about being blessed to have someone in your family that is completely and utterly dependable and a source of great joy.  He sets the very best example to his two younger brothers and that is important in the context of a larger family. 

 

In recent days he has had to step up and support his best friend through the most testing of times and that has, for me, illustrated the measure of the man.  With all the love I can muster 'Happy Birthday' Harry. 

Until tomorrow.  Xx

Day 237 - an island mourns. xx

Sunday 25th August

It is the most beautiful day on the island but it is very quiet in our little village as we mourn the loss of a special member of our community.  Ian drove a taxi on the island but was an ex head teacher and a wonderful character.  The circumstances are not yet clear but he died late Friday night in a car accident.  There were no other vehicles involved and the investigation is on going.  Sadly, Ian was not found until the Saturday morning.  The terrible news spread very quickly and I am confident that those close to him would now know so I can say more than I could yesterday.

Not only have we lost a great island character but Ian was 'Pops' to Harry's best friend Ciaran.  Ciaran loved his grandfather very much and lives with his grandparents so you can all imagine how hard this is for him.  Our hearts go out to Ciaran and his family at this incredibly sad time.  Watching Harry and his mates being there for their friend yesterday made us sad and proud both at the same time.  The lads have good strong bonds and this will see them through.  All us oldies can do is support from the wings. 

My first blog on January 1st began a project full of anticipation and hope and it could not have known the ups and downs of the year that lay ahead.  The last few weeks have really tested me and I feel responsible that all this sadness has been shared more widely than it would normally be.  But that is the integrity of the project as its aim was to track my life every day for a year.  I am resisting the temptation for my brain to start thinking 'what is next?'  What will be will be and I will cope with it all because that is what life is about.  Harry is 18 tomorrow and we will celebrate it but perhaps in a slightly more low key way as that is what he wants.  Molly is home and we will love spending time with her because that time is so precious.  None of that means that we forget Paul or Ian as they are both in our thoughts constantly.  Life has to go on but perhaps with a little of the polish removed for a while.

The last few weeks have galvanised my belief further in my new site One soul many hearts.  The whole reason for setting this up was to create a space for all that is good and positive.  We spend so much of our lives online that I just wanted to create a space where we could visit from time to time and find some joy.  A space that shares inspirational writings and images that make us smile.  It is perhaps too easy to focus on the horrid things in our lives and the Internet is full of those sorts of stories.  One soul many hearts is conceived by a combined soul that is driven by many kind and sharing hearts and I am really excited about it.  Writings are starting to come in for publication and they have all made me smile in one way or another.  Some are about hope, some about achievement and some about aspiration but they are all heart warming and inspirational.  I do hope as many of you as possible will pop over to the site as often as possible and I am always looking for people to share positive experiences in writings and images so do get in touch if you would like to contribute.  I am planning to launch the site in October but have set up a facebook page associated with the site so that you can all see how the build up to launch date is going.  I would be thrilled to have you guys 'like' the page as that way you will always know what is going on.  I will be putting regular calls for submissions on there and if you could share with your facebook friends that would be just perfect.  I believe that One soul many hearts could grow some seriously large wings and when it takes flight it will have us all looking skywards for a while. 

I have a small story to share that perhaps illustrates what I mean.  I have two nieces called Rachael and Sarah and they came to see us all on Arran in May.  I introduced them to the butterfly tree charity work that we have been busy with and they made a flag for the new schoolroom in Zambia.  I then packed them off with resources so they could make more.  The two enterprising angels went home and made flags to order for their friends and also did a cake sale.  They raise almost £25.00 and the picture shows then handing the money over.  Both the girls know exactly what they were raising money for and how many mosquito nets their money could buy.  But there is more to it than that because these girls want to help children who are less fortunate than them and that really sung out from all their efforts.  It is a wonderful story and one that deserves to be shared and so I am sure you will all join me in thanking the two very gorgeous angels, Sarah and Rachael. 

I will end today with some images of my flowers that I used as a demonstration on the course yesterday.  I turn to flowers for support all the time because they really know how to lift a girl.  This pedestal arrangement attempts to capture all that is autumn colour in flower land. 

Good night Ian, sleep tight.

 

 

 

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 236 - A tragic day on the island. xx

Saturday 24th August

There has been a terribly tragic accident on the island.  I don't want to say too much as news has not reached everyone yet but I also don't think it would be appropriate to blog about how lovely my day has been.  We did have a lovely flower course so I am just going to post photos for you to see how clever the girls on the course were.  Right now I have a son who needs me so I will speak more tomorrow.  xx

 

 

Day 235 - the days are turning. xx

Friday 23rd August

There is a gentle breeze over the island today that is telling us that it is autumn.  The coolness and the slight dampness makes me think of autumn morning mists which I love.  I love how the mist sits just above the grass.  We were blessed last night with the most impressive orange full moon topped off with a lit up cruise ship sailing across the bay.  I would show you a picture but my camera is not capable of such things. 

