Day 105 - a tragic day

Monday 15th April

I have already written my blog for today but that will have to do another day now.  The train I am travelling on down the east coast has just killed someone at a road crossing.  Most of you will already know this from my facebook status.

The first we knew was the brakes going on quite suddenly and instinctively we knew something was wrong.  Many of us braced ourselves but it still seemed to take forever for the train to stop.  Some minutes later there was an announcement telling us that someone had been hit by the train at a road crossing we had just gone through.  More minutes passed and, in that time, I don't think any of us dare breathe. Then came the news that it was a fatality.  No one spoke as we all tried to covert what we had just heard into something that actually made sense.  From that point forwards I witnessed an immediate sense of community as we sat on that train.  Everyone reacts differently to trauma and this case was no different.  I felt completely and utterly sick and still do.  An elderly lady that I had helped onto the train with her bags was very upset so we did our best to calm her down.

A little boy kept asking his parents what was going on - his mind couldn't cope with this information.  The parents were very good with him and allowed him time to take in what had happened.  Very quickly the talk was for the driver as some people assumed it was a suicide.  I was less convinced of that as it was a road crossing incident and I am just hoping that it wasn't a young person thinking they could make it across after the barrier was down.  We were heading towards a station so it fits.  Whoever it is and for what reason it is just awful.  Too awful for words and none could bring any comfort at this stage anyway.

We were almost two hours at the scene while the train was examined and the transport police did what they had to do.  That is a long time to sit with people you don't know except that suddenly you feel you do know them.  They are no longer the strangers sitting next to you but real people with real lives.  We are moving again now with a new driver as I blog but there is a very strange atmosphere on the train.  A quietness has come over it as we all contemplate what we have just been part of.

I am not sure what to think except that the suddenness is truly shocking.  One minute alive, the very next dead and I think we forget that.  I am glad we forget that because it is not something to carry around with us.  We have all done our bit to support the most vulnerable and now settled down to see the journey through.  I have done what I can and can do no more.  It is true that you feel helpless in these times.  Except that I remembered my Buddhist teachings and tried to encourage people to stay as calm and quiet as possible to allow for the spirit to pass on gently.  I am sending blessings as far as they need to go and beyond.  A journey that will live with me and all my fellow passengers forever and so it should.
Until tomorrow. Xx