Friday 8th October
A very fitting tribute to Paul but I was the wreck I knew I would be but it is done. Attending such an event with people you worked closely with 10 years earlier is completely fascinating. The first thing that was immediately obvious was the enduring friendships we still shared. The next thing that became obvious was that colleagues, still at the university, hold very dear the days at the beginning as the school took shape. These were the trailblazing days and I was privileged to be part of them. The bonds we formed back in the day are so evident today as we regrouped to celebrate the life of one of us no longer here.
I was always particularly close to the admin team. There were those amongst us that were deeply hierarchal believing that lecturers were, somehow, more more important than administrators. Those of us that were far more sensible knew that the school depended on the admin team for its every breath. I have always been a team player. It occurred to me yesterday that Paul was the same so I understood a new connection that we had. Both Paul and I led teams but I think we did it in a way that took the team with us and that offers the best of all rewards. A shared achievement is an achievement indeed.
Catching up with everyone took me back to my previous life in a heartbeat as we cackled our way through the various stories. I noticed how we all subconsciously fell into old habits. When we were being called into the theatre people waited for me to step forward and then I heard an ex colleague say that they didn't have a tissue. This was met with a unanimous call that 'Fiona would have a tissue'. Some things never change.
At the end of the event we reversed roles as ex colleagues and students gathered around to support me. I had not come through it well but I was deeply touched by the support and it will stay with me always.
In the bar afterwards it became easier as we delved deeper into old stories and laughed and laughed. We gossiped as well as we ever did and smiled from somewhere deep within. I tried so hard to get round everyone and I think I managed it. My bright red coat may have helped as people kept telling me they were looking through the sea of bodies for the red coat. I smiled again.
Some of the strongest relationships I have ever had were with my administrators as we forged on together to make our department the best of the best. I very much worked at the sharp edge within the university so whoever worked with me had to be ready for a rocky ride. All the ladies that I worked with knew how to brace themselves time and time again before surfacing with a knowing look in their eyes. That look was still there as we shared stories of just how tough it got sometimes. Working in a university is not a life or death situation but it is a fast moving environment that can be incredibly demanding. The team I worked with knew how to put the students at the heart of everything we did and I was always so proud of that.
We departed with promises of reconnecting via facebook and by the time I got back to Donna's I had a whole batch of friendship requests and I was, once more, deeply touched. So it would appear that my old friends have reinstated themselves in the front row of my life where they belong and I could not be more pleased. Paul will want to take credit for this and I might just let him this time.
I am prone to a bit of organising so I am thinking that a little meet up once every few years would be the ultimate tribute to Paul. If his departing has made that possible it would be his turn to smile. So look out girls there will be parties....
I end with a special thank you to Donna. I would not have been able to even walk into the theatre without you right by myside and you saw me through one of the hardest times of my life.
Until tomorrow. Xx
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