Tomorrow is my final flower course for the summer season and then we shall be into flowers for Christmas and wreath making.  I can't say too much about the course because I know some of the people coming read my blog.  Suffice to say that it is an advanced course dealing with design led flower arrangements for special occasions.  It is quite testing but always incredibly rewarding.  I am continuing to harvest for the winter flowers and wreaths but the constant rain showers are not helping my task.  You should never harvest when the plants are wet otherwise they will rot during the drying process.  If your mint is flowering harvest that and hang it upside down in small bunches as these will be a lovely addition to your wreaths this year.  Scabious is a lovely flower and holds its shape and colour when drying so do harvest them if you have them. 

Scabious is my favourite wedding flowers as it is so robust.  Pete and I are working up our plans for the off season and hoping to more than treble flower production for next year.  I always said I would get back into weddings when I could supply the vast majority of the flowers myself.  When I lived in Derbyshire we did some lovely weddings and used a combination of our own farm flowers and blooms from the Sheffield flower market. 

 

I worked very closely with brides and grooms to design the flower plan and we used to make mood boards which was great fun.  I also ran bespoke flower schools for brides and their friends/family so that they could learn the necessary skills to do some of their own flowers.  This way I really got to know the bride well and that was always so useful in planning her day.  I used to giggle because on their first consultation they would say a colour for their flowers as that was usually as far as their thinking had gone.  By the end of the consultation this colour had been absorbed into a design concept and that usually featured in all areas of the day.  The concept might be 'elegant' or 'rustic' for example, but it really extended their thinking.  We also did wedding favours so we could tie those into the day.  I always think that it is the small touches that make the day personal and so special. 

So, I look forward to getting back into wedding flowers but I am also considering offering a flower service to local hotels and B&Bs during the tourist season and perhaps again around Christmas.  We shall have to see how many flowers I have got first and that might have to be for the following year. 

I am onto the final stage of design for my Christmas wreaths this year and this is always an exciting time.  It is especially exciting this year as we will be coppicing some of our own willow for bases.  We shall still have to buy some in but it is a start and that is important.  We will definitely have enough willow to make simple willow decorations and that is something we can all do. 

So it is a change in the season and a time to gather everything in that we need.  I am still harvesting and drying seeds and will post details of any excess seeds in due course in case any of you can use them.  We had a lovely walk with lots of dogs today to collect driftwood for the course tomorrow.  Let us see what the girls make of their challenge tomorrow! 

Can I just say a huge thank you to Clare.  Clare is a student on my meditation through writing course and she made us a beautiful beaded butterfly for our end of campaign raffle.  We are really touched Clare, thank you so much.  I also want to announce that the lovely Di is joining the writing team on One soul many hearts and she is also taking on some editorial duties.  So our wings are spreading.....

Until tomorrow. Xx

Day 234 - A real horror story. xx

Thursday 22nd August

It is not often that I watch the news especially late in the evening as it is beyond depressing.  I was on my ipad last night when the programme I had been half watching drifted into the news.  Words fail me at this point to describe the horror that unfolded on the screen.  Syrian children clearly suffering from some sort of chemical weapon attack and it was so incredibly painful to watch.  The news reporter scuttled onto the next item but I was left wondering what on earth I had just seen.  I do not often comment on the news as it is so often politically driven and hyped by the media and both discourses leave me cold.  But it would be impossible not to comment on this awful situation in Syria.  I have rather lost the plot regarding what this war is about but I suspect so have the people.  Any war that goes on this long becomes about the war not the cause.  There can be no cause worth what we saw last night and what those poor children suffered.  Many of the children died and it became clear that something needs to be done.  The reporters were full of the politics of it all while I am shouting at the television 'children have died the most horrid death and we are talking politics!,

It is sometimes difficult to live in this world and I think many societies think they have it right when they clearly do not.  We once studied the United Nations in home school and I remember being shocked at how little difference this body can make particularly if a fast reaction is required.  The UN, like many international bodies, is bound up in red tape and this hampers what can be achieved.  The situation in Syria demonstrates that so well when we have UN representatives in the city but unable to visit the district where this attack happened.  We have got this so wrong.  As individuals we feel so helpless and even after donating to the current Save the Children Syria appeal I felt no better. 

