Friday, 11 January 2013

Day 11 - Cradle me in your waves....

Friday 11th January
I have so got the bit between my teeth about women of a certain age. Just back from a visit to my lovely hairdresser, Shirley, who is about my age. Mind you she looks much much younger than me but we will ignore that. We had a fabulous chat about the issues raised by the C4 programme that I talked about yesterday. Shirley and I share lots of views across a broad range of subjects. Today, however, the chat was all about where we might go next with our lives. Shirley has plans and I have plans and it was completely liberating to talk to another woman who was on the same page and there was no need for translation. She laughed at my growing theory that modern women need not one but two periods in their lives where they just throw their lives up and see what falls out. We agreed that at some point in mid 40s to mid 50s women go through a chemical change and from that point on everything is different. We also agreed that this was a positive thing not something to be fearful of. Like me, Shirley wants to experience new things. She is not absolutely sure what but that doesn't matter at the moment. She has two boys that still need her to be 'mum' on a daily basis but that just means she has plenty of time to plan. How exciting!

After talking to several women over the past couple of days I would advocate that we listen to these changes and don't try to ignore them. Buddhism teaches us that we are all responsible for our own happiness and that sits well with me, especially at this time in my life. As my children grow up it is a lesson that I want them to understand. I wonder how many of you have bucket lists? I did my bucket list over the Christmas holidays and I enjoyed the challenge. You can do it @ and you can also see mine under the user name Fiona Doubleday. It is good to have a bucket list at my stage in life because I have lots of ideas but I also have lots of problems holding onto my ideas!

Today has been another lovely day on the island so I make that three in a row. Weak winter sun but dry and bright. I keep looking upwards anticipating the white stuff but I am less hopeful if I pay attention to the weather forecast. On a Friday the local newspaper is published and the locals catch up on all the news that has failed to be circulated word of mouth! It is the time of year when lots of island businesses are starting to prepare for the season ahead. Last season was a struggle with the weather being so poor so 2013 needs to be much better. If you want to see what is newsworthy at the moment just click on the link to the Banner in the side bar.

People often ask me if there is a strong sense of community on the island. There is indeed and I find that the island is full of interesting people. There are, of course, those people who have lived here all their lives but there are a lot of people who move her for lots of interesting reasons. Whatever the reason once here there is a strong sense of community and lots of activities to become a part of. As the year unfolds we will get into folk festival, music festivals, poetry festivals and walking festivals to name just a few. There are a lot of very talented people on the island who all have a beautiful island to draw inspiration from. A few years a very dear friend of mine died after a long and painful fight with cancer. She was so full of life and I felt so angry when she died. It took me a long time to lose that anger and then it all flooded away from me in a moment. I was on the beach looking out to sea and I sat down and wrote the following poem which I have dedicated to her. Debs was a women of a certain age when she sadly died and I have always felt a responsbility to her. If she was alive she would have the biggest bucket list of all of us! She is not alive but Shirley and I and millions of other women are still here and ready for the next big things in our lives, whatever they may be. I leave you with the poem I wrote for Debs and a photograph that suits the moment. Off to update my bucket list. xx

Cradle me in your waves, for fear I will die
Rock me gently, to listen to the sounds
That separate our lives through mottled beats unbound
Forever a curling light shields us from the night

Touch the cells in my heart to awaken the tears
Forgive the weak dots that speckle inside
To hide the fear for I am not lost
Wind through the threads that bind and tear

Open your eyes, just slightly at first
Seek out new life, create and share
Forget the pain that forged a trail
Cradle me in your heart, I fear I have died.