Friday 1st November
This could be a bit of a challenge as I am using an app to blog so that I can see if it works well enough. You know how slow I am to learn new software, especially when it says it is easy. I don't want to take my laptop away with me because it is just another thing to carry and the IPad is so much smaller. But the IPad has limited blogging facilities without an app so this has brought me to here. We shall see!
Last night was its usual madness for Halloween and it is always the funniest night of the year. I make up the most outrageous games and poor George got landed with some shocking forfeits but he took it well. With three boys it gets very competitive very quickly and the more competitive it gets the more I laugh. So we has flour up noses, charging round the garden in the dark, walking up the stairs on just knees and mummies wrapped in toilet paper. We did miss Molly but it was a fantastic family evening and one for the memory book.
Today began quite subdued until the combination of a light bulb moment and a very timely email got me jigging. Light bulb moments are my favourite thing in the world because when they come they bring their own little pocket of energy. You quickly wonder why it has taken you so long to think of it before moving into planning mode. I have friends that will tell me that all the things in my universe have come together and delivered this moment. I am never totally convinced by that but I would agree that this is the only time this particular scheme could unfold. It is far too early to be sharing as I have much to secure first to make the idea a reality but I hope that it will feature heavily as Scottish island mum moves into 2014 with the official launch in the summer. I have to stop my brain thinking about it or I will not be ready to leave the island next week.
Whilst deliberating that idea and jigging in comes an email that sets me off on a completely different path. This project is much more doable so I can tell you a little bit about it. The idea is that I would adopt a pen name to write under and begin a new site that focuses on the 'other side of me'. Intrigued by the project I got into conversation quickly and I like what I hear. The premise is that we are all complex beings and we have a mainstream identity that we share with everyone. Everyone understands that identity and knows how to behave around it. Hidden deep within us is another part of us that is relatively private for fear that it might be different to translate and understand. I have always felt that and so this project appealed immediately.
The idea is that I would write under that pen name and use the project to explore how that other part of me evolved, where it is located and how it might be shared. It is quite risky and possibly scary but I do love a challenge. I am well aware that this new project will not appeal to all the readers of Scottish island mum and nor should it. It doesn't try and compete with Scottish island mum and her plans for 2014 remain on track and completely focused. This new site would, perhaps, draw across readers who are interested in exploring such issues of identity, womanhood, sisterhood and freedom. None of these issues are easy so there is a degree of controversy in the mix but I hope to make a positive response to that. Female readers are the most obvious audience but it does not exclude men. It might even help men understand women more and that is a perennial issue for us all. Men and women are different beings but there are things that bind us and that will be part of the new project.
I don't see this as a major development. I see it as a slight escape and an opportunity worth investigating for a while. I will, of course, announce the pen name and site details here but it is not something I will share through my normal social networks so if you are interested you will need to look out for it and use the follow option on the site to keep up with new postings etc. The idea is that the project, which is a commission, will run for 12 months so it is a relatively short term scheme that I think is doable.
As we enter November we are really entering the final stages of this particular project and I have mixed emotions. I am ready for new challenges but I also know I will miss the daily relationship with my readers and even the daily writing of new material. I see this project as a time capsule. I have, essentially, captured a year of my life and I will always have it to look back on. Writing every day has given me an enormous insight into the person I am and also my place in this world. I have made lots and lots of new friends and I do hope to be able to stay in touch as we move into new projects. Max turned 13, George 16, Harry 18 and Molly is about to turn 21. This in itself is worth pausing to celebrate and this blog has been able to do that.
November will see a trip to London with Molly before returning home to tackle the Christmas markets head on. December is more about our own Christmas preparations which is my absolute favourite time of the year. The six of us are reunited and we always have the best of times. And then, on the 31st December I will get to the end of this year long project and that will need to be celebrated as well. There will be jigging but, I suspect, some little tears as well. It has been quite a journey.
I am off to consult my much depleted wardrobe on what might be suitable for a memorial service where, quite rightly, they have said 'no black'. We are there to celebrate Paul's life and I will need to keep my emotions under control. I will warn you through I find such events incredibly difficult so prepare for a bit of a rocky week next week which will come good at the end when my girl and I will be dancing in the isles at the Dirty Dancing show. I do like a good jig.
Until tomorrow. Xx
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