At the root of this is anger and anger is something I have spent some time reflecting on.  I am sure we have all experienced anger and know it to be a negative and destructive emotion.  I was angry last week with cancer as it stole another dear friend but I couldn't stay angry.  Buddhism teaches us a great deal about anger and how to deal with it and I am grateful for that.  I do, however, see anger everywhere in everyday situations and I do want to shake angry people.  It is far too easy to get locked into our anger and let it begin to dictate our behaviour and our every thought.  But, ultimately, it gets us nowhere and just makes us stressed and we all know how I feel about stress. 

It is hard not to be angry at the people who used chemicals to attack these helpless children but if we meet anger with anger we get nowhere.  I believe we should do far more in our communities to deal effectively with anger.  Children need to learn how to deal with anger and schools can play a big part in that.  However, it is in the home where I believe we have the best opportunities.  Parents must consider the part that anger plays in them and do what they can to eradicate it from their behaviour.  If we all took some time to think of the situations that lead to an angry response we might be able to start working towards more appropriate responses.  From transient road rage to angry outbursts to our partners and everything else in between.  If we can raise our children in a less angry environment we are doing a really good thing.  I have friends and family members who get contorted by their anger and it is no way to live a life. 

The quality of living is in the front of my mind at the moment after Paul's untimely death.  I have spent some time adjusting our family diet to include more cancer busting foods and I am building more time into the day for exercise.  But the news report last night made me think about our mental health and I think there is more to be done there.  It may be that this is a little neglected and that may be a problem for wider society.  We have brought our children up to be empathetic and compassionate beings but it is important not to be complacent.  So I am going to invest a bit more time in home school concentrating on our mental health and see where that takes us.  It is a small contribution but it is a real contribution. 

I have found Mark Choono's account on Syria a comfort as it illustrates some of the good that is being done.  I am now following the UNICEF's response to the crisis on their facebook page and feel more informed about events and possibilities for hope. 

Although a Buddhist I have respect for all religions and I found this prayer on the Mission World web site.  Perhaps those of us who feel comfortable could all say this prayer in the hope that peace may soon come to the country and, indeed, all countries with internal conflicts. 

Pray for Syria as instability continues through fighting, as social and economic upheaval continues, for unemployment and currency collapse. Pray too for the United Nations and other surrounding nations as solutions and peace are sought.

Until tomorrow. xx

Day 233 - Need better sleep? xx

Wednesday 21st August

It is fair to say that Scottish island mum does not always sleep well.  It kind of goes with the territory of a chronic illness.  That said, over the years, I have tried and tested numerous sleep strategies and some have worked better than others.  Logging onto facebook this morning illustrated quite clearly that others struggle with sleep as well.  I thought I might use my blog post today just to share my experience in the hope that some of it might be useful.  I am rather buoyed up by the wonderful feedback I have received from publishing my stress busting manifesto but, as always, take what you can from it and ignore the rest. 

Sleep deprivation is not to be considered lightly.  Over time it can lead to health problems so it is best to try and do something about it.  It is really important to note we make very personal responses to sleep strategies and it can take some time to find the one that works for us.  I have been offered sleeping pills in the past but always refused them preferring my home grown ideas.  Over the years I have experimented with lots of different strategies to help me sleep and I don't think that journey is over yet.  Sometimes a strategy will work for a while and then stop working and I have to try something different or revisit a strategy that worked some time ago. 

I believe that you have to train your mind and body to sleep especially in times when there is a lot going on in your life.  It can be very difficult to switch off at night and there lies the problem for many of us.  Be careful that you are not carrying stress into your bed at night; you need to find a way to park it at the door.  I would just say that as a 'woman of a certain age' sleep can be problematic especially when you wake following a hot flush and instantly fear you have wet the bed!  But there doesn't have to be anything wrong in our lives for poor sleep patterns to take a hold of us and, once they have, they are difficult to get rid of. 

I am very sure that there is not a quick cure out there and I have learned to be patient with this particular problem as the solution can take time to find.  The quality of sleep is important as well.  A deeper sleep will always restore you better than a fitful sleep where you keep waking up and/or shifting position. 

Keeping a regular sleeping schedule is the first thing to try to improve your sleeping patterns.  Go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time the next morning.  There is a lot to be said for uncovering your natural sleep schedule when you are on a break from work and therefore not controlled by the alarm clock.  Go to bed at the same time but without an alarm clock and see what time you wake up naturally.  Once a pattern emerges you will get a sense of how many hours you need and once normal life routines are re-established set your sleep schedule to ensure you are getting the right amount of sleep. 

In order for your sleep schedule to work you have to pay attention to your waking time during the day.  Exposure to natural light is really important especially in a time when computer screens are so much a part of our days.  Try to remove sunglasses for periods of time in the morning to allow natural light onto your face.  Take regular breaks from your work and go outside in search of natural light.  In the winter natural light is more of an issue so consider investing in a light box for your home to ensure you are getting exposure to that type of light during your day. 

If you need the natural light during the day you need to also consider light in the dark evenings and at night.  Lots of people I know, including my husband, fall asleep in front of the television.  This is about the worst thing you can do as it sets you up for a very poor nights sleep.  If you feel sleepy after supper make sure you do something active to keep awake until it is time for your sleep schedule.  Switch the television and computer screen off at least an hour before your bedtime as the light from these places is not conducive to sleep.  Ipads and other back lit devices are possibly the worst for this and if you use an e-reader light it from an additional source like a lamp.  Limit the amount of light in or near your bedroom and use a torch if you need the bathroom in the night.  Never put bright lights on as your body will immediately start to awaken. 

Your bedroom should be sleep friendly which means the bed needs to be comfortable, the room cool and the room away from noise.  Training your mind and body for sleep involves routine and it can take time to find the right routine for you.  Warm (but not hot) baths with aromatherapy oils such as lavender are a good starting point.  Use small lights such as candles while in the bath to start the process of reducing light.  Try to use soy wax candles rather than paraffin wax candles as they are much better for you.  Avoid caffeine in the evening as that is a stimulant but a warm mug of milk or herbal tea are soothing and may help.  Listening to gentle music is also a useful thing to try as is reading for a short period of time.  Make sure your reading material is not to heavy as that will cause your brain to work harder at a time when it needs to be slowing down. 

I do gentle stretches before I get into bed but that is because if I don't I will seize up in the night.  But I have friends who do them as well as a way to get tossing and turning under control.  Scent is a very important part of the sleep routine.  We researched this years ago when we first established our herb business.  We experimented with herbal sleep recipes used by the North American Indians and made dream pillows that you place under your pillow at night.  As you head moves in the night it continually releases the relaxing aromas.  Our dream pillows are located in every continent in the world so there must be something in it.  You can, of course, use a few drops of a relaxing essential oil on a tissue and place that under your pillow.  Just be sure that the scent is not too strong otherwise you will reverse the potential effect. 

It is really important not to eat a heavy meal in the evening as that will activate your digestion system and your body will stay awake and you will feel uncomfortable.  If you are hungry before bed try eating a banana or a small bowl of granola.  Never eat chocolate before you go to bed as that is a stimulant as is alcohol. 

Exercise during the day is a really important part of your sleep schedule.  Just 30 minutes exercise a day such as a brisk walk can make all the difference.  Day to day stress can have an impact on your sleep and severe stress can cause you serious sleep problems.  Learning to live productively with stress was the underpinning strategy for my stress busting manifesto so you may find some useful strategies there.  The main thing to remember is that worries always seem much worse at night so you need to learn to park them at the door and not let them into your bedroom.  Some of my friends write some 'next day notes' and leave them pinned to the fridge and completely away from the bedroom.  I use simple visualizations and meditations just before I try to sleep and it calms me down.  A few deep breaths can work wonders for some people.  Experiment with different ways of dealing with stress and  anxiety until you find one that works for you.

Lastly, aim for relaxation rather than sleep.  Lying there worrying about not being able to sleep really won't help and will impair sleep.  When those thoughts start to creep in use some favourite thoughts to stop them taking hold.  Just concentrate on keeping your body relaxed and your mind will calm down.  Don't put pressure on yourself to sleep. 

Of course, if you suffer from serious sleep deprivation and feel sleepy during most of your days you should visit your doctor for a check up.  I like my doctor, he is a lovely man but I do try and work out my own sleep schedule and so far it has worked quite well.  I have had to accept that some nights the pain is too bad to sleep but I still stay in bed and rest for as long as possible.  For me, it has been all about adjustments. I am hoping that pain is not stopping you sleep and the things that are might be more under your control.  If you suffer from poor sleep you do, of course, have my sympathy and I do hope this blog post most might be of some use.

Until tomorrow.  xx

Day 232 - A very special moment in this project. xx

Tuesday 20th August

I am getting much better at this sabbatical thingy that I have going on.  I am spending so much more time writing as a result and I think my little ship has set a new course.  This morning I have been engaged in a range of writing tasks including -

• my final draft of an article about the Isle of Eigg for Waverly Fitzgerald
• responding to writings from two students currently studying my meditation through writing course
• continuing to write my new course Mindfulness Gardening that begins in January 2014

I feel a growing sense of purpose about my writing as a clearer direction is emerging.  I think this will steer my little ship on a true and useful course.   I do like to be useful.

My thinking is being pricked rather by a return to research that I began some years back.  When we established our herb business I became fascinated in how the North American Indians use herbs both today and in their past.  I used their obvious knowledge to create the recipes that we still use in our dream pillow range.  Recently, I have found myself looking back to look forward with this research and today a second hand copy of American Indian Healing Arts arrived and I have had to be very disciplined.  It is sitting on the seat next to me begging to be opened but it will have to wait until I am further into my day. 

Today is a very special day for me because you guys all get to meet the lovely Di.  I have spoken about how this blog has rekindled a very close friendship between Di and myself and that will always be one of the greatest achievements of this project.  Di is unique and I know no one like her.  She is an intelligent soul that has discovered a humorous relationship with the world and this is infectious.  Di and I have worked together in the past and we are now working together and it is my personal dream team.  Of course, we can not say exactly how we are and will be working together as we have no worked that out yet.  We are hoping for some time together in the autumn for planning so I will update you all then.  Meantime here is Di's first piece which I know you will like.  As with all my guest bloggers do give us some feedback if you can because it always helps a writer's voice grow.

Purple is the new Pink…..

I never really did ‘DO’ pink – probably a good thing really, as with my sports-mad boys and husband, all traces of pink are very quickly neutralised.

But then I can make a pretty good job of that too: nail varnish chips in seconds, coffee spills down new tops and passing, freak rain-showers reduce me to instant be-dragglement. I’ve always been much more craft and garden, where nails hair and make-up have little place!

My sister tried to rally me to the pink cause when my niece was born, 6 months after my youngest son. She was followed by 2 nephews – who love our ‘blue’ house, and thunder in, whooping and whirling to rummage the car box and uncover the light-sabres. The pink aura was short-lived !

So, Blue is the colour… I am long since resigned to never having the use of the TV controller, nor even having time to watch anything I might have, optimistically recorded for myself. I’m completely at ease with amused, knowing nods between Dad and boys if I venture to suggest that I might make or do something crafty ! I spend my winter weekends wrapped up against cold and wet for football matches and training; and summer, well, ditto really – just swap to  cricket pitches, punctuated by the occasional day when we all exclaim that this “is more like it”… all the time with that running sub-title of “Mum, could you just…” and “ what’s for tea, Mum, I’m starving…?”

Despite all this, small ‘pinkisms’ have been allowed in, and are quietly thriving… the first being my pink tool kit. This is a “must have” kit for mums like me – just a couple of pink screwdrivers, pink pliers and a pink hammer – but it’s AMAZING how they are always exactly where I left them when I need them ! To my amusement, MY kit is frequently borrowed, but always returned – as let’s face it, no self-respecting teenage boy wants to be found with a pink screw-driver in his possession!

So, with another winter evening of sport on TV looming… probably Where’s-that United  v Somewhere on Sea , so I retreated with my Ipad and a glass of wine to “my” room. The national news was reporting that Arran had been hit by power cuts, and I was curious. Imagine my delight when I ‘googled’ across Scottish Island Mum…. From here I have re-connected with my dear friend, and seeds of pink, creative inspiration were re-established and sowed in my mind….

And… the results of all this have made me take a bit of time for myself from time to time, and transformed that knowing eye-roll to an “oh wow, Mum”… 2 nil the pinks, me thinks!

So here’s my current recipe for sanity: Take a few moments of pink from time to time, stir it in well to all the blue, and you can achieve a rather lovely shade of purple!

Traditionally, my niece’s birthday becomes the annual, whole family homage to “pink” – an event to which ‘the cousins’ are invited and expected,  and are subjected to as much pink, girliness as possible…, my boys of course regard this as a form of abject torture!
However, all changed this year at age 10. Apparently pink “just won’t do”… “Purple is the new pink”, and “pink is for losers”

So with Dad on cricket duty and a frankly, glorious day, I had, for once, some time to myself to pot, plant and weed. Surrounded by bees buzzing, the scent from the Lavenders ( my favourites) , Wisteria (actually, that’s a favourite too), Scabious and other (purple) bee-friendly flowers that Fiona has inspired me to add to my modest garden this year, and I realise that, actually, my niece is right…                               

Purple IS the new pink !

 

 

 

Perfect Di, until tomorrow.  